Archive for the 'Pregnant Woes and Yays' Category

30
Dec
09

A Pity Party and a Picture

Soooo, a friend of mine is finding out the sex of her baby today.  She is pregnant.  We were due the same time.  Then I of course lost the pregnancy and she is still pregnant.  I am so happy for her but so totally bummed that I am no longer pregnant.  I am trying to stay positive and hopeful for when we do get pregnant but I can’t help but feel the sting a little.

I have to finish packing.  Our Big Adventure begins tomorrow!  I am trying to pretend I don’t notice the fact that Monkey is trying to make me CRrrrRAaaaaAAZZZzzzYYYyyY with his insensate NON.STOP.WHINING!  PMS and non stop whining?  Recipe for disaster.

Or recipe for earth shattering M.I.G.R.A.I.N.E. that I had to not only endure in torturing pain last night but then I had to go and force Hubby to leave work early and come home so that I could let him endure it as well.

These are the times Tequila Shots are made of.

As promised, a pic…

sign 102609

12
Oct
09

I’m Back! Monday Dribble

Happy Monday!

First let me just say thank you to everyone who sent the wonderful emails and messages last week.  The D&C was done last Monday and I am feeling much better to have put it behind us.  I just needed to take the week last week to just recoup and be with my family.  It was good for me to do that and I think it helped a lot with the healing/grieving process.

We saw the NEW awesome Dr W today for my post-op follow up.  He thinks that we should be ready to begin the process again in December.  So that is what we are going to shoot for.  Time will tell how my body reacts to everything and what the exact time frame will be but I am very optimistic that next time we will get a healthy pregnancy.

So moving on to funnier things, since that’s how I roll, yo!

Heh

Today while I was in the shower, Monkey was playing around the bathroom waiting for me.  When I got out of the shower, he stood there frozen staring at me.

Eyes as big as saucers.

In one hand he held the toilet brush *gag*.

And in the other… MY TOOTHBRUSH.

Oh yeah.

And guess who hadn’t brushed her teeth yet?  Just thinking of all of the things that he could have done with that toothbrush while I was in the shower made me a little dizzy.  LOL

At twenty months of age, Monkey has already learned the yummy goodness that is the “Cookie”.  This has recently been realized as a pretty cool thing.  Here is why.

He doesn’t like to try anything new.  ANYTHING new.  He turns up his nose and hollers at me every time I try.  By his reaction, you would think I offered him a flaming turd!

*shrug*

I want him to try new things, so I have to be creative.  I try to trick the toddler brain.  Last week I got him to eat slices of cucumber by asking him “want a cookie?”  Today, slices of Apple, same thing.  How bad am I?

Eh, it works.  I am going to go with what works.

Ok, I have a serious issue.  And I really need some advice from y’all.

The babysitter.  Monkey LOVES her.  But she is stinking up the house!  It’s insane how bad the smell of dog urine is after she is here.  As soon as she walks in the door I am smacked in the face by it.  I have no idea what to do about it.  I am sure she doesn’t realize this and up until now, I haven’t felt that there is any way that I could tell her.  But now, I think I have to.  I am using a TON of febreeze and Lysol every day now to rid the smell from my house.  I have to febreeze everywhere that she sat.  Which isn’t hard to figure out because the green smoke rising from the carpet or couch cushion is a good indicator.

All I can think of is that while she is here, Monkey has to suffer through that smell.  If it were me, I would go crazy.  I never get used to the smell.  I can’t imagine how anyone ever could.

I have been checking my carpet with the black light almost every evening now to make sure it isn’t my dogs.

I don’t know what to do!!!

Would you tell her?  How?!?!  Please tell me what you think I should do because I don’t want to lose her as a Nanny but I can’t deal with it anymore.  *sigh*

Photobucket

02
Oct
09

Yay! It’s Friday Dear So and So!!!

Dear So and So...

——————————————–

Dear Dr W,

You are my new doctor.  Oh my effing god you ROCK!  You are so awesome and I am so glad I found you.

Even though I am petrified about having the D&C on Monday, I couldn’t ask for a more competent doctor.  And I trust your judgment that we cannot wait any longer.

The glowing review from Dr G really helped but when I learned that you used to partner with the doctor the delivered my son, now THAT makes me heart you.  Totally.

I am so glad I found you and when you said that you couldn’t wait to you deliver my next child, I knew.  I really, really knew.

You rock,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Hubby,

I am so happy that you are back.  I am officially swooning.  I fall in love with you all over again every day.  It’s wonderful.  I am so lucky.  (And so are you *grin*)

Loving you always,

Wife

PS… You, me, wine, candlelight, Saturday night, be there *wink*

——————————————–

Dear Monkey,

I love how even though I didn’t have to tell you how much Mommy was going through you just knew.  You have been my little rock this week.  Your extra hugs and kisses when I don’t even expect them are AMAZING.  I am so blessed to have such a perfect tiny man in my life.

Love you baby,

Mommy

——————————————–

Dear Nanny,

Monkey loves you.  And this in turn makes Hubby and I love you.  However, it has begun to puzzle me how you oddly smell of Indian food and dog urine lately.  At first, I thought maybe it was me.  However, now I have had to change Monkey’s clothes and Febreeze the entire house after your departure the last two times you were here.

We will continue to love you, but do tell… what’s the deal?  Anything I can do?

Puzzled,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Daisy,

Thank you for jumping up to greet Mommy when she came home from the doctor today.  I love how much you love me.  However, the HUGE HOLE you tore in my new shirt… doesn’t love you.

Now hold still so I can cut your dang nails!!!

Also, can you tell me why EVERYONE in this house has fingernail issues, including yourself??

Frustrated,

Mom

——————————————–

Dear Steelers,

Please feel free to kick some Chargers tail this weekend.

Yay!! 🙂

Proudly sporting my black and gold,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Mother Nature,

Awwwww, thank you SOOOOO much for finally reading my letters, emails and texts, however, I suspect the sky writing plane with the sign “BRING COOLER WEATHER… PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!” may have done the trick.  81 degrees today?  You ROCK!

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Readers,

Want to participate in Dear So and So?  Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Can’t wait to read your letters!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Smootchies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Photobucket

01
Oct
09

Umm… That’s not your belly button…

Happy Thursday!  Which means TOMORROW awesome peeps is FRIDAY!!  Wootwoot! 🙂

Ok so technically, Mommy’s don’t get weekends, but I like to dream, nnkay?

LOL

So my sour puss whiny self has officially left the building.  I know, try to contain your sighs of relief.

And I have decided to postpone the D&C and let nature take a shot at this first.  If nothing works in a week or so, then D&C it is.

BUT!  Until then… I PROMISE, no more sappy, crabby, the world sucks comments.  Kay?

I have a killer support system.  Dude seriously, how lucky am I?  All of my friends and family and internet friends out there are so awesome!!

I know that this pregnancy didn’t work, and trust me when I say that I am pissed about it, but I am to the point now where I know there isn’t anything I can do about it except let it happen and move on to the next one.

Even with this, we are undeterred from our goal.  Sure it sucks (way!) but it is what it is.  So we move on.

So *I* finally finished a BOOK!  I have been having some sort of readers block (haha) for a few months now.  I used to read book after book after book.  Somehow, in the last few months, I hit a wall.  So I finally finished reading Submissive Confessions by CK George.  AWWW AWW AWWESOME book!  I TOTALLY recommend checking it out.  Go there, click the link.  You KNOW you want to.  😀

And now I am finally getting back to Lost and Found by Jacqueline Sheehan which I am totally diggin so far.  It’s a calm easy read after the very powerful emotions of the last book.

I know I am SOOOOOO behind on blogs but I have been going thru some stuff. 🙂 So I promise… no… I *VOW* to get back to them very soon and again read each and every one of your blogs.

Promise.  Cross my heart.  Hope to… why the hell did we ever think that was a good saying as kids??

Anyhoo… I totally promise, k?  Pinky swear! 🙂

So on a totally funny note, I will leave you with this…

Last night we (Monkey and I) were on webcam with my Gram and my Dad.  Monkey was laughing and kissing them on the monitor and doing all the cutie patootie stuff that he always does.

And then, as mothers typically do, I wanted to show them some of the new tricks… err things he has learned.  *teehee*  So I say, “Monkey, where are your hands?” and he waves his hands in front of him and laughs, and I say “Good job Monkey, where is your belly button?” and expect him to lift his shirt and point to his belly button as he usually does.  However, in a curious turn of events he instead grabs his mini man parts like he is Michael Jackson or Andrew Dice Clay!  They start LAUGHING, and I am laughing and it’s all good times had by all.

Well that’s all for me today.  Poor hubby has been working a gazillion hours this week so I need to sneak in a shower while Monkey naps or I can say adios to getting clean today.

Have a fantastic day all.

MUCH LOVE for all the amazing comments, emails and messages you have all been sending.  You have no idea how helpful you have all been.  I owe you.  Big time.

Hugs!!

ps… and Monkey is awake.  So much for *regular bathing*

*eyeroll*

Photobucket

29
Sep
09

Chia Bush and Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Well it’s Tuesday and so I am going for the Random today.

Thank you all for the amazing emails and messages and the loss of our pregnancy.  You are all amazing for being so thoughtful.

I got the most amazing email from a dear friend of mine, Steph, in Colorado yesterday.    It made me laugh and cry and love her that much more.  It read:

muah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muah  ‘let me take a breath’   muah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muah

LET ME TAKE ANOTHER BREATH.   i HAVE A FRUTOPIA CAP….WILL YOU MARRY ME?

That was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in such a long time.  She is such a great friend.  I have so many great friends.  I am so lucky to have them all in my life.  Some of them read this blog.  Hello friends.

I hate that my friends are all so far away, but have comfort in the fact that I know without doubt, that they would all be by my side in an instant if they could.

I love them all for that.

I love you all for that.

I miss them so desperately right now and wish I could be with them.  I need you right now friends. *sigh*

I am going to be going to dinner tonight with one of those friends.  I plan to drink margaritas and eat fattening foods and have not a worry in the world.  That is my plan.  Sounds good, right?

I was marveling yesterday at how HUGE my son’s feet are.  He definitely has his father’s feet.  He is only 31 inches tall and is already on his way to growing out of his size 6 shoes.  He looks like an L.  It makes me all mushy to think about how when he was born I looked at those little feet and thought, “how perfect!” well technically that was after I thought “Yay! he has 10 toes!” 🙂

They grow so fast.  *sigh*

Speaking of growing, have you seen the Obama Chia Pet??  SERIOUSLY, people???  Oh…. My… Gawwwd!  Where do I sign up for my Chia Bush?  (heh heh)  or my Chia Clinton?  How many presidents have a Chia head??  Seriously, this is so beyond disturbing to me.

It is ALMOST as bad as my poor son’s hair.  That is another thing that grows at an alarming rate.  He is going on full fro status, if I don’t do something soon.

Time to take him to the beauty parlor so he can scream like a banshee.  Seriously, people were walking by to make sure she wasn’t cutting off an ear or finger.  Our patient Beautician, Terra, just kept on with it, trying to get it done as quickly as possible and trying to calm his little nerves with no avail.  He on the other hand clung to me like I was trying to hand him over to a three headed monster.  Poor Terra.

I better suck it up and get him in there soon, or I am going to need to buy him some pony tails and bows.  Poor kid.  Lol

I am totally addicted to listening to Ben Folds lately.  Over and over and over and over.  I am so lame.  I want to feel that way in that song.  *sigh*

I am about as grouchy and bitchy as they come right now.  I am still sort of pissed at the world.  Even though the world didn’t do anything specifically.  I hope I am over my funk soon.

Sorry I haven’t been reading blogs.  I haven’t had the interest in posting a Daily Photo Blog either.  I’m sure you’re heartbroken.  I will get back to them soon.  Thank you for your patience.


Photobucket

28
Sep
09

The Dreaded Post…

The ultrasound Friday with Dr G didn’t go well.  Not only did he not find a heartbeat but the pregnancy stopped growing.  It not only stopped growing, but actually started shrinking.  Which Dr G says is normal when the pregnancy fails.

Last Monday, the crown to rump measurement was 1.8 cm, and Friday it was only 2 mm!

Dr G has referred me to a new doctor, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  However when I called the new doctor, he is out of town until next week.  So I have to go to Dallas to have the D&C done on  Friday.  Dallas is a 3 hour drive.  ONE WAY.  Should be a fun day.  I am going to request a sleeping pill so that I can sleep in the car on the way back.

We are going to try again, and life is going to go on.  This isn’t the first time.  Not even close.  But right now, I just need a bit of time to process.  To grieve.  To be angry.  To mourn. To curse the world and all of the pregnant “oops I am pregnant” women out there who have no idea how freaking lucky they are.  Bitter much?

25
Sep
09

Puggy Petrified Dear So and So Friday

Dear So and So...

——————————————–

Dear Jasmine, Queen of this crib,

I love you.  I do.  You are by far the VERY coolest Pug I have EVER met.  However, Mommy has a bone to pick with you.  And not the kind you like.

Why must you stand in the kitchen and bark for my attention when I am on the other side of the house?? All so that I can come running, thinking there is something wrong with you, like you are stuck in a bear trap (what? It could happen)?  And then to be suckered into the very basic need of you wanting a treat.  A treat that you did nothing to deserve.  Except perhaps making Mommy stub her toe while coming to your “aide”.  *humph*

Not cool chicka, not cool.

Mama

PS.  Thanks so much for rushing to my side immediately after I wrote this letter to you, and promptly puking the bone/treat on the carpet next to my feet.  That was LUUUVVLY.  *gag*

——————————————–

Dear Cass,

How weird are you that in order to clean up the dog vomit you start chanting to yourself “it’s poop, it’s poop, pretend its poop, it’s poop,  it’s only poop!” in order to keep from heaving?  Even *I* think that is weird.  And I am you.  Sooo…    whoa.

Me

——————————————–

Dear Window 7,

Wow!  I said it could never be done, but Microsoft has apparently finally put something out on the market that actually works.  And you my friend are it.  I am in love with how smoothly you actually work.  And going on 4 months without an issue, I am in shock.  Wow.

Maybe the Microsoft Nazi’s are done trying to take over the world.

Not likely but hoping,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Hubby,

Date last night was rockin!  You were smoking in your sexy get up.  And clearly, so was I.  Since you have already thanked me (heh heh), I suppose I won’t bitch and complain from now until Sunday night while you are off gallivanting with your fishing buddies off in the river.

Have a good time, because next weekend Mama gets a day off! Kapeesh?

Love you,

Wife

——————————————–

Dear Monkey,

Mama can’t believe you are in a big boy bed!  I am so proud of you!  Do you think that, perhaps, you could wake me up in the morning when you get up?  Then you won’t have to take every single diaper out of the diaper changing table and throw them across the room.  And you won’t have to take all of your clothes out of your dresser drawers and THROW them all over you room.  Mommy put those toys in there for you to play with.  Not for you to THROW across the room.  (I amsensing a theme here?)

Thank you regardless for letting me sleep an additional 39 minutes this morning.  It was completely worth walking into the diaper, clothes, toy tornado that was your room.  TOTALLY worth it.

Love you baby,

Mommy

——————————————–

Dear Dr G,

Give me some good news today about the pregnancy, k?  I am really really really really really really scared.  Really.

Please?  Please.  Pretty Please.  K?

Petrified,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by, again 🙂
Xoxo

Photobucket




Photobucket

about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

Photobucket

my photography page:

Photobucket

tweeeet:

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

my validation!

Photobucket