Archive for the 'Ranting' Category

29
Jan
10

Oh yeah? I got yer letters right here!! Dear So and So Letters of Intent

Dear So and So...

Letters of Intent

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Dear All Y’all Reading (thats you!)

Thank you.  I don’t say that enough.

Thank you,

Cass

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Dear Super Mario Bros for Wii,

Are you sending subliminal messages through your music?  Is this why I can’t put you down and pick up a vacuum?

My house is suffering,

Mama

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Dear Monkey,

For the love of Bob! Would you PLEASE.TAKE.A.NAP.ALREADY!  Why do you have to make Mama suffer this way?  The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you will be able to wake up and play with all your mess making toys!  See? Mama is looking out for herself cause she needs some down time YOU!

Love you baby, even though you are helping oil the gears in the machine mommy likes to call the LOONY BIN,

Mama

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Dear New Receptionist Bitch at my Therapists office,

Why must you be such an asshole?  Just because I am in therapy doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like I am a crazy.  Need I remind you that if it wasn’t for crazies like me, your ass wouldn’t have a job!

Kapeesh?

Signed,

The bitch who hung up on you yesterday because you couldn’t get your shitty attitude corrected long enough to get me an appointment

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Dear Hubby,

Please stop working so much.  There are only so many hours in the day.  Working and sleeping are the only two activities you do anymore.  We need you here.  Mama is about to have a breakdown.

Missing you and your naughty bedroom skeeels *wink*,

The Wife

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Dear Bi-Polar,

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

You’ll never win,

Me

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Dear Funky Weather,

You are mucho confusingo. Si?

Signed,

Frustrated Mama Lacking all Spanish knowledge

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Dear New Cores Skittles,

NomNomNom

Thank you,

My Mouth

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo
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31
Dec
09

Bob Grant me the Serenity…

Lord have mercy, we travel to Colorado today.
First a 2 plus hour drive in the car from Texarkan-kiss-my-assa to Little Rock.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then wait to board a flight a couple hours later.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then fly to Houston in a plane with no jungle gym or balls or TV’s.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Where we then have a 2 hour and 5 minute layover.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then another flight to Denver. Again with no jungle gym or balls or TV’s with Yo Gabba Gabba screaming on them.  With an impatient toddler and an impatient Mama.  Then FINALLY we land in Denver International Airport.  But that is just the beginning because by now it is after Monkey’s bedtime and he already skipped naps, because he refuses to sleep anywhere but in his bed.  And Mama is on the verge of a mental breakdown.  Then we have to wait for our luggage, which DIA typically unloads around 42.5 hours AFTER arrival, and then make the drive to my mothers house, an hour away. ON.NEW.YEARS.EVE.  With THE.CRAZIES.  Oh yeah.  The DRUNK crazies.  Should be fun.  So it will only take us 11 of our 16 day vacation to actually travel THERE.

Can you tell I really look forward to traveling?  Can you tell I am still a total grouch puss and NOBODY, not even ME wants to be around me right now? Can you tell that the next time we speak, I MAY be in a padded cell?

So I pray…

Bob grant me the serenity to not kill any fellow travelers when they take up too much arm room on the plane, fail to look where they are going while walking through the airport, or fall asleep in the aisle seat when I have a poopy toddler sitting on my very full bladder.  And accept the things I cannot change, like… everyone else can suck my big toe cause I am having a shitty day and am STRESSSSSSSING out about traveling.

Maybe I should just call the fellows in the white coats to come pick me up now.

*sigh*

Pray for me too, k y’all?

Oh and I almost forgot… HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!


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22
Dec
09

A Flaming Dog Poo Random Tuesday Thoughts

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If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Random? Ready? Are you sure? Ok.. you were warned.  Buckle up…

My ants are back in my house.  Those pest control people are totally going to be like “WTF? Why did some crazy lady just teepee and egg our house??  Oh and was she the same disgruntled customer that left the flaming dog poo on our door step??”


Not to mention I have killed TWO spiders in the last week!  TWO.GODDAMN.EIGHT.LEGGED.FREAKS.

*shudder*

Yet another reason I want to go home.  Colorado doesn’t have NEARLY as many weird creepy crawlies.

I am totally addicted to that new song by Rihanna, Russian Roulette.

When I was searching for this song for y’all on YouTube, I was able to watch the video for the first time.  Which I must say was AWESOMESAUCE.  Mostly because Jesse Williams is in it, but also cause it rocks.

**Sidenote: I really hate his character on Grey’s Anatomy, but I have hopes he will come around.  And no matter what I just want to stare and ogle him.  OOOOGLE.

See?

mmmmmmm!

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And lets face it… Rihanna is quite the hottie to look at too.  Whether you swing that way or not, you HAVE to admit, she is HAWT!

*Nod*

I won the “Lemonade Award” from Mama4Real and while I am not totally sure what it means, when have I ever turned down the ability to say I won something???

Shut up.

So I am supposed to list 5 things about myself and then award 5 other people. Again, I am not really sure what I am awarding them.  I guess just the fantastic awesome ability to list 5 random facts about themselves on their blogs?  And since I love random, I am SO in!

*Sidenote: I am not sure if random really applied to this award, I think I added it as a marketing strategy all by myself cause I am an amazing business chick lady woman. –Copywrite of this random sidenote belongs to the ever famous Big Mama Cass Incorporated Company Group Industries Awesome Random Weirdness Inc. Co.

*grin*

To my 5 random facts are:

1.  I am addicted to Starbucks.  You may have heard me mention that here or here or possible here, maybe here or even here. I will be proud to mention again that if there is indeed a 12 Step Starbucks Program, sign me up.

2.  I hate bugs.  I’m not going to list all of those blogs cause SURELY you know by now.  And I will be here all night.  Which leads me to my next point…

3.  I am VERY impatient.  Shocker, I know.  Which leads to my next…

4.  I have a bit of an anger problem.  This is mostly just a problem when I am forced to deal with morons.  People like the drivers in Texarkana who have NO idea what a YIELD sign means.  They must not teach that here.  Because I have been about CREAMED exiting the highway EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. trying the head to Starbucks feed the homeless.  So I can’t help but lay on the horn and scream obscenities and show them my impression of a BIRD.  It’s totally bad, I know that.  But I do it.  *sigh*

5.  I have an abnormal love for animals.  Well, I don’t think it’s abnormal, but everyone else thinks I am KA-Razy.  But I LOVE all animals.  They are just like you and me.  And so when these two…

…showed up at my house wanting food and cuddles, I was totally ready to give in.  And Hubby refused and I called him heartless, which I will never take back.  Because he is clearly evil for not wanting them to crawl into his lap so he could scratch them behind their ears.

So then because of DR EVIL refusing me to be Schnauzer Savior of the Year,  I had to call Animal Control to get them picked up and home to their families.  Which he was sure to point out that the clearly had cause of those collars and stuff.

But whatever!  I still say they wanted to live with me!  *pout*

Even Daisy was being friendly.

Good lord, look how long her nails are.  Time for a Mani/Pedi.

It could be true love!  And now we will never know…

See?  I should have totally given in and let them both in.  They were boys too.  A perfect balance for the girls.

I am going to pout about this for at least another 10 minutes 2 weeks!

Thank you Mama4Real!

Now the 5 people I give this award to are MommaPixie, Oscarelli, Pulsipher Predilections, Take Me As I Am, and of course no award can go out on my blog without one awarded to my sister from another mister… *cue drum roll* Jill Pilgrim of The Pilgrim Congress!

These are blogs I never miss, even though I may be lacking in the comment department, I am always sure to read.  Please check them out if you haven’t already.

This concludes this test of the emergency broadcast system.

Thank you.

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09
Nov
09

ANT you glad you asked? a little rANT

Sooo… How are you?  Good, good.  Oh, how am I?  I am peeved.  Wanna know why?  Ok but only cause you asked…

I don’t know what it is about my house!  But bugs frickin love it! And apparently they are telling their friends.  Bitches.

So, I have ants.  IN.MY.KITCHEN!!!!

It all started about a week ago.  I was doing dishes.  And just as I was about to flip the disposal switch, which is precariously located right next to my kitchen window, I noticed an interesting array of tiny black dots.  With an even more curious line black line leading from the switch to the kitchen window.

“What the… OH MY NASTYNESS!  It’s ants!”

And they were all gathered on the light switch, which means that someone, (and I am not pointing fingers, because well let’s face it, it might have been me) touched the light switch plate with food or sweet “stuff” on their fingers.

So I rush to clean them all up with a Clorox wipey…   *shudder* and dial the new found exterminator at the same time.  What? I multitask.

Anyhoo… the Bug Kill Owner Guy  answers on the first ring* and I tell him my sob story of the ants and how it’s only been 2 days since they were there to spray my house and how I cannot LIVE in these conditions and that the house might as well be condemned and, and, and …. Well maybe I just hinted at all of that.  But seriously?  He tells me that he can’t come by today and feeds me some line about it being his daughter’s wedding or some crap and I’m all “but there’s ANTS everywhere!!! They are taking over my kitchen, you have to come now!!” And he says they will be by on TUESDAY because Monday they won’t be in town because of this big wedding.  Who is this girl, the Queen or something?!?  JEEEZ!

*in my defense, I didn’t know I was calling his cell phone… that was the only number they gave me to call. although I totally would have called the cell number if they had given it to me…  cause seriously when I dialed, I was waiting for the operator to ask me if i had an emergency and needed to have Dr Bug Killer paged, to which I TOTALLY would have said HELL YES!

Clearly he failed to see the importance of my MONUMENTAL ANT PROBLEM.  And so he suggested I use Formula 409 and clean my house ”really good” and I am all “but I am clean, and umm…they are still here” and he insists that my house has to be “thoroughly cleaned” and so then I start to take a tiny bit offense.  But instead of reaching through the phone and smacking the crap outta this dude for suggesting I am anything but the neat freak *cough* that I am, I am nice.  Why?  Well because for one I just paid these dudes 70 smackers to spray my house to kill ALL bugs and two, the only other exterminator in town still hasn’t returned my call from like 3 weeks ago. GRR!  So, I have to deal.

So Sunday, I use Clorox to scrub the whole kitchen.  Even in the cupboards because it seems that they have started to crawl their little nasty butts into the cabinet closest to the window.  I take everything out of the cupboard and run it thru the dishwasher and then store it neatly on the counter furthest from the ants.  Because as luck would have it NOT! that is the cabinet that we keep all of Monkey’s dishes in.  Sippy cups, plates, forks and what have yous.

Then Tuesday morning, they come over and put down all this stuff outside of all the windows to “lure” the ants out.  They are supposed to eat this crap and then die.  Whatever.  But they never come into the house to spray anything.  And he tells me that they do this because if they spray then the ants will send out “panic alerts” (his words not mine) to tell the other ants to “abort” and move elsewhere.  He says this will cause them to just up and move.  Like to my bathroom.  Fuckers.  Gah!

So Wednesday, I still have ants and I call because I am like “what the hell man!?” and Bug Killer Owner Guy tells me that it could take up to two frickin weeks to work!! And then I kinda suggest that perhaps the ants are there because of something they did and how it’s weird that they showed up after they spray my house and this guy is all “Ohhh no!  We don’t want to bring bugs in Maaaaaa’aaaaam” (He seriously drew out ma’am for like 10 seconds like that too) and so now I think I pissed him off.  *sigh*

In all honesty, there have been maybe 50 ants.  I spot 10 here or 5 there.  But where there is one there is thousands, right?? And it has been 3 days and I still have them!!! It’s sooooo nasty!!  I hate it!

Bug Killer Owner Guy made me promise I wouldn’t use bug spray inside the house.  He swears that is the worst thing to do.  But I have about had it up to here!!!

Yes, that was seriously a whole blog about ants.  If you made it the whole way, I applaud you.  I probably wouldn’t have.  LOL

 

What is your take on it?  Do you think I should jump ship and buy some bug spray?!!


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03
Nov
09

“Poor Little Bunneh” Random Tuesday Thoughts

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Well, bad news.  My brain is on sabbatical… again.  Even though the last time I demanded requested that it not take vacation without written consent.  This is getting to be too much.  If this keeps up, I am going to have to give it the pink slip and put an ad in the paper.  *sigh*

It’s like it doesn’t even care about being a team player.  This is not the kind of show I am running here.  *humph*

Actually I think I may know why it up and skipped out on me.

It could be the cold medicine.  I want to leave my body too.

So clearly I am now sick. I am actually taking a quick break from sleeping all day to post this FANTASTIC little blog.  Because I am hopelessly addicted to blogging I missed y’all so much. 😉

So yes the hubby got me sick.  *pout*

This is what it is like for me to be sick vs. when Hubby gets sick.

Just sayin.

LOL

I am going to go lay back down and hope that Hubby comes in and rubs my head to say “poor little bunneh”

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!

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20
Oct
09

Exterminator Fail Random Thoughts Tuesday

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

So remember my spider problem?  And I told you that my uber cool bug dude, Danny, was going to be here Monday to slay the bugs?  Ok maybe I didn’t say it exactly like that.  But regardless, he is NOT uber cool!

I have had some issues with Danny in the past getting here and returning my calls and what not.  He is a young guy and so when he is here we are chatty and stuff.  And he is comfortable with me.  Apparently, he is too comfortable.  Because he started to take for granted the fact that I was so “nice” and just put me on the back burner.  However, I am not the back burner type.  Why, just last night my husband said I was “Very demanding.” And I am.  But that’s me.

But when he didn’t show up yesterday and didn’t return my THREE phone calls, then I knew enough was enough.

So I called and got a NEW exterminator scheduled for this week.  And they sound NICE!  And I told the guy, who was also the owner, that I want return calls if I leave a message and that if I have an appointment I need them to be on time and that I will be happy to take my business elsewhere if he cannot meet those very basic needs.  And do you know his response?  “Wow! Well don’t you worry little lady, customer service is our number one priority!”

How cute is that!??!  So yay!!  Dead bugs scheduled for 14 hundred hours Thursday.  Over.

This morning I woke up with like CRAZY cleaning fever.  I started cleaning everything I could get my hands on.  And not just basic cleaning, I mean like DEEP down get every dust spec with a microscope deep cleaning.  Which if you know me, you know this isn’t a daily occurrence for me.  I am a clean person and I like a clean house.  But my drive to concur that goal on a daily basis?  Not so much.

So today, I will clean until my arms say no more or until I get bored.  🙂

Sheesh, I really need to pick up my game!! I am boring you to tears, I just know it!  Hell, I am boring myself to tears!

Ack!

What is a random fun fact about yourself.  Tell me something that I don’t know about you.

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14
Oct
09

Random Tues… err Wednesday Thoughts!

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Happy Wednesday!!!  Somehow I must have screwed up and not posted my blog on Tuesday so today we will just pretend it is Random Thoughts WEDNESDAY!! LOL  Wondered why I wasn’t getting any readers.  *shrug*

….

I guess yesterday was pretty random but why not be random again 🙂  I am a random gal so it works for me!

It has been POURING here.  I am sooooo loving the cooler temps!!  The rain doesn’t even bother me too much because of the low temperature, BUT… the backyard looks like a swamp.  This means LOTS of mud.  Mud that attaches itself like friggin glue to my girl’s feet.  And while I know it isn’t their fault, seriously… I am sick of bathing dogs!  Ugh.  But I have to.  Would you want this running thru your house?

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This was taken a last year, but Daisy didn’t look much different today.

….

So in the lovely world that is my infertility disease, I am not only unable to ovulate, PCOS also brings me all sorts of other fun things.

For example, women with PCOS typically are heavy.  Or, obese, as more than one doctor has called me.  That is sexy.  But I love to eat so it is what it is.  I try to embrace it.  Some days are better than others.

Also… I have a beard.  Yup, you read that right.  I have facial hair.  Ok, maybe it isn’t a *full* beard, but I sometimes wonder if I stopped waxing and plucking if in fact I could grow out my goatee and braid it like Jack Sparrow.

mama-sparrowSexy right?  (clearly i suck at photoshop lol)

Having more hair on my face is due to me having a high amount of testosterone.  You know what testosterone does to men right?  Yup you guessed it!  So with my manly testosterone levels,  my sex drive is that of a 16 year old boy.

So high testosterone, extra weight and a beard makes me…. a fat hairy hornball.  Hawt!

Poor Hubby.  Thank god love is blind, right? lol

….

I need to get more into my photography.  I really miss it and yet each night I lay down in bed and realize yet another day has passed where I did nothing with it.  Even hubby is going through withdrawals and asking for new photos.

Tomorrow will be the day.  *sigh*

….

I don’t like how sometimes when you leave a comment on someone’s blog, you never get a reply or anything.  What if I ask a question?  I may sometimes be a bit late to reply to my commenter’s but I ALWAYS leave a reply.

Is it just me? I am just being a whiner about this?

….

A conversation that happened the other day while Hubby and I are watching TV:

Hubby: Look babe, this is you.

Me: What?

Hubby: Here let me rewind… watch this.

Hubby:  HAHAHAHAHA

Me:  Your point?

Hubby:  He was going to play tennis!!

Me:  I still don’t see the problem.

Hubby:  You know… cause you are so overprotective of Monkey?

Me:  Yah.  So?

Hehehe 🙂  So I am protective.  This isn’t news.  Really.

Poor Monkey.


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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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tweeeet:

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my validation!

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