Archive for December, 2008



My son refuses to sleep.  He is officially trying to push me over the edge.  This is my assessment.

This happens every time we go out of town to visit family.  He gets his schedule all off and thus completely ruins any hope I have of sleep for months.  The problem begins with just the onset of travel.  But it gets even more fun when he wakes up in the middle of our fist night away in a strange place wanting his Mama that I gladly give in to ease his discomfort and try desperately not to let him wake up everyone else in the sleeping house.  Then the cycle begins.  He wakes, I pick him up and hold him close.  Then when my body is screaming at me begging me to sleep, I even start to just allow him to lay in bed with me and sleep.  While I know full well this is going to be a path I SHOULD NOT go down, I go… full steam ahead… to ease my need for sleep.  Then the proverbial “snowball effect”.  He wakes, I get him, into bed with me he goes, I try to put him back into his pack and play because I can’t sleep a wink when he is in bed with me, he screams, I give in and put him back into bed with me and so on and so on.

Fast forward to now.  Night number two at home in our own beds fresh from Pittsburgh.  Night number two of fits of screaming and shaking at Mommy’s insistance to stay in his own bed.  OhMaGodOhMaGodOhMaGoddddddddd!!!  Will this child EVER go to sleep??

Yes, he is asleep now, after just 2 hours of screaming and my ears will NEVER be the same.  Although I seriously didn’t think we would get there.  And now I am WIDE AWAKE.  ugh.

I don’t do the “cry it out” method either.  We have been doing the Baby Whisperer techniques.  He screams, I hold him, place him in bed, as soon as he cries, pick him up sooth him, put him back, he screams, i pick him up, sooth him, back to bed, yada yada yada… you get the idea.  This goes on like this FOREVVVVVER!!  And after 2 hours and he is finally worn out, not to mention ME completely toast, he goes to sleep.

This is the method we use every time we return from a trip.  By the end of it all I have aged years, and the have the grays to prove it.  It takes a few days but we get back on track and then he sleeps like a champ.  (well most of the time.)

Cue the monkey wrench!!

We have friends coming to visit tomorrow.  They will be staying through the weekend.  While I love their visits, (fully admitting that their children make corporal punishment forefront and very enticing in my mind), I am stressed about their arrival.  The way my house is structured, the bedroom they will be staying in with their two boys is next door to Jimmy’s room.  With his nightly wakings, I am afraid I will fall back into “traveling habits” and thus extending the time it takes me to get him back on track.  I know this will happen because I won’t want to wake them up while I deal with the two hour fiasco of screaming.  Then I will remain exhausted their entire trip, including New Years Eve (yay!) and be thinking of nothing more than please god make them go so I can get this kid to sleep normal!! and that just isn’t fair to any of us.

I seriously have no idea what to do.  If I put him into my room with me in a pack and play, he will do the same thing.  Plus then I have to keep him from waking his Dad because he has to work in the morning.  Don’t even get me started on that drama right now.

When is it that I get to just have one night to sleep and actually ENJOY that sleep?!?!


Eviction and hardship

I was driving home from shopping today, truck full of new toys, foods and clothes bought with the generous gift cards given by family and friends.  I was smiling listening to my son watch his movie on his DVD player.  It was then that I saw the most horrible thing.  I passed a home that was what I can only guess was in the process of eviction.  There were four men in gloves standing by this large mound by the curb.  I can only guess they had just finished carrying this family’s home out to place it there.  There sat a huge pile.  In it a tipped Christmas tree, bags of clothes and personal belongings, a couch, a dresser, different furniture, and boxes of odds and ends.  It was then that my breath caught even tighter in my throat.  There sat what looked like a fairly new bassinet draped in soft pink ruffles with this tiny pink and white knitted blanket.  The men who stood there didn’t appear to enjoy their break from the heavy lifting or even talk amongst themselves in conversation.  They each just stood there staring into the pile.  It was the most heartbreaking scene.  All I could do was say a silent prayer for this family and their new baby and hope they are able to heal from this ordeal soon.

Seeing something so sad makes me realize that while sometimes I complain about not having enough money or wanting this or that, my family is so very blessed.  We are so lucky to have each other, and our health and even all of the material things in our life.  My husband and I each have a nice car, we have a roof over our heads, that while is rented and temporary, is very much our beautiful home.  We have food in our bellies and more possessions than we need.   We are happy and we are comfortable.  I wish I could say that for everyone today.



Be honest… does my butt look big?

While poking around online, I came across this story.  When I saw the picture, it made me laugh so had that I just HAD to share it. Click here to read the story of Paula and her mother Kathi. Paula was born 21 days ago and is doing great! She is the first hippo cub born in the Berlin Zoo in 3 years.


Little Paula follows her massive mother Kathi around the pool at Berlin Zoo

Is this what people see when they follow Jimmy and I around a store?  HAHA!  Just kidding.  Sure made me laugh though!


Internet Love

If you had asked me 10 or 15 years ago whether or not a person could fall in love with someone they had only talked to… but never met in person, I would have said that was crazy!!

However, with the dawn of the internet age, it happens every day.  And I am not just talking about falling in love with a “mate”, I am talking about falling in love with people.  Just people whom you are lucky enough to call your friends.  It is an interesting thing to me that people whom you have never met (in person) can be so dear to you.  I have met so many people online that while I have never and may never meet them in person, I feel I have known some of them for years.  And some of them I have!  haha!  I can see their faces when they talk.  I can hear their voices.  Even if only because I am reading words they have typed on my computer screen.

They mean various things to me.  Many of them I have grown to love.  Not in an intimate or sexual, lets get married and have babies way, but in an all out I trust you, you are a fabulous, caring, there when I need you kind of friend way.  That to me is, for lack of a better word at the moment… AWESOME! Now don’t get me wrong, I have for sure found people that I would rather not know, but I guess that is bound to happen no matter where you are.  Internet or not.

I am so blessed to have such great friends in my life.  Being in Arkansas right now and away from all of my family and friends is very difficult.  If it weren’t for the internet, instant messaging and webcams, phones and text messaging (oh lord that is a whole ‘nother blog) then I would go crazy in this state!  But now I even have a slew of friends that I have met online.  Some of them I have even met in person.  Some of them I have even traveled to, to meet in person. They are amazing people!  ALL of my friends are amazing.  I am so lucky.

I used to be embarrassed about the time I spent on the internet with people I had never met face to face.  When we were in Wisconsin, I would sit overlooking the lake and play internet poker, drink beer and laugh my ass off conversing with dozens of faces I was never to see!  I would listen to my iPod at dangerous levels, many times till the wee hours of the morning!  And I had a BLAST!  And the funny thing is, I really do reflect on that time and wonder how those friends that I made at the time are doing.  I wonder if they still play online poker.  Do they still giggle at the same silly jokes that we used to?  Is that weird?  I once thought it could be, but not any more.  If you think about it, MySpace, Facebook, blogging… they are all pretty much the same thing.  Connecting people via the internet for entertainment.  We all do it.  Maybe in different ways, but we all do it.

So I feel better knowing that I am not weird.  And take pride in knowing that I have made some fantastic friends over the years.  I love that part about my life.  I didn’t even realize until recently that it was ok to be happy about that part of my life.  And that I can actually call it part of my life.  Because it is.  A big part.  And it totally rocks.  🙂

Anyone want to share any stories about their internet experiences?


oh the pressure!!

ok so the pressure of my first post is nutty! i don’t know why i am letting myself get worked up over it. CLEARLY nobody but me will be reading this. so shit Cass, back off yourself woman! he-he write what you feel…. ok then… here goes

so i am awake and writing this because i can’t sleep. sometimes my mind refuses to relax and let me sleep and just decides to go 1,923,854,019,857 miles per hour. needless to say… it makes my sleep vanish. i sometimes wonder if it will just explode from overuse. just like an overheated old truck engine. who knows. guess time will tell.

the baby is sleeping soundly in his crib, with a soft snore. it’s so cute, i could cry. i wish he would get to feeling better soon and get over this terrible cold. i wish I would get over this cold soon and get to feeling better. now darling hubby is sick too. super.

we are trying to have another baby. it took us 5 years to make my perfect son and now 7 months into trying for baby number 2, i am already starting to debate throwing in the towel. hubby thinks i am becoming obsessed. maybe i am. i like to think of it more as focused. anyone with PCOS can agree that what i am feeling and going through isn’t that far fetched.

i think i am going to like keeping this journal of sorts. cool cool

that wasn’t too lame for a first attempt at myspace blog freedom… me likey!



HE WALKS!!! **video blog**

This blog was originally posted on MySpace.


Bye Bye So Long…mmhmm hmm hmm mmhmmm….

This blog was originally posted on MySpace.

and then I totally forgot how the rest of the song goes… hahaha

Well not sure if anyone reads my blogs anymore, but if so, I have moved them… I am going to be posting on WordPress from now on.  So if you are interested, take a peek over at

My first post was early today…. Oh the pressure!!.  For a first post, it’s totally lame, but I hope I get some readers.  I will keep pestering.  And by pestering, I mean posting blogs on myspace to tell you about the blogs on wordpress.  haha  What can I say?  I am a sucker for a comment 

I will be posting more going forward.  Fantastic fun facts about chasing after a nutty 10 month old, living in ARKANSAS   , preparing for a move back to Colorado (woooohooooo!!) in the next couple months , going to spend my sons first Christmas in the “Burgh” with my in-laws, trying to get pregnant again (shhhhh, don’t tell ), my wild and obese two fur babies,  not to mention all of the fun that is my day to day.  I am sure there will be plenty more “fun” to talk about.  I hope you visit.

Act now!  First 10 callers receive a free toaster!

See how weird I am?   You wouldn’t want to miss out on all THAT now would you?    LOL

coming up in my next blog…. the story of the missing 10 toasters! 


about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


my photography page:


my validation!