Posts Tagged ‘chapstick


Rainy Irritable Dear So and So Friday

Dear So and So...


sexy fire manYes, we all remember the fireman. 🙂

Dear Fireman J from yesterdays post,

Since I haven’t heard from you in (calculating in my head) ummm… years.  I completely forgot that you were on my Yahoo messenger list.  Which I have had since… forget it… a LONG time.  Anyhoo… you can imagine my complete and utter shock when I got your message on Yahoo yesterday.   Seems that your ears must have been burning.  While I did resist the urge to tell you how weird it was hearing from you because I had just posted a blog about your tiny penis it was hard for me to mask my shock.

You didn’t have much to say other than hello and to tell me that you are married now (I hope she has a fondness for Chapstick) and that you are both expecting your first baby next month, a girl.  Congratulations.  I actually think you will make a fantastic father.

Anyway, it was just totally beyond weird to hear from you COMPLETELY out of the blue.  I have been watching the heavens for lightening ever since for fear I am in big trouble with the dude (or chick) upstairs.  Am I am in trouble for flaunting your wee manhood in front of the world?  Or at least for flaunting in it front of all 69 of my readers? Ok totally going to hell for that.

Good luck to you J.


Ps. If you ever read this, I am totally talking about another J that I dated that was a fireman.  Totally.  It isn’t you.  He just happened to use the same Chapstick line.  But I hear a lot of guys use that line, so it totally wasn’t you I was referring.  🙂


200236712-001THIS is how hard it’s been raining.

Dear Rain,

You SUCK!  You suck you suck you suck you suck!



Dear DVR,

No Mama has not abandoned you.  I promise to return soon and to soak up your love and flood you with kisses.  If it wasn’t for you, Mama couldn’t make it through this week at all knowing all of my shows were being saved in your perfect black little body.  I promise this won’t last much longer.

Forever devoted,



Dear Cass,

WTF where you thinking!?!?!  NO TV THIS WEEK!?!?  Do you not see the raining and the flooding outside?? Are you not catching onto the fact that both you and Monkey have *mad* cabin fever?  You need to seriously weigh your options here before you end up in a padded cell.

Just sayin,




Dear Patio Furniture,

I am so sorry this is your life right now.  Your feet must be so pickled.  I would let you come in but… well you’re patio furniture.  Sorry.




Dear Captcha Lovers,

Can you please give me one good reason why you REALLY need this on your blogs?  I am seriously having issues with my computer wanting to boycott them right now.  One major issue is that whenever I hit “Send” on my message in a hurry to get to the next blog, I click X and just as I see the captcha appear, the blog closes.  I have NO interest in going and finding your blog again and retyping my whole comment again so usually then you just get a simple comment like “cool” because I am so irked that I had to come back to play a game of captcha ball in the first place that I don’t even care if I have left a suitable comment.  (Yes that sentence was all one breath) And lately, I am getting to the point where I am seriously considering not commenting on them at all.  Cause I feel so irritable about it.  Does that make me a total bitch?

So I am asking, in all fairness… PLEASE… if you have a captcha… PLEASE… explain why.  I wanna know.  I really, really want to know.  Change my mind on it.  Kay?

Thanks much,

Big Mama Cass


stop it

Dear Monkey,

Why must you open and close the same door 9 BILLION (yes with a B) times even after I have asked you 9 B I L L I O N times to stop??  And why must you continue to SLAM it into my wall whenever you swing it open.  The hole in Mommy’s wall will thank you to STOP IT.  Nnnkay?

While we are on the subject, why do you continue to scale every single piece of furniture??  You have the speed of a stealth bomber!  I blink and you are on top of the table holding the lamp!  STOP IT!

Please, please STOP IT before you give Mommy a heart attack.




Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by… again!



The Bee’s Knees Sexy Sweet Nothings TMI Thursday

TMI Thursday
***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!

Well this would be my first TMI Thursday write ever.  I have been told that I should do this and week after week I rack my brain for something about poo or vagina’s to write about and I come up empty.

My Gram and I were on the phone for FOUR hours after she left the other day and we were sharing stories about relationships.  It was then that my first TMI story revealed itself to me.

Hope it’s all you ever hoped for Courtni! 🙂

I once dated a fireman.  We will call him J.  J was HOT.  I wish I had a picture because he so yummy!  He had a killer body and a nice chiseled face.  Blond hair, blue eyes.  He always looked like he just hopped off a surfboard.

sexy fire man

Pretty much the same bod, yup. *nod*

Very Fireman-esque.  I had more than one friend that was hot for his bod as soon as they met him.  ESPECIALLY after they found out he was a fireman.   Something about a uniform.  Don’t ask me cause I am guilty too.  Something about uniforms and/or suits.  As a matter of fact, throw Hubby into a suit and I am putty in his hands!

20040905-3538See?? Putty I tell ya.

Seriously.  But I digress…

J and I barely dated, so I use that term loosely.  But while I was still with my ex, who we will call Satan, I started working with J.  He was the maintenance man in the building I worked at.  He did that part time.  (Apparently being a fireman isn’t the paying gig that one might think it should be.)

Anyhoo… after I left Satan, J offered to help me move out. What a guy! *(I barely took anything when I left so it was a relatively easy move.)  But after he so nicely assisted me, we began to hang out more.  And when I say dated is a loose term, I mean he never took me anywhere except to Target once to help him shop.  I KNOW!  Lol

However, he started coming around more and I thought… I have never been a promiscuous person, but I just ended a 10 year nightmare relationship.  And this guy was HOT.  So I figured since the making out was so good (and it was)… why not? *grin*

So lemme set the scene for you.

We are making out on my couch.  The heavy petting kind of making out.  And I am thinkingYAY!! This is going to be awesome!!” He is breathing heavy, I am breathing heavy.  We are both still fully clothed, but things are heating up so I expect that will change any minute.

And then while nibbling on my ear, he whispers something that no man has ever said to me before.

J:  “Do you feel that baby?….” long pause… more excited noises “….That is my Chapstick tube”



Me:  “umm, whaaaat?”

J: “I said do you feel that?  That is my Chapstick tube”

WTF did he just say?!?!!!


Me: “umm… listen, I don’t think this is going to work for me.”

Talk about a MOOD KILLER!!  After that I made him leave.  I just thought, “WTF was *I* thinking!??!”

And I never heard from him again.  Ever.  LOL  He didn’t call or write or anything.  Just *POOF* gone.


In other news…

I got an AWARD!!!  Why you ask?? Well cause I rock, thats why.  ayup!

Stacie of Stacie’s Madness gave me this award…


Since one of my all time favorite sayings is The Bee’s Knees, I just thought it was so fitting.  Don’t you agree??? 🙂

(This is where you say yes, btw) 😀

Here is the rules of the award:

1) When accepting your Bee’s Knees award you should link back to the person that presented it to you.

2) You should pass the love onto any other blogger(s) as many or as few as you so desire.

So then I had to go and think.  Who’s blogs are the Bee’s Knees.  And better yet, who would accept the award.  (I am just picking three of my fav’s, not THE ONLY fav’s so just hush. Otherwise, I will be here all day)  Sooooo, without further ado, I proudly present the Your Blog is The Bee’s Knees award to :

Jill of The Pilgrim Congress

LiLu of Live it LOVE it

Lani of Triplets: Who knew?

Any crazy TMI situations you have found yourself in?  Feel free to share below! 🙂

Have a FAB Thursday!!



about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


my photography page:


my validation!