Posts Tagged ‘Dear So and So…

18
Sep
09

Rainy Irritable Dear So and So Friday

Dear So and So...

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sexy fire manYes, we all remember the fireman. 🙂

Dear Fireman J from yesterdays post,

Since I haven’t heard from you in (calculating in my head) ummm… years.  I completely forgot that you were on my Yahoo messenger list.  Which I have had since… forget it… a LONG time.  Anyhoo… you can imagine my complete and utter shock when I got your message on Yahoo yesterday.   Seems that your ears must have been burning.  While I did resist the urge to tell you how weird it was hearing from you because I had just posted a blog about your tiny penis it was hard for me to mask my shock.

You didn’t have much to say other than hello and to tell me that you are married now (I hope she has a fondness for Chapstick) and that you are both expecting your first baby next month, a girl.  Congratulations.  I actually think you will make a fantastic father.

Anyway, it was just totally beyond weird to hear from you COMPLETELY out of the blue.  I have been watching the heavens for lightening ever since for fear I am in big trouble with the dude (or chick) upstairs.  Am I am in trouble for flaunting your wee manhood in front of the world?  Or at least for flaunting in it front of all 69 of my readers? Ok totally going to hell for that.

Good luck to you J.

Cass

Ps. If you ever read this, I am totally talking about another J that I dated that was a fireman.  Totally.  It isn’t you.  He just happened to use the same Chapstick line.  But I hear a lot of guys use that line, so it totally wasn’t you I was referring.  🙂

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200236712-001THIS is how hard it’s been raining.

Dear Rain,

You SUCK!  You suck you suck you suck you suck!

Me

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Dear DVR,

No Mama has not abandoned you.  I promise to return soon and to soak up your love and flood you with kisses.  If it wasn’t for you, Mama couldn’t make it through this week at all knowing all of my shows were being saved in your perfect black little body.  I promise this won’t last much longer.

Forever devoted,

Me

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Dear Cass,

WTF where you thinking!?!?!  NO TV THIS WEEK!?!?  Do you not see the raining and the flooding outside?? Are you not catching onto the fact that both you and Monkey have *mad* cabin fever?  You need to seriously weigh your options here before you end up in a padded cell.

Just sayin,

Cass

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Dear Patio Furniture,

I am so sorry this is your life right now.  Your feet must be so pickled.  I would let you come in but… well you’re patio furniture.  Sorry.

Cass

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Dear Captcha Lovers,

Can you please give me one good reason why you REALLY need this on your blogs?  I am seriously having issues with my computer wanting to boycott them right now.  One major issue is that whenever I hit “Send” on my message in a hurry to get to the next blog, I click X and just as I see the captcha appear, the blog closes.  I have NO interest in going and finding your blog again and retyping my whole comment again so usually then you just get a simple comment like “cool” because I am so irked that I had to come back to play a game of captcha ball in the first place that I don’t even care if I have left a suitable comment.  (Yes that sentence was all one breath) And lately, I am getting to the point where I am seriously considering not commenting on them at all.  Cause I feel so irritable about it.  Does that make me a total bitch?

So I am asking, in all fairness… PLEASE… if you have a captcha… PLEASE… explain why.  I wanna know.  I really, really want to know.  Change my mind on it.  Kay?

Thanks much,

Big Mama Cass

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stop it

Dear Monkey,

Why must you open and close the same door 9 BILLION (yes with a B) times even after I have asked you 9 B I L L I O N times to stop??  And why must you continue to SLAM it into my wall whenever you swing it open.  The hole in Mommy’s wall will thank you to STOP IT.  Nnnkay?

While we are on the subject, why do you continue to scale every single piece of furniture??  You have the speed of a stealth bomber!  I blink and you are on top of the table holding the lamp!  STOP IT!

Please, please STOP IT before you give Mommy a heart attack.

Thanks,

Mama

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Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by… again!

Xoxo
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28
Aug
09

Happy Random Ranting Dear So and So!

Dear So and So...

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Huh?

Dear Random Reader,

I am sorry that when you searched for “urinate front yard” you found my blog.

Sucks to be a friggin weirdo you,

Cass

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Dear Baby to be,

Hi!  Even though you are only an itty bitty little blob of cells right now, I am SOOOO glad you are growing now.  I am sending lots and lots of prayer and crossed fingers and hopeful, positive, happy vibes your way.  Keep growing like you are.

Meet you next year,

Mommy

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Dear Doctor,

Even though I kinda want to strangle you most of the time.  Right now you seemed to have proved me wrong and indeed have helped me achieve my goal.  Now I don’t have to run you over if you walk in front of my car.

You win,

Cass

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Dear Gram,

I am so sorry that I am so boring and that your three week visit is consisting of grocery shopping, watching me cook dinner, watching me feed the baby, and watching me change the baby, and watching me chase the baby, and watching me put the baby in time-out AGAIN.  Feel free to clean when you are bored, that is *ahem* what I do.  *nod*

Boring,

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

Ya know how sometimes Mommy’s face gets bright red and steam comes out of her ears and she looks like her head is going to explode?  And how sometimes she throws herself on the floor and starts kicking and screaming and… oh wait… silly Mommy!  That isn’t Mommy who throws herself on the floor… that is YOUUUUUUUU.  But in case you were wondering… THAT is why Mommy’s face gets bright red and steam comes out of her ears and why she looks like her head is going to explode.  Keep that in mind in case Mommy’s head suddenly goes boom.

So loving this lovely terrible two phase that we are entering together,

Mommy

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Dear Cass,

Why must you giggle like a school girl when you read your stats?  Is it just because for the last FOUR days, yes FOUR DAYS in a row, you have had exactly 69 views?  It is coinsidence?  Yeah I didn’t think so either.

Giggle if you must,

Cass

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Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for reading!!
Xoxo
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14
Aug
09

Friday’s “Doooo whaaat?” Dear So and So…

Dear So and So...

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Dear Wrong Side of the Bed,

Thank you for having me wake up with you today.  However, I really want to be in a better mood.  So please, try to avoid me tomorrow.

Crabby and Irritable,

Cass

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Dear Sinus Infection,

It was so dear of you to think of me as a host to take over and torture.  However, it has been several weeks of feeling like complete SHEEEEEEET.  So if you could leave now and let the anti-biotics do their things I would SOOO appreciate it.  Kay? Thanks!

Your host,

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

I know you don’t feel good because you have the nasty sinus infection AND you just had your immunizations yesterday AND the meany doctor made me take away your “paci” AND you are teething.  For this I understand why you feel justified in just whining and being all around crabby all day and even in the wee hours of the night (12:30am; 1:15am; 2:40am; 3:30am!?!?!) when you scream bloody murder for me to come and get you.  But, if I could interject… I just don’t think that we need to keep this up much longer.  Ok?  Mommy loves you but she needs some sleep and a tiny bit of time without you clinging to the side of me like a growth.

Love you baby!

Mama

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Dear Monkey’s Pediatrician,

I really think you are awesome.  And I know you are *ahem* older and have been doing this pediatrician gig since 1812, however I do think maybe times are changing a bit.  So when we had this conversation yesterday:

Pediatrician:  Is he still throwing a lot of temper tantrums?

MamaCass:    Yes, pretty bad.  He even has begun hitting me in frustration sometimes.

Pediatrician:  Well when he does that you need to smack his hand and give him a stern NO.

MamaCass:    Well how can I teach him not to hit if I hit him? Isn’t that a mixed message?

Pediatrician:  *soft giggle* Well that is just how it’s done.

MamaCass:    *shrug*

So when I went on my merry way home after our appointment, I thought I would give it a try when he decided to smack me.  However, I got the same response when I tried swatting his butt last time (per your suggestion) for throwing a tantrum.  He laughed at me and ran off.  So my question is this… Is this a typical response?  And is this the desired result?  Cause I am just not seeing the benefit.

Confused on technique,

Cassi

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Dear Crazy person that searched for “my brain damaged husband in diapers” yesterday to get to my blog,

Doooo whaaaaaaat????

Feeling a little less crazy about myself now thanks to you,

Cass

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Dear WordPress,

I am strongly considering leaving you because you are just not Cassi user friendly.  Why must you make it so hard for me to make any simple changes???  Maybe someone *ahem* (yeah, I’m talkin to you!) could give me some input as to why they prefer Blogger over you.  Or why they prefer you over Blogger.

In mental tug of war,

Cass

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Dear Drop Dead Diva,

I am so glad that Lifetime has shown you to me!  You are my new favorite show.  Brooke Elliott portrays the Deb/Jane character SOOOO good!  Not to mention she is completely gorgeous!  I am completely in love with your show!  It is quirky, it is funny and it has serious issues too.  All around a great package.

Viewer for life,

Cassi

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Thanks for reading!!

Xoxo

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06
Aug
09

Chocolate Ranting Dust Bunny Lovin’ Dear So and So Friday

Dear So and So...

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anger-rant

Dear Readers,

Someone pissed in Mama’s Cheerios this week, don’t take it personal.  I am just a crabby pants.  Might have something to do with the humongous hormone surge coursing through my veins, but I am over it anyway.  Trust me so are others that are over it too, you aren’t the only one.  So bear with me on my rant today.  I will try to throw in some humor and niceties too.  Promise.

Love you for sticking with me,

Cass

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Dear Ovaries,

Today is the big day.  Even though I know you didn’t get the medicine you were SUPPOSED to get last night because the doctors in this po-dunk town are effing STUPID and didn’t give me enough, please, please, please let Mama get some good news today.

Much apprech,

Me

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Dear Fertility “Specialist”,

I am trying.  Like REALLY, really trying.  PLEASE. DO. NOT. MAKE. ME. SMACK. YOU.

Kapeesh?

Cass

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Dear UrbanDictionary.com,

Today when I looked up “Kapeesh”  in your database to see if I was spelling it right, I was pleasantly surprised to see that your definition shows The meaning is :If you don’t do this, your ass is mine.”  LOVE IT!!

You made my day,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

Seriously?? Seriously?

Bout ta smack ya,

Your wife

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Dear Chocolate,

Why must you tempt me so?  Our relationship has gotten to a volatile state.  Your abuse is ruining my complexion and my love for you always keeps me coming back for more.  Please, for the love of me, remove your addiction from my brain. Eating an entire bag of your sweet, delicious peanut M&M’s is like 12318902512389057 calories, right?  So, please, I beg you.  Please.  Stop torturing me.  Please?

I will love you always,

Cass

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Dear Sean,

Thank you gobs and gobs for messaging me on Facebook.  You have made my brain go into “Melancholy Overdrive” and I love it.  Fifteen years (gah! we are getting OLD) is far too long to have not heard from you.  I am so glad we have reconnected.

YAY!

Cass

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Dear Barnacle Baby,

I know you need me now,  but I do hope this is a passing phase.  (so do the dust bunnies building up in our house because of your little “show” of affection lately) Making Mommy hold you all day every day isn’t going to do wonderful things for your self esteem, especially if this goes on till you leave for college.  Your Prom date isn’t going to want Mommy there.  Just something to think about.

Love you,

Mommy

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for putting up with me today.  I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So.  Just  click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Thanks for reading!!

Xoxo

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31
Jul
09

Dear So and So…

Dear So and So...

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Dear Karen,

I know you are the “liaison” that I am supposed to speak to at Fertility Specialists of Dallas, however, you have a really shitty attitude and I have about had it up to here!  Please stop thinking the world revolves around you and learn a thing or two about CUSTOMER SERVICE.  Need I remind you I am giving your office my child’s college fund for the hopes of another pregnancy?  So, yeah, try to remember that next time I am being OVERLY nice to you even though you deserve obscenities and a smack.

Got it?

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

You rock.  Seriously!  You are so amazing and I am so lucky to have you.  I know I am going through some serious mood swings right now and I know it isn’t easy.  I can see that look that you sometimes get on your face where your mind is deciding whether to tell me to shut the hell up (which is what I deserve) or being the sweet agreeable husband that I need lately.  I so love that you are choosing the later.

Love,

Your devoted, cranky, irritable, but very loving wife

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Dear Baby Teeth,

Get on with it already!  My poor kid is now chewing on my poor couch!  Must you constantly grow?!?  I plead with you to just GET IN THERE already and give Monkey some peace.

Running out of Infant Midol,

Mama

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Dear Adult Acne,

It wasn’t enough that you drove me crazy over my teen years.  And then drove me bonkers as a young adult.  But to come back again in my thirties?  That is just true love right there.  Thanks so much for making me feel like a teenager again.  It is totally swell.

Seriously though?  Vacate the premises or Mama is going to get drastic.

Can’t really do anything about it except complain,

Me

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Dear Monkey,

I know you feel the need to be held by me 24/7 right now, and while I would LOVE to hold you always, there are just some things Mama can’t do with you in her arms.  Like vacuuming, driving, showering, making the bed, or trying to use the bathroom.  Although the latter, you really seem to think is a bonding moment.  It isn’t.  Just so you know.

Love you even though you are super needy and making me a tiny bit crazy right now,

Mama

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Dear Mosquito that bit me on the tip of my nose last weekend,

Thank you so much for your love bite.  However the huge swollen bump on my nose that most resembles a zit has made me feel like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer all week.  Clearly I already have issues with my complexion (see above) so you aren’t helping matters much.  Not to mention my depth perception is all thrown off because I keep seeing a big red spot in my line of vision where my nose once used to reside.

Please mention to all your nasty mosquito friends that I will not take kindly to this kind of abuse any longer.  Why must you all feast on me like Thanksgiving dinner?  It may have been a little funny when you thought to bite me on my rear end so that I was forced to walk around scratching my butt all day.  And it might even have been a good giggle when you got me right on my boob so that I had to pretend to want to hug everyone, even strangers to get a little itch out of the deal.  But I assure you, this most recent event has been the final straw.  I will… probably do nothing… but you better be scared anyway.

Jerks,

Tasty Skinned Mosquito Magnet

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Dear Poopy Diapers,

You are becoming more *gag* alarmingly *gag* disgusting.  Please stop.

Kay thanks,

The Diaper Changer

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Dear Readers,

If you would like to participate in Dear So and So, click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Thanks for reading!!

xoxo

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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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my validation!

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