Posts Tagged ‘mental disorder

26
Jan
10

Random Tuesday Loony Thoughts and Daily Photo Blog! (woot!)

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Those are two of my favorite pics ever!  Awesomesauce! 🙂

I know I just said yesterday that I wasn’t going to blog very often.  But after just one day of blogging, I feel so much better.  Even though I write about useless facts and boring bits of my life, I realized something really important yesterday.  Blogging for me is VERY therapeutic!  I don’t think I realized how much until yesterday.

Thank you for all the amazing comments yesterday and the emails.  It was so sweet to get such a response.  Makes me feel good J

Part of my bi polar and anxiety is that my brain works 1000 miles an hour.  So while I am trying to type this I am also singing the lyrics to the song that is playing (Kanye West’s Love Lockdown) in iTunes, and anticipating the song that is next (Tik Tok by Ke$ha), thinking about the insurance issue with the physiatrist that I was supposed to see tomorrow and how they don’t take my insurance all the sudden and how I am waiting on this new doctor that is supposed to call to find out if they can get me in or not and how I live in this tiny town with not the best mental support system, and how awesome my therapy session felt yesterday and how I am starting to wonder if there is another baby on the horizon for us at all and if I can even try and get pregnant again right now and how I forgot to put lotion on my left leg today and how it feels surprisingly more dry than the right leg now and how I am thirsty and am halfway done with my seltzer and how I need to give the dogs a bath and how my computer monitors are so dusty I could write my name on them and oh yeah the laundry is backed up and the baby is still tossing and turning in his bed even though he just needs to go to sleep already and how I really can’t stand the thought of having another fucking thought right now!

If you are one of the very lucky people who doesn’t have to live with mental disease in your life, let me share something with you that you may not know.  YOU ARE SO LUCKY!  And all of us with mental disorder are crazy jealous of you and kinda want to squish your heads when you walk by.  Just saying.

This is a delicate act.  Trying to balance sanity and a nervous need to go FUCKING CRAZY.

OMG, I LOVE this Tik Tok song!!!

The other day I asked Tank when he was going to quit smoking.  He said “I will quit smoking when you quit Starbucks” and I said “done!” and he TOTALLY didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.  So I am giving up and going back to Starbucks tomorrow.  So there.

I know the anticipation of quitting is making him smoke more.  So he comes home and a green cloud follows him around.  It’s awful.  I cannot for the life of me understand how I ever smoked!  It baffles my mind.

I am diving back into music lately.  I am totally in love to the strangest of songs.  But I can’t help it.  I keep sending my 15 year old niece text messages saying “who sings ___?” and she always replies back with “Lol.. its ___”  I know I am old and uncool but I can’t help drive down the street blaring Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, from my Mommy Tahoe windows, who while I think is a mediocre singer at best, I still like a lot of her stuff!  And I am totally unashamed! Woot!

So who wants to go major grocery shopping for me?  Show of hands?  Anyone?

*sigh*

So in the middle of all this nonsensical madness going on right now, Monkey is trying to master the art of opening doors!  Which I assure you will drive me RIGHTOVERTHEEDGE!

Can’t he just sit still and stop getting into E V E R Y T H I N G????

He is a toddler you say?  Oh.

Ok there’s that.

*sigh*

Ok off to clean up and go shop.

Anyone have any FANTASTIC blogs that I should read that I missed.  I had to wipe the slate clean today and start fresh.  Just link me in the comments to anything that I wouldn’t want to miss.  Point me in the right direction!  Please!!

Happy Tuesday!!!  XOXO!!


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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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my validation!

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