Archive for the 'TMI Thursday' Category

24
Nov
09

Throw the Beer in the Lake Random Tuesday Thoughts

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We went puttering around the mall on Sunday and came across a dude in a red suit.  So we thought we would see if Monkey wanted to sit on the strange guys lap and take a picture.  Sounds normal right?  HAHA

Monk did GREAT on Santa’s lap.  This Santa was the sweetest man!! Monkey went right to him!  It was really neat.  He wasn’t really dressed for the occasion but I did wipe the pizza off of his face before the picture, so that’s something at least, right? haha

Here is the picture.  I did edit the contrast and saturation a little bit.  You know me, I can’t help myself.  Besides, now it’s gobs better.  Trust me J

I was really surprised that he didn’t cry or anything.  He went right to him.

I am still debating on whether or not I want to tell Monkey there is a Santa.  I have this whole weird issue thing in my head with lying to my kid, even if “all the cool moms are doing it”.  I just want him to like the idea but not think that if he is “naughty” then the dude will show up with coal.  Ya know?

Thoughts?

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I am making a Turducken for Thanksgiving.  Anyone ever had one?

I am changing it up a bit and leaving out the duck.  And the chicken.  *grin*

What? *blink*

That was funny.  *pbbbbt*

~~~~~

I think I know why people always say I have slapstick humor. Its because they want to slap me with a stick when I am trying to be funny. *shrug*

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Another case of Hubby sleep-talking this week.  It always provides a giggle.  This one is sure to please…

Hubby (eyes still closed): “Throw it in the lake!”

Me (as usual, taken off guard): “Throw what in the lake?”

Hubby: “The beer!”

Me (stifling a giggle): “The beer?”

Hubby: “Yes.”

Me: “Umm… why would I throw beer in a lake?”

Hubby (clearly frustrated): “UH! Becaaaause it failed the breathalyzer!!”

Me (confused): “Wait… who failed the breathalyzer??”

Hubby (suddenly confused and calm): “umm… I dunno, I think the beer did”

Me (pushing for fun, heh): “Why did the beer take a breathalyzer?”

Hubby: “…………”

And he was out.  Lol

Good times.

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Military helicopters in groups of six have flown over my house four times since I wrote this.  Why does this give me the heebies?

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My dear friend Amanda entrusted me with her Grandmothers Spaghetti recipe.  We had it last night (Sunday night since I again wrote this blog a day ahead) and it was DELICIOUS!  But I really wish she had warned me about the effect it would have on all of us.  It sounded like there were 2 motorboats in my bed last night.  And there was another one in Monkey’s bed too.  I know because I kept hearing it on the monitor.

~~~~~

Speaking of my ass (yet again) it’s healing really well.  You know what happens when you start to heal?  You start o itch.  Like crazy!! I just wanna stick both my hands in my pants and scratch my butt like crazy!!  But that would look funny and mostly likely elicit stares not to mention it would be the 2nd worst thing I have done this week.  The first of course was luring that spider into my pants with my super inviting, sexy fanny.  Hows that for TMI?  Wait, this isn’t TMI Thursday you say?  *grin*


What is random about your day?


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Click here to view today’s Daily Photo Blog… Unamused Daily Photo Blog

19
Nov
09

I am alive, but… TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Anyone wonder where I have been this week?  (Thank you to those who sent emails and tweets and text messages, I will get back to you soon, I promise) Feel free to read ahead if you want the gory details.

Last Thursday I was sitting at my computer *shocker* and I felt myself get bit.  ON.MY.ASS.

So I jump up and rip my clothes off (and I was fast too!) and start swatting at my butt to get the spider or what I assumed was a spider away from me.

I wasn’t able to find the perpetrator, so I went to the bathroom to inspect my ass the wound.  There wasn’t anything that I could see and it didn’t really hurt anymore.  Just a little left over sting.  So I didn’t think too much else about it and went back to my internet addiction computer.

Friday I woke up and there was a sore.  It hurt, but not real bad, so I treated it with some peroxide and went about my day.

It progressively got worse to the point where I couldn’t sit and because it was so close to my tailbone and the nerves that surround your tailbone, even standing was painful.

Monday morning I went to the Urgent Care and they said that it was pretty bad and that they had to clean it out.  *GAG*

After 3 shots in my butt and a LOT of cursing, they got me all cleaned up and said that the spider bite had turned into a Staph Infection.  And the doctor did point out that there could have been no spider.  But DUDE, there was so a spider.  So, that’s my story.

He also said that I was lucky because it was REALLY bad and that if I had waited any longer it would have gone into my blood and apparently a Staph Infection can be fatal if left untreated.

Super.

So I go home and a few hours later, what fun should happen?  Oh… I suddenly had a fever.  A 103.3 fever!

Long story short (too late) I end up at the ER with WORTHLESS dr’s and sent home with MORE antibiotics.  I am on enough that I shouldn’t be able to catch anything for a least a year.  Hopefully I should be better soon.

Not the most exciting blog, sorry.  But now you know what happened.

It was a pain in my ass.  Bada bum!

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15
Oct
09

Go on, double click that mouse! TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Dear friends and family,

Please pass on this blog if you really do not want to read too much information about me.  Kay?  You have been warned.

Lets get on with it then.

Do you like to double click your mouse?  I do.  Not that this is a secret to those of you that know me.  I am a hornball so it would go without saying that a little clicking is part of my life.  Personally, I think it’s healthy.  And it makes me happy.  And we all know it feels good.  I think those that deny that they like it and don’t do it are denying themselves a God given gift.  And it makes me sad for them.

For me, my clickage started when I was very young.  According to my mother, it began when I was just under 2 years old.  I don’t remember that early but I do remember having a knowledge of what sex was at a very early age.  About 4.  There are a number of reasons that this could be, none of which I am going to go into here.

For some reason, my mother led me to believe that it was weird that I masturbated and that it was something that was to be hidden and not talked about.  I am not saying she should have let me give her dinner guests a show in the living room, but I do feel that being made to believe it was something dirty definitely began to shape my sexual awareness in a negative light.  I am not pointing blame at her because I think this was just what she thought was the right way to handle it at the time.  Doctors in the late 70’s would have told her the same thing.  And hell, they may say the same thing now, who knows.

A large contributing factor to the dirty feeling I got growing up when I knew I was sneaking around to “satisfy” was knowing how my mother would say “Cassandra!  That is something that we do in private, now go to your room” in her exasperated whisper.  She has a way of making you know exactly what her mind is thinking even without saying the words just by the look on her face or the tone of her voice.  And the tone of her voice said “you dirty little girl, that is disgusting” and that she was CLEARLY embarrassed by it.

I have it on good authority that my mother DOES NOT double click her mouse.  And it is sad because if you knew her, you would agree that a little clicking would do her good.

All I can take from the experiences from my childhood is ways that I can better parent my kids.  I hope to teach them that while masturbating is not something I want them doing at the dinner table or in public (unless they are grown and that’s their thing, which is fine, I don’t judge), that it is perfectly natural for them to do it and that neither their father or I will ever judge them for it.  Like my mother judged me.

I remember once when I was  around 12, I heard the word “masturbation” on television for the first time and asked my mother what it meant.

Mom: “well do you remember that ‘humping’ thing you used to do when you were really little?”

Me: VERY RED and embarrassed “umm… nooo… uhhh….. well maybe… yeah I think I might know what you mean” lying through my teeth, knowing full well what ‘humping’ she was referring.

Mom:  “well THAT is masturbation!” again with the exasperated tone “and you used to do it A LOT! Thank goodness THAT phase is over” turning back to her magazine.

And that was it.  The entire masturbation conversation.  Apparently she had no idea that I was indeed still in ‘THAT phase’.

Personally, I don’t know why sex and masturbation are such risque topics of conversation.  But I wish a conversation had opened up then about it.  That was such a perfect opportunity for discussion.  Makes me sad to think back about the narrow minded mother I grew up with.

I hope that I am not like that with my kids.  I am going to do what I can to make sure Monkey is MUCH older than 4 before he knows what sex is.  And also make sure that he knows he can talk to me about anything.  Something I always wished I had the option of with my mom.  *sigh*

Do you double click YOUR mouse?  How do you think it is best to discuss masturbation with your children?  What would/have you done, if you caught them masturbating?


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24
Sep
09

Care for some sticky sex? TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Welcome to another TMI Thursday!  If you are related to me and/or don’t want to read a fairly detailed story involving me and naughty things, don’t read.  You have been warned.

Four score and seven years ago… err… wait.  That’s another story.  LOL

Let’s just say MANY years ago… but not *that* many cause I am only 21, ahem, I was spending a relaxing, romantic weekend with my ex.  We had a beautiful cabin in Estes Park, overlooking a beautiful stream, surrounded by the beautiful mountains.  The room we rented had this huge Jacuzzi tub inside and all the luxury of a honeymoon suite.  Very romantic right?

Our first day there, we were enjoying the room and sitting on the couch talking.  One thing led to another and I was the recipient of some oral goodness on the couch.  Then of course oral fun leads to intercourse fun and viola, you have all the makings of a sexy romantic moment, right?

Until… you start to notice you are feeling… how shall I say?  Sticky?

Let me attempt to set the scene.  I am lying on my back.  He is on his knees, bent over at the waist, head laying on my shoulder after he has… had his ‘hoorah’ so to speak.

I have noticed that I am feeling the weird sticky feeling that I mentioned earlier.  Sticky.  Not quite a good feeling.  And then it hits me. “Where is your gum?!?!?!” after I notice that he is no longer chewing it.

Oh.

My.

Gawwwd.

Guess who forgot to take the gum out of his mouth and then forgot it was there AND THEN consequently got it stuck all over my girlie parts?!?!?!  Ahh yup!

So we are both COVERED in florescent blue chewing GUM!!! It is strung all over us and all over the couch. Neither of us were going for the Brazilian look at the time, so you can imagine when I say it was stuck… It was STUCK! Don’t judge, it was a LONG time ago and to be honest, I don’t even know if that look was invented yet! LOL

So we both are laughing hysterically, be in more of an angry “oh my effing lord, how could you forget you had gum in your mouth??” and him more of a “oh shit, she is going to kill me now” sort of laugh.

So there we are both sitting in the huge hot tub, not to enjoy a lovely bubble bath together, but to try and get the GUM OFF!  *eyeroll*

How is that for romance???

Make sure you head over to LiLu’s place to read other fantastic TMI stories!!

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17
Sep
09

The Bee’s Knees Sexy Sweet Nothings TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Well this would be my first TMI Thursday write ever.  I have been told that I should do this and week after week I rack my brain for something about poo or vagina’s to write about and I come up empty.

My Gram and I were on the phone for FOUR hours after she left the other day and we were sharing stories about relationships.  It was then that my first TMI story revealed itself to me.

Hope it’s all you ever hoped for Courtni! 🙂

I once dated a fireman.  We will call him J.  J was HOT.  I wish I had a picture because he so yummy!  He had a killer body and a nice chiseled face.  Blond hair, blue eyes.  He always looked like he just hopped off a surfboard.

sexy fire man

Pretty much the same bod, yup. *nod*

Very Fireman-esque.  I had more than one friend that was hot for his bod as soon as they met him.  ESPECIALLY after they found out he was a fireman.   Something about a uniform.  Don’t ask me cause I am guilty too.  Something about uniforms and/or suits.  As a matter of fact, throw Hubby into a suit and I am putty in his hands!

20040905-3538See?? Putty I tell ya.

Seriously.  But I digress…

J and I barely dated, so I use that term loosely.  But while I was still with my ex, who we will call Satan, I started working with J.  He was the maintenance man in the building I worked at.  He did that part time.  (Apparently being a fireman isn’t the paying gig that one might think it should be.)

Anyhoo… after I left Satan, J offered to help me move out. What a guy! *(I barely took anything when I left so it was a relatively easy move.)  But after he so nicely assisted me, we began to hang out more.  And when I say dated is a loose term, I mean he never took me anywhere except to Target once to help him shop.  I KNOW!  Lol

However, he started coming around more and I thought… I have never been a promiscuous person, but I just ended a 10 year nightmare relationship.  And this guy was HOT.  So I figured since the making out was so good (and it was)… why not? *grin*

So lemme set the scene for you.

We are making out on my couch.  The heavy petting kind of making out.  And I am thinkingYAY!! This is going to be awesome!!” He is breathing heavy, I am breathing heavy.  We are both still fully clothed, but things are heating up so I expect that will change any minute.

And then while nibbling on my ear, he whispers something that no man has ever said to me before.

J:  “Do you feel that baby?….” long pause… more excited noises “….That is my Chapstick tube”

chapstick

Ummmmm…….

Me:  “umm, whaaaat?”

J: “I said do you feel that?  That is my Chapstick tube”

WTF did he just say?!?!!!

wtf

Me: “umm… listen, I don’t think this is going to work for me.”

Talk about a MOOD KILLER!!  After that I made him leave.  I just thought, “WTF was *I* thinking!??!”

And I never heard from him again.  Ever.  LOL  He didn’t call or write or anything.  Just *POOF* gone.

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In other news…

I got an AWARD!!!  Why you ask?? Well cause I rock, thats why.  ayup!

Stacie of Stacie’s Madness gave me this award…

TheBeesKneesBlogAward2009

Since one of my all time favorite sayings is The Bee’s Knees, I just thought it was so fitting.  Don’t you agree??? 🙂

(This is where you say yes, btw) 😀

Here is the rules of the award:

Rules
1) When accepting your Bee’s Knees award you should link back to the person that presented it to you.

2) You should pass the love onto any other blogger(s) as many or as few as you so desire.

So then I had to go and think.  Who’s blogs are the Bee’s Knees.  And better yet, who would accept the award.  (I am just picking three of my fav’s, not THE ONLY fav’s so just hush. Otherwise, I will be here all day)  Sooooo, without further ado, I proudly present the Your Blog is The Bee’s Knees award to :

Jill of The Pilgrim Congress

LiLu of Live it LOVE it

Lani of Triplets: Who knew?

Any crazy TMI situations you have found yourself in?  Feel free to share below! 🙂

Have a FAB Thursday!!

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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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tweeeet:

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my validation!

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