Archive for the 'Life, Life, Life' Category

19
Feb
10

Swim baby swim!!

A totally inappropriate but HILARIOUS cartoon I found to kick off my blog today.

GUESS WHAT?!?!?!

My follicles are rockin their little socks off!! WOOHOOO!

My ultrasound went super duper awesome today and so I gave myself a trigger shot (to force my body to ovulate) with the BIGGEST needle IN THE WORLD!!!

ok, ok maybe it wasn’t THAT big

…at 1:15 today.  Annnd tomorrow morning we make the drive to Dallas at 5 am *gasp* to get the IUI.

I am OVER THE MOOOOOOON!  Tomorrow is the day we will make a baby.  I just know it will work.  And I know in my heart it will stick this time.

So I need y’all to do me a favor…

Say a prayer, cross your fingers, rub Buddha’s belly, throw salt over your shoulder, light a candle… whatever you do… do it!  K?

Please???  I will owe ya.  Kay?

Cheers to BM10!!!

PS… Please also say a prayer for my sanity tomorrow because we are going to have to take Monkey to Dallas with us.  The sitter can’t be here because she has a once a year seminar she has to attend for school.  (what are the chances?)  So little Monkey is going to have to make the trek with us.  Which should be awkward to say the least but I am trying to stay positive about it.  *all smiles*

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29
Jan
10

Oh yeah? I got yer letters right here!! Dear So and So Letters of Intent

Dear So and So...

Letters of Intent

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Dear All Y’all Reading (thats you!)

Thank you.  I don’t say that enough.

Thank you,

Cass

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Dear Super Mario Bros for Wii,

Are you sending subliminal messages through your music?  Is this why I can’t put you down and pick up a vacuum?

My house is suffering,

Mama

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Dear Monkey,

For the love of Bob! Would you PLEASE.TAKE.A.NAP.ALREADY!  Why do you have to make Mama suffer this way?  The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you will be able to wake up and play with all your mess making toys!  See? Mama is looking out for herself cause she needs some down time YOU!

Love you baby, even though you are helping oil the gears in the machine mommy likes to call the LOONY BIN,

Mama

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Dear New Receptionist Bitch at my Therapists office,

Why must you be such an asshole?  Just because I am in therapy doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like I am a crazy.  Need I remind you that if it wasn’t for crazies like me, your ass wouldn’t have a job!

Kapeesh?

Signed,

The bitch who hung up on you yesterday because you couldn’t get your shitty attitude corrected long enough to get me an appointment

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Dear Hubby,

Please stop working so much.  There are only so many hours in the day.  Working and sleeping are the only two activities you do anymore.  We need you here.  Mama is about to have a breakdown.

Missing you and your naughty bedroom skeeels *wink*,

The Wife

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Dear Bi-Polar,

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

You’ll never win,

Me

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Dear Funky Weather,

You are mucho confusingo. Si?

Signed,

Frustrated Mama Lacking all Spanish knowledge

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Dear New Cores Skittles,

NomNomNom

Thank you,

My Mouth

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo
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26
Jan
10

Random Tuesday Loony Thoughts and Daily Photo Blog! (woot!)

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Those are two of my favorite pics ever!  Awesomesauce! 🙂

I know I just said yesterday that I wasn’t going to blog very often.  But after just one day of blogging, I feel so much better.  Even though I write about useless facts and boring bits of my life, I realized something really important yesterday.  Blogging for me is VERY therapeutic!  I don’t think I realized how much until yesterday.

Thank you for all the amazing comments yesterday and the emails.  It was so sweet to get such a response.  Makes me feel good J

Part of my bi polar and anxiety is that my brain works 1000 miles an hour.  So while I am trying to type this I am also singing the lyrics to the song that is playing (Kanye West’s Love Lockdown) in iTunes, and anticipating the song that is next (Tik Tok by Ke$ha), thinking about the insurance issue with the physiatrist that I was supposed to see tomorrow and how they don’t take my insurance all the sudden and how I am waiting on this new doctor that is supposed to call to find out if they can get me in or not and how I live in this tiny town with not the best mental support system, and how awesome my therapy session felt yesterday and how I am starting to wonder if there is another baby on the horizon for us at all and if I can even try and get pregnant again right now and how I forgot to put lotion on my left leg today and how it feels surprisingly more dry than the right leg now and how I am thirsty and am halfway done with my seltzer and how I need to give the dogs a bath and how my computer monitors are so dusty I could write my name on them and oh yeah the laundry is backed up and the baby is still tossing and turning in his bed even though he just needs to go to sleep already and how I really can’t stand the thought of having another fucking thought right now!

If you are one of the very lucky people who doesn’t have to live with mental disease in your life, let me share something with you that you may not know.  YOU ARE SO LUCKY!  And all of us with mental disorder are crazy jealous of you and kinda want to squish your heads when you walk by.  Just saying.

This is a delicate act.  Trying to balance sanity and a nervous need to go FUCKING CRAZY.

OMG, I LOVE this Tik Tok song!!!

The other day I asked Tank when he was going to quit smoking.  He said “I will quit smoking when you quit Starbucks” and I said “done!” and he TOTALLY didn’t hold up his end of the bargain.  So I am giving up and going back to Starbucks tomorrow.  So there.

I know the anticipation of quitting is making him smoke more.  So he comes home and a green cloud follows him around.  It’s awful.  I cannot for the life of me understand how I ever smoked!  It baffles my mind.

I am diving back into music lately.  I am totally in love to the strangest of songs.  But I can’t help it.  I keep sending my 15 year old niece text messages saying “who sings ___?” and she always replies back with “Lol.. its ___”  I know I am old and uncool but I can’t help drive down the street blaring Party in the USA by Miley Cyrus, from my Mommy Tahoe windows, who while I think is a mediocre singer at best, I still like a lot of her stuff!  And I am totally unashamed! Woot!

So who wants to go major grocery shopping for me?  Show of hands?  Anyone?

*sigh*

So in the middle of all this nonsensical madness going on right now, Monkey is trying to master the art of opening doors!  Which I assure you will drive me RIGHTOVERTHEEDGE!

Can’t he just sit still and stop getting into E V E R Y T H I N G????

He is a toddler you say?  Oh.

Ok there’s that.

*sigh*

Ok off to clean up and go shop.

Anyone have any FANTASTIC blogs that I should read that I missed.  I had to wipe the slate clean today and start fresh.  Just link me in the comments to anything that I wouldn’t want to miss.  Point me in the right direction!  Please!!

Happy Tuesday!!!  XOXO!!


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25
Jan
10

In other news…

Wow, it’s been a long time since I sat down to type a blog.  It’s been a long time since I sat down at the computer.  I just don’t seem to be feeling it lately.

Let’s see… what’s new with me…

Monkey is talking up a storm now.  So I don’t have to worry that he is going to fall behind and point and grunt baby babble for the rest of his life.  YAY!  Although, his new favorite word is NO, which sends me into a tail spin every time he screams it at me.  Some other new words include Hi and Bye, Up, Uh oh, Whoa, Cup, Cool which sounds like KOOOO, Elmo which sounds like MOMO, and my personal favorite… Shoe which he says like Shhheeeww.  And when we are in public he tells all strangers “MY MAMA!” and grabs my head and gives me a big kiss.  Apparently he doesn’t want any other random children to think they get to go home with me.

He sure makes getting out of bed each day so much more appealing.

We went to Denver for a visit.  I think I mentioned that last time.  It was madness.  The whole S.E.V.E.N.T.E.E.N days.  Yes, I went on vacation a trip ALONE… WITH A TODDLER for seventeen days almost a month!  Clearly this is reason enough to believe that I have completely lost my mind.

Seriously… it was fantastic to see everyone and I am so glad that I got to be home for a bit, but I will NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER do that shit again.  All I did was chase a toddler and scream “stop touching that!” every 2 seconds.  And as an added bonus I decided to give up ALL sleep (at Monkey’s request) and live on Starbucks and restaurant food for the whole trip.

But if that doesn’t have you completely convinced of my insanity, let me share a fun fact with you that I don’t think I have ever talked about on a blog before.  (Or maybe I did and just have no memory of it) Either way… guess what?  I am bi-polar.  Super for me right?  I know… you are SOOOO jealous right now.  Imagine how jealous your husband’s must be of my husband right now.  His life is just one continuous game of chance.  He never knows what card he will pick and when he will pick it.

So in the midst of my grand decision to travel to Denver with my almost two year old for seventeen days ALMOST SIX MONTHS and the fact that I have been unmedicated for the last few years… I pretty much started the decent into my breakdown.

Luckily, because this isn’t my first rodeo, I saw the signs and started to be proactive about my mental well being.  I am scheduled to see a psychiatrist Wednesday and am seeing my therapist more often than usual.  Today as a matter of fact.

And last week was the anniversary of my step dads passing, which is always a shitty time of year.  So I was going through that day thinking “I can make it, I can make it, I can make it”  And you would think that after 6 years, it would get easier, but take it from me… it doesn’t.

So I am more weepy, I am more moody, I have the attention span shorter than my pinky, my fuse is so short, all it takes is a sneeze from one of the dogs and I yell, and as seems to be true to form, I am neglecting a lot of things that I shouldn’t be.  Like my friends, my blog (which can stand to suffer), my family and mostly my housecleaning.  At this point, I just need to keep my head above water.

(Glad you asked?  Oh you didn’t ask?  Oh… whoopsie… sorry to have killed 30 precious moments of your life that you will never ever get back) lol

So I will try to write more, but I surely won’t be getting a blog out there every day.  I need to focus on some other things for a bit.  Like my new addiction of the Ellen Degeneres show.  She is HILAR!  And laughter IS the best medicine.

And a side note… If I didn’t see you while I was in Denver on my seventeen day YEAR LONG trip, then please accept my apologies.  I am hugely popular and have thousands upon thousands of friends there.  Oh ok… there’s just the two.  But anyhoo… If I didn’t see you while I was there, please don’t take it personal.  With my current sanity situation, or lack there of, TRUST ME, you didn’t want to see me.  I am not the awesome fun Cass that I usually am.  So… with that said… have a wonderful Monday.

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31
Dec
09

Bob Grant me the Serenity…

Lord have mercy, we travel to Colorado today.
First a 2 plus hour drive in the car from Texarkan-kiss-my-assa to Little Rock.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then wait to board a flight a couple hours later.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then fly to Houston in a plane with no jungle gym or balls or TV’s.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Where we then have a 2 hour and 5 minute layover.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then another flight to Denver. Again with no jungle gym or balls or TV’s with Yo Gabba Gabba screaming on them.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then FINALLY we land in Denver International Airport.  But that is just the beginning because by now it is after Monkey’s bedtime and he already skipped naps, because he refuses to sleep anywhere but in his bed.  And Mama is on the verge of a mental breakdown.  Then we have to wait for our luggage, which DIA typically unloads around 42.5 hours AFTER arrival, and then make the drive to my mothers house, an hour away. ON.NEW.YEARS.EVE.  With THE.CRAZIES.  Oh yeah.  The DRUNK crazies.  Should be fun.  So it will only take us 11 of our 16 day vacation to actually travel THERE.

Can you tell I really look forward to traveling?  Can you tell I am still a total grouch puss and NOBODY, not even ME wants to be around me right now? Can you tell that the next time we speak, I MAY be in a padded cell?

So I pray…

Bob grant me the serenity to not kill any fellow travelers when they take up too much arm room on the plane, fail to look where they are going while walking through the airport, or fall asleep in the aisle seat when I have a poopy toddler sitting on my very full bladder.  And accept the things I cannot change, like… everyone else can suck my big toe cause I am having a shitty day and am STRESSSSSSSING out about traveling.

Maybe I should just call the fellows in the white coats to come pick me up now.

*sigh*

Pray for me too, k y’all?

Oh and I almost forgot… HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!


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30
Dec
09

A Pity Party and a Picture

Soooo, a friend of mine is finding out the sex of her baby today.  She is pregnant.  We were due the same time.  Then I of course lost the pregnancy and she is still pregnant.  I am so happy for her but so totally bummed that I am no longer pregnant.  I am trying to stay positive and hopeful for when we do get pregnant but I can’t help but feel the sting a little.

I have to finish packing.  Our Big Adventure begins tomorrow!  I am trying to pretend I don’t notice the fact that Monkey is trying to make me CRrrrRAaaaaAAZZZzzzYYYyyY with his insensate NON.STOP.WHINING!  PMS and non stop whining?  Recipe for disaster.

Or recipe for earth shattering M.I.G.R.A.I.N.E. that I had to not only endure in torturing pain last night but then I had to go and force Hubby to leave work early and come home so that I could let him endure it as well.

These are the times Tequila Shots are made of.

As promised, a pic…

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29
Dec
09

PMS is a bitch Random TT and Daily Photo

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

My little brother is mortified that I call Monkey, Monkey and insists that I stop calling him that ASAP because he feels I am going to do him severe emotional harm if I don’t.  Being the stubborn bitch that I am, I insist that Monkey is a totally rad nickname and I’m quite positive that if I was a 16 year old teenage boy, I would like nothing more than to be called Monkey by my adoring family and friends.  Right?  I know Hubby LOVES it when I call him Tank.  Which, mind you, was the nickname he chose from a list requested.  So I see no harm in Monkey staying Monkey.  And Tank staying Tank.

Speaking of Tank, everyone has been asking what tattoo I got.  So, because I know you have all been losing sleep with anticipation and curiosity…

Hubby and I got our wedding band tattoos on Saturday for our six year anniversary.

We got married the day after Christmas in 2003 in a courthouse in Castle Rock Colorado.  It was the perfect day.  We had a big wedding the following September with family and friends, but on 12.26.03 it was ALL about us.  Nobody to please.  Just us.

So to mark the occasion, we each had the others name tattooed on our wedding ring finger.  I will have to check with Hubby to see if he is comfortable with his name being outed because as you may have noticed, I only refer to him as Hubby and (as of today) Tank.  So you may or may not get to see the pics of that.

We are supposed to get snow today.  Like an inch of it.  I cannot wait! I miss snow.

I am hoping I will get to see some of the puffy white goodness when we get to COLORADO! Which, in case you missed it, we will be arriving in the GORGEOUS state of perfection on Thursday, WOOT!  Talk about the AWESOMEST way to start off 2010!

Everyone wants to see us when we get there, but I will only have 16 days.  And trying to see 23984103298741 friends and family members in that amount of time is really difficult.  Which means that no matter what, people always get their feelings hurt because I simply cannot make time for it all.  I hate it but it’s part of not living there.  *sigh*

I am trying to catch up on some TV before we leave so that my DVR doesn’t pack up and leave me for overloading it while I’m gone.  But it’s not easy trying to watch my shows, do laundry, clean the house, chase a toddler, pack for our trip, write a blog *ahem*, and all the other countless things I am trying to do at once.  Which while it isn’t new, it is irritating.

Oh and in case you didn’t notice, which you probably didn’t but TRUST me, poor Hubby HAS, I have PMS.  Yes like SEVERE I want to rip the heads off of helpless bystanders PMS.  If I don’t get aunt flow seriously soon, I can’t be held accountable for what I may do.

Here is my Daily Photos for today…

The dryer beeped, thus ending our conversation together.  It was fantastic, but honestly, it did feel a little one sided anyway.  I’m afraid I didn’t get you get a word in edgewise.  So have a fanfriggintastic Tuesday, nnkay?

Smootchies!

What is random about your day?


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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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tweeeet:

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my validation!

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