Archive for the 'Things I have learned from my Toddler' Category


Things I have learned from my Toddler #5

It is that time again for Things I have Learned from my Toddler!  If you want to see the previous four installments, click here.

I have learned that the toddler wants what the toddler wants.  If you have had or have a toddler, you know what this means.  If not… well then I can’t really explain it to you.  Go borrow someone’s toddler for 2 minutes and you will get it.

I have learned that if you are looking for your cell phone, the chances are good that Monkey hid it.  Not for any reason that you can figure out.  But there is a chance he will retrieve it when asked.  From places like his toy box, behind the TV and under his bed.  But there is also a chance that he won’t.  And that you will find it underneath your pillow, in the kitchen cabinet or in the hamper.  Regardless, be on alert at all times.

I have learned that if you make a #2 in the “big girl potty”, and your toddler happens to walk into the bathroom during or after the “occurrence”, you will not feel less embarrassed when he says “Ewwww!” even though it is only you and he in the room.

I have learned that my toddler is VERY territorial about food.  To “mark” his territory, he will take a bite out of everything that he wants and then set it down to ensure nobody else wants takes the item..  This includes all veggies that he thinks YOU will eat.  Or crackers, or MOMMY’S cookies.

I have learned that I cannot force my toddler to like ice cream just so I have an excuse to buy it even if I really think he should so I don’t eat it all cause it tastes so yummy.  And that in the world of what is yummy, he would prefer a juice box over ice cream any day.  Go figure.  (I know, what a weirdo, right?)

I have learned that when you are giving your toddler a bath and you hear this series of noises…

“Blurp Blurrrp”

“Hee hee heeee!”

“Blurrp Blurrrrp”

“Hee He He He Heeee!”


“Uh oh”



…It will be soon be followed with you having to bleach the tub and all the tub toys and washing your toddler in the bathroom sink all over again from head to toe.  Oh yeah, good times.

I have learned that letting your toddler stand behind you on your office chair while you play computer games work isn’t a good plan even though he screams bloody frickin murder if you don’t let him really wants to.  Because the truth is, lets face it, he inherited your balance and when he freakishly falls for no apparent reason face fist into the dresser drawer that is only open less than a half inch and puts a HOLE IN HIS FACE…. *deep breath* … you are going to feel like the worse mother ON THE PLANET.

Oh and then you will have to rush him to the ER and they will hold him down like a crazy murderer while they “FLUSH” his forehead with a fire hose! (ok maybe it was just saline) but I bet it FELT like a fire hose! And then they will use SUPER GLUE (medical grade super glue) to G.L.U.E. his forehead back together!!!

And then his perfect little face will forever bear the big ole sign telling the whole world “YOU ARE THE WORST MORTHER IN THE UNIVERSE!!!”

Or maybe he is just a boy and you need to get over yourself and suck it up cause I got a feeling there are more stitches and glue in our future with this one.


I have learned that 2 years goes by in a FLASH and that before you know it you turn around and you only have FOUR days until your precious Monkey has his second birthday! *gasp*

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Things I have learned from my Toddler #4

I have learned that if there is a door within 50 feet, it will be slammed.  As loud as is humanly possible.  And will conclude with a “YAYYYY!!!” and clapping of toddler hands.  *eyeroll*

I have learned that carrying an 812 pound diaper bag is normal.  Even though my brain tried to tell me it was Abby.  I also learned that when I tried to take a quick jaunt out of the house withOUT my 812 pound diaper bag, I of course needed diapers, wipes, toys, sippy cup  AND the baby Tylenol.  *sigh*

I have learned that now that Monkey is now an almost 22 monther… he is a “big kid” now.  Apparently this means that if I don’t let him do everything himself… and I mean E V E R Y T H I N G, then he will throw himself on the floor and proceed to kick and scream giving every indication that he is being mauled by a bear.    This extends to but is not limited to getting his own snack traps and sippy cups, throwing his diapers away, closing the blinds at night and naptime in his room, and most recently… wiping his own P.K.G. with a baby wipe.  Which I am cool with as long as he doesn’t turn into his mama and start liking that sort of thing at a young age. *ahem*

I have learned that if I ever want to do anything on the computer again, I have to have Monkey sitting in my lap while at my desk, with an ice cold beverage of his choice and a snack on standby.  This has become our regular activity when Mommy wants to feed her blog and social networking habit work on the computer.

I have learned that even though I am trying to get things done on the computer and frustrated that Monkey keeps touching EVERYTHING within reach, like every key on the keyboard, the mouse, my glasses (while on my face) and pens and paper, and moving around and standing and sitting and standing and sitting and standing and sitt… ahem… anyway… all it takes is one little hug from him when all he wants at that moment is to cuddle with his Mama and the whole world fades away and I am putty.  Putty I tell ya.

I have learned that something as fairly minute as a slightly chipped tooth on my toddler can bring me to full on sobs.  This is especially odd, when the completely uninjured toddler sits staring at you like… “wtf ma?”

That’s it for today.

What have you learned from your kids?

Hope everyone had a fab holiday!


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Things I have learned from my Toddler #3

Happy Monday!  Welcome to another installment of Things I have learned from my Toddler.

I have learned that even if you call your Toddler Monkey all the time, he may not be so keen on the idea of wearing a Monkey Halloween costume.  And he may or may not hate you one day for making him wear it…

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I’ve learned that they do however love wearing headbands, once they have seen you do it…

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I’ve learned that bananas do not make good hair gel…


I’ve learned that when screaming persists in the car, you should just kick ’em out and make ’em walk! lol …

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I have learned that even though it tastes good and goes down fast, spaghetti is NOT as easy to clean as you may think…

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I have also learned that getting an extra hour of sleep in the morning (yes I said HOUR) is totally worth it even if you walk into THIS every morning…

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What have you learned from your toddler?  Any idea’s on how to baby proof the baby room?? haha

Have a fantastic day!



In the land of Monkey’s Mama part deux

Being a stay at home Mom is a privilege.  One that I love the opportunity of having.  It is my favorite job and I wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world.  But it is still a JOB.  Anyone who doesn’t agree with me can meet me at the flagpole after school!!

There are days when I feel like my job duties are monotonous and draining.  And then I have the dreaded “I don’t wanna” feeling.  All Mom’s do, right?


Well it has been raining non-stop for like 1290387412398412390 days and as I have expressed before, I *NEED* sunshine for my sanity.  When the weather gets like this I tend to start falling off in the chore department.  Laundry, house cleaning and even grocery shopping.

When I was single, I loved how on those days when I didn’t feel like grocery shopping, I could hop into my car, in my pajamas at whatever time I felt the urge, take a measly 3 bucks and get a fairly yummy dinner from my nearest fast food dump restaurant.  Then even better, no cooking and no dishes!!  Not really beneficial for my waistline but hey, what’s my waistline ever REALLY done for me?

Last week, I had to really start getting creative when it came to meals and snacks.  I have the basics to keep us going.  But I am usually so OCD that I have a list on the fridge of the meals I am going to make for the week.  Seriously.  It says on the top in bold script Meals by Mommy. 🙂


That is how I *usually* roll.  But then the rain hits me and all I care about is laying around, reading books to Jimmy, pretending my jammies are every day clothes, and letting the minutes slowly tick by during the day.

Then every day I glance at the clock around five o’clock and go “OH SHIT! What am I going to make for dinner?!?!”  And then proceed to run around the kitchen like a nut trying to find something suitable to feed us all.  The benefit to this is that I have created some really great meals with this tactic.  Meals that Hubby has asked me to repeat.

I am starting to ramble?  Oh.  Sorry.  Here is my actual point.  YES I did have one.

All of this made me start thinking of the little things that I miss.  None of which are missed enough to give up this rockin’ Mommy job of course, but they are things that I miss.  So I am going to share some of them with you.

I miss:

  • Sleeping in (or the possibility of EVER sleeping in again)
  • Pooping alone (they should tell kids in high school about this one! That would help eliminate a LOT of teen pregnancy, don’t you think? Lol)  Although when you have the toddler and both dogs in there, you can pretend it’s a party.  How fun, right? *eyeroll*
  • Playing loud music in the car and SINGING out loud!  (and Monkey loves my singing! *sigh*)
  • Sex anywhere in the house we want, whenever we want.  (I suppose there are always naps! LOL)
  • Talking on the phone (which is the exact point in my sons head that he feels he needs to be the absolute LOUDEST he can possibly be… EVER!)
  • Sunday lazy movies days spent all day on the couch in our jammies  (now if we try to watch any movie that doesn’t have Baby PainInTheAssCauseItsAllWeEverGetToWatch Einstein on the cover, Monkey screams and hits the TV, which makes movie watching less than pleasurable)
  • Reading a book (I never thought I would have to give this up *sigh*)
  • Going out to see a movie (in a THEATER!) anytime I want.
  • Basically just having any privacy

I would love for everyone to share something they miss after becoming a Mommy.  And if you are not a Mommy, what is something you miss from… ummm… drawing a blank here… ummm…. You decide.  Kay?

Oh and thank BOB for the sun finally coming out this weekend!!  I feel much better!!  (Aside from the first trimester exhaustion, of course.)


Got the grocery shopping done.  Got the house cleaned… err… well sort of.  Things are sort of getting back to normal around these parts.  Mommy’s gloom is clearing. 🙂

Now today we have the ultrasound at 10:15 to check on the pregnancy.  That in and of itself is going to give me a heart attack.  Pray for me.  Please!  🙂



Things I have Learned from my Toddler #2

It is that time again.  Time for another installment of Things I have Learned from my Toddler!!

It is interesting to me that as Monkey grows I begin to notice a lot of his quirks.  Unlucky for him, he seems to take after his Mama in that regard.  I am also amazed at how easily is it to communicate with him considering that really the only words he uses are “car” and “hey”.

For example, right now, while trying to type this blog on my laptop, he has apparently decided that he does not want me working on the laptop but yet paying attention to him while he watches Baby Crack Einstein.  The way he communicates this to me is to run up to me screaming and slam the lid of the laptop as hard as he can while my fingers narrowly escape sudden doom.  The he struts away proud of himself with a loud “UH!” as if to say “There!”  *shrug*

When he wants to tell me that he wants another Baby Crack Einstein movie, instead of saying simply, “Mama, another movie please.” he runs up to the TV and with full force slamming into it and then starts beating on it while pointing up to the DVD player.  He does this all while grunting like a caveman.  “UHH UHH UHH UHH!!!!”  And then god forbid you would put the movie in that he didn’t request, because then the screaming and grunting graduates to new levels and the TV begs you to get it right and stop the abuse.

Now don’t go thinking that I haven’t read all the baby and parenting books and consulted my pediatrician.  Because I have.  Several times.  Seriously!  And I know that I am supposed to say “use your words please” and try and get him to use those words before giving into him, but I tell you my TV was CRYING.  “Please, don’t let him beat on me anymore!! Pleeeeaaaaase!!”

What would you do?  Uh huh.

Actually this DVD thing is new because I typically don’t let him watch a lot of TV usually.  Just in the mornings and at night.  However, since he is feeling so under the weather lately and prefers to watch his DVD’s, I have been giving in a lot more.  And if that isn’t enough, the beating on the TV and grunting usually convinces me that he would rather be watching TV.

My poor TV.

Another thing I have learned recently is that somewhere around 19 months of age, my toddler will begin to refuse all food that is not chicken nuggets or fruit.  ALL food.  It doesn’t matter if yesterday it was his favorite food.  He won’t even TOUCH it.  Let alone put the evil not to be tasted food into his mouth.  I don’t know where he gets that from.  His father and I both eat pretty much everything.  Duh.  LOL

When your toddler comes running into the living room proud to present the prize he has found and places into your hand a bottle of flavored massage oil… it is time to get locks on the nightstand drawers in your bedroom.  *nod*  God forbid he would find anything else interesting in those drawers.  We just won’t go there.  Buy new locks? Check!



about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


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