Random Tuesday Loony Thoughts and Daily Photo Blog! (woot!)

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Those are two of my favorite pics ever!  Awesomesauce! 🙂

I know I just said yesterday that I wasn’t going to blog very often.  But after just one day of blogging, I feel so much better.  Even though I write about useless facts and boring bits of my life, I realized something really important yesterday.  Blogging for me is VERY therapeutic!  I don’t think I realized how much until yesterday.

Thank you for all the amazing comments yesterday and the emails.  It was so sweet to get such a response.  Makes me feel good J

Part of my bi polar and anxiety is that my brain works 1000 miles an hour.  So while I am trying to type this I am also singing the lyrics to the song that is playing (Kanye West’s Love Lockdown) in iTunes, and anticipating the song that is next (Tik Tok by Ke$ha), thinking about the insurance issue with the physiatrist that I was supposed to see tomorrow and how they don’t take my insurance all the sudden and how I am waiting on this new doctor that is supposed to call to find out if they can get me in or not and how I live in this tiny town with not the best mental support system, and how awesome my therapy session felt yesterday and how I am starting to wonder if there is another baby on the horizon for us at all and if I can even try and get pregnant again right now and how I forgot to put lotion on my left leg today and how it feels surprisingly more dry than the right leg now and how I am thirsty and am halfway done with my seltzer and how I need to give the dogs a bath and how my computer monitors are so dusty I could write my name on them and oh yeah the laundry is backed up and the baby is still tossing and turning in his bed even though he just needs to go to sleep already and how I really can’t stand the thought of having another fucking thought right now!

If you are one of the very lucky people who doesn’t have to live with mental disease in your life, let me share something with you that you may not know.  YOU ARE SO LUCKY!  And all of us with mental disorder are crazy jealous of you and kinda want to squish your heads when you walk by.  Just saying.

This is a delicate act.  Trying to balance sanity and a nervous need to go FUCKING CRAZY.

OMG, I LOVE this Tik Tok song!!!

The other day I asked Tank when he was going to quit smoking.  He said “I will quit smoking when you quit Starbucks” and I said “done!” and he TOTALLY didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.  So I am giving up and going back to Starbucks tomorrow.  So there.

I know the anticipation of quitting is making him smoke more.  So he comes home and a green cloud follows him around.  It’s awful.  I cannot for the life of me understand how I ever smoked!  It baffles my mind.

I am diving back into music lately.  I am totally in love to the strangest of songs.  But I can’t help it.  I keep sending my 15 year old niece text messages saying “who sings ___?” and she always replies back with “Lol.. its ___”  I know I am old and uncool but I can’t help drive down the street blaring Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, from my Mommy Tahoe windows, who while I think is a mediocre singer at best, I still like a lot of her stuff!  And I am totally unashamed! Woot!

So who wants to go major grocery shopping for me?  Show of hands?  Anyone?

*sigh*

So in the middle of all this nonsensical madness going on right now, Monkey is trying to master the art of opening doors!  Which I assure you will drive me RIGHTOVERTHEEDGE!

Can’t he just sit still and stop getting into E V E R Y T H I N G????

He is a toddler you say?  Oh.

Ok there’s that.

*sigh*

Ok off to clean up and go shop.

Anyone have any FANTASTIC blogs that I should read that I missed.  I had to wipe the slate clean today and start fresh.  Just link me in the comments to anything that I wouldn’t want to miss.  Point me in the right direction!  Please!!

Happy Tuesday!!!  XOXO!!

In the land of Monkey’s Mama part deux

Being a stay at home Mom is a privilege.  One that I love the opportunity of having.  It is my favorite job and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.  But it is still a JOB.  Anyone who doesn’t agree with me can meet me at the flagpole after school!!

There are days when I feel like my job duties are monotonous and draining.  And then I have the dreaded “I don’t wanna” feeling.  All Mom’s do, right?

Well it has been raining non-stop for like 1290387412398412390 days and as I have expressed before, I *NEED* sunshine for my sanity.  When the weather gets like this I tend to start falling off in the chore department.  Laundry, house cleaning and even grocery shopping.

When I was single, I loved how on those days when I didn’t feel like grocery shopping, I could hop into my car, in my pajamas at whatever time I felt the urge, take a measly 3 bucks and get a fairly yummy dinner from my nearest fast food dump restaurant.  Then even better, no cooking and no dishes!!  Not really beneficial for my waistline but hey, what’s my waistline ever REALLY done for me?

Last week, I had to really start getting creative when it came to meals and snacks.  I have the basics to keep us going.  But I am usually so OCD that I have a list on the fridge of the meals I am going to make for the week.  Seriously.  It says on the top in bold script Meals by Mommy. 🙂

That is how I *usually* roll.  But then the rain hits me and all I care about is laying around, reading books to Jimmy, pretending my jammies are every day clothes, and letting the minutes slowly tick by during the day.

Then every day I glance at the clock around five o’clock and go “OH SHIT! What am I going to make for dinner?!?!”  And then proceed to run around the kitchen like a nut trying to find something suitable to feed us all.  The benefit to this is that I have created some really great meals with this tactic.  Meals that Hubby has asked me to repeat.

I am starting to ramble?  Oh.  Sorry.  Here is my actual point.  YES I did have one.

All of this made me start thinking of the little things that I miss.  None of which are missed enough to give up this rockin’ Mommy job of course, but they are things that I miss.  So I am going to share some of them with you.

I miss:

• Sleeping in (or the possibility of EVER sleeping in again)
• Pooping alone (they should tell kids in high school about this one! That would help eliminate a LOT of teen pregnancy, don’t you think? Lol)  Although when you have the toddler and both dogs in there, you can pretend it’s a party.  How fun, right? *eyeroll*
• Playing loud music in the car and SINGING out loud!  (and Monkey loves my singing! *sigh*)
• Sex anywhere in the house we want, whenever we want.  (I suppose there are always naps! LOL)
• Talking on the phone (which is the exact point in my sons head that he feels he needs to be the absolute LOUDEST he can possibly be… EVER!)
• Sunday lazy movies days spent all day on the couch in our jammies  (now if we try to watch any movie that doesn’t have Baby PainInTheAssCauseItsAllWeEverGetToWatch Einstein on the cover, Monkey screams and hits the TV, which makes movie watching less than pleasurable)
• Reading a book (I never thought I would have to give this up *sigh*)
• Going out to see a movie (in a THEATER!) anytime I want.
• Basically just having any privacy

I would love for everyone to share something they miss after becoming a Mommy.  And if you are not a Mommy, what is something you miss from… ummm… drawing a blank here… ummm…. You decide.  Kay?

Oh and thank BOB for the sun finally coming out this weekend!!  I feel much better!!  (Aside from the first trimester exhaustion, of course.)

Got the grocery shopping done.  Got the house cleaned… err… well sort of.  Things are sort of getting back to normal around these parts.  Mommy’s gloom is clearing. 🙂

Now today we have the ultrasound at 10:15 to check on the pregnancy.  That in and of itself is going to give me a heart attack.  Pray for me.  Please!  🙂