Archive for the 'Pregnant Woes and Yays' Category



23
Sep
09

Doctors Schmoctors!!

I have all these blogs that have been bouncing around in my head.  Things I want to get on paper.  And yet when I sit down to write them my brain goes blank.  Is that weird?  Well I can tell you it is most annoying .  Grr.

I am working on a good TMI post for tomorrow 🙂  Should have you all giggling pretty well.  So look forward to that and bear with me while I do a little griping.

Today I am sort of having this little pity party for myself.  I am feeling all emotional and wondering if things are going to work out with this pregnancy.  I am scared, but trying to remain hopeful.

Part of what is frustrating me so bad is that I feel like the doctor, Dr M, I have here in Texarkana is pretty much a moron.  I just don’t get good vibes from him.  I had to start seeing him because my infertility specialist, Dr G, who is based in Dallas, works with Dr M here in Texarkana.

Usually, or at least in my past, I have had an ultrasound tech do all of the ultrasounds on me.  Someone who is very familiar with Ultrasound machines and who is trained exclusively in reading and deciphering them.  Dr M does his own ultrasounds.  In my head I am guessing this is an attempt to save money.  Makes sense.  Well it would make better sense if I felt that Dr M actually had extensive training in administering the ultrasound.

The problem is that I don’t think he has a clue.  I will be laying there and he is all up in my bidness with that HUGE probe scanning my innards, and he always has this look on his face like… “uhhh… ummm… uhhhh, whats that? Uhhhh” It is *not* very reassuring.

The first time he actually was able to find the gestational sac. (last Tuesday the 15th) it only happened after about 15 minutes of him searching and saying there was no sac.  It was when I tried to move to reposition myself because he was STABING ME IN KIDNEY being too aggressive that he said, “Oh wait! I think I see something” and then had the nurse prop my hiney on a few towels for a better look.  Apparently my position helped.

“WTF?!?!”

He was about to let me leave thinking that I had no gestational sac and that I didn’t have a viable pregnancy, because he couldn’t FIND the sac!?  Looks pretty darn clear to me on the screen!

Isn’t there a procedure in place for ultrasound techs to scan the entire uterus?  It isn’t that big people!  It’s like the size of your fist!  So, SERIOUSLY!  How does he miss it?

So then this last week he is scanning around up in there trying to find something, with that typical dumbfounded look on his face and I have to remind him “Don’t you want me sit on those towels so you can get a better look?”

Dr M: “Oh! Yeah let’s try that.” Like he came up with the idea all by himself.

Then as you know he wasn’t able to find a heartbeat and he said he “thinks” I am measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days.  This just leaves me thinking… Does this guy really have any effin clue??

He doesn’t deliver babies anymore.  And I am starting to understand why.  Hubby says he was probably drunk all through medical school and cheated his way through it.  I am starting to think he might be right.

So with all of this frustration I have, I called Dr G, the specialist in Dallas.  This guy I trust.  He knows his shit and he doesn’t beat around the bush.  (Pun not intended… or was it? *evil grin*)

Anyhoo, Dr G says that he hasn’t known Dr M for very long and that he was approached my Dr M to do a remote partnership so that the patients in Texarkana would have access to a Fertility Specialist.  Otherwise, they do not.

After I tell him about all of the red flags I am seeing, he says he wants to see me in person and that he will be willing to work with any other doctor I choose in Texarkana, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  Yay!!

I have an appointment to see Dr G on Friday at 3PM.  He makes the 3 plus hour drive to Texarkana once a month to see the patients he has here.  I am very anxious to see him.  I am sure he will be doing another ultrasound to let me know what his opinion is.  Since this guy does this EVERY DAY and this is his life, I am feeling much more confident that he can tell me what the actual diagnosis is.

Dr M never gives me any details or information on anything.  We always have to dig it out of him and still don’t feel we get nearly enough.  Things are NOT that way with Dr G.

I am totally stoked!  Friday cannot come soon enough!  FINALLY we should have some answers.  I NEED TO KNOW!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant. 🙂

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22
Sep
09

The Moon Will Show Me How??? Random Tuesday Thoughts

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If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Happy Tuesday and Happy Randomness!  You know how much I like a good random string of thoughts.  So without further ado… Random Tuesday Thoughts…

I got paid a pretty awesome-TASTIC compliment last night.  My Dad said “I wish I had been half the Dad to you kids that you are a Mom to Monkey.”

How awesome is that?!?!

It made me feel really great to get such a wonderful compliment from my parent about my parenting skills.  Woot Woot!

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This was the conversation that went on in my bed at just before 2 am this morning.

Hubby:    The moon will show you how.

Me waking up out of a dead sleep:    HuhWhat’s wrong hon? What’d you say?

Hubby:   The MOON will show you how!

Me:    Ummm… Are you talking in your sleep?

Hubby yelling: THE MOON WILL SHOW YOU HOW!!

Me confused:    The MOON?

Hubby annoyed:    Yes, the MOON. That thing in the sky!?

Me:   Ummmm………………….???

Hubby:   *snores*

Me:   Oh brother. *eyeroll*

Another random outburst from Hubby’s sleeping mind in the wee hours of the night.  This happens often and he never remembers.  Great fun.

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Yesterday we had our ultrasound.  It didn’t go great.  There was no heartbeat, and I am only measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days.  Not great news folks.  Another ultrasound next Tuesday to see if we made any changes.  It just seems that this keeps dragging on and on and on.  At this point I just need to know.  It is very frustrating to not know.

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Having the TV back is WONNN-ONNN-ONNDERFUL!!!  We are going to try and limit our time, but with fall shows coming back (woohooo!) I am anxiously awaiting some of my fav’s.  It was a great learning experience for us, and we will for sure do turn off the TV week in May, but having it back (especially since we are getting MORE rain *gag*) it helps keep me sane.  And it helps keep Monkey sane.  He gets cabin fever.

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It is mean that I call my son Freddy Krueger because he refuses to let me cut his finger nails??  I’m going to have to get them registered if he won’t let me cut them soon…

“Yes I am here to register my son’s toenails as deadly weapons.” Hah!

Every time I try to cut them he starts screaming and wiggling like I am going to cut his hand off.  I am holding BABY clippers y’all!! Not a chainsaw!!  It’s quite a show.  *eyeroll*

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Speaking of my little mountain climber, yesterday morning he decided to climb out of his crib for the first time.  Freaked him out!  Not nearly as much as it scared me, I’m sure.  But he was fine, just a little shaken up.

So last night, Hubby converted his crib to a toddler bed and we baby proofed every square inch of his room.  Lucky for us he sleeps with the door closed and can’t turn door knobs yet.  That should be fun when that occurs.

So I put some toys in there in hopes of getting him to stay quiet for just an extra few minutes as to afford Mommy a few extra winks.  Which actually worked out ok for about 30 minutes this morning.  It would have worked better though, if I didn’t have Mommy Radar.  You  know… the radar that makes me shoot out of a complete sleep as soon as his breathing changes on the monitor?  Yeah so I was awake but at least able to lie in bed and pretend to sleep for another 30 minutes this morning.

His room looks pretty good though, don’t you think?

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And yes that is a baby gate in the window to keep him away from the blinds.  Can’t afford to replace the blinds, but can’t afford to have him swinging from them or hanging himself on them either.  So his room is 100% baby proof now!! 🙂

Ok, I will stop with the random craziness! 🙂

Have a great day y’all!!


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15
Sep
09

**UPDATED** Tone deaf Wet Dog Random Tuesday Thoughts

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If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

Monkey has finally realized that his poor Mama is tone deaf.  So whenever I start to sing lately, he YELLS at me.  You know, that weird grunting thing?  “UHH UHH UHH!!” with some “AAHHHH!” thrown in.  Well at first I just thought he didn’t want anyone to sing for him.  Call it desperation if you will, but I hoped it wasn’t me.  Then when I started to realize that he will let ANYONE else, and I do mean ANYONE else sing for him, I had to accept the facts.  This isn’t to say that I don’t continue to try.  But he grunts and yells through it all and then when I am done he lets out a loud “Yayyyyyyy!!!” and his eyes say “thank you for finally shutting the hell up mother!”

It’s not a great thing.  Cause even though I can’t carry a tune to save my life… I LOVE to sing.  So I just need to decide if I can either give it up or tune out his screams of protest while doing so. *evil grin*

Every night when I go to bed I pray that when I wake up the housecleaning fairies will have come and cleaned my house.  But alas… *sigh*… still no fairies.  Well I can’t be sure about the fairies actually.  I did notice that there is a bottle of wine missing.  And I found a few wine glasses with glitter on them.  So maybe they are on strike.  Maybe they just flutter in to drink my liquor and then pass out on my couch.  *shrug*

It is POURING rain here.  Again.  On the bright side, I think we can finally build a dock off our back porch.  Hubby is going to be thrilled when he comes home and realizes that our backyard is now a lake and he can finally get that boat he has been wanting.

However, let me just tell you… trying to get a Jack Russell and a Toy Pug to go wading out into the lake to take their morning tinkle break… not so fun.  Add to that their prissy, holy-er than thou attitudes and it turns into a real circus.

Picture this.  Me picking each of them up, one at a time, and running out to the grass to throw (yes THROW) them into it while screaming  “ it’s ok, go potty go potty, please go potty and mama give you a treat, go potty!!!”  Since of course I have to repeat this process until they finally realize I won’t stop until they pee, you can imagine I am drenched before this is all through.

Then comes the ÜBER FUN task of trying to dry them.  Jazz, the pug, seems to think that trying to attack the towel AND the arms that hold the towel is the best way to accomplish this task.

I have to start chanting to myself Cass, be the pack leader, be the pack leader!! Guess who successful I am at *that*??

That is a less than successful endeavor, so I just have to deal with wet carpet and couches all day.  And hey, on the bright side, who doesn’t love a nice wet dog air freshener??? 🙂

So I can’t lie.  I am sitting here trying to type my random thoughts but the only thing going through my mind is the pending ultrasound.  My appointment is in less than an hour to see if this pregnancy is still working out.  The numbers show that it is but we haven’t seen a heartbeat yet.  I am sooooo nervous.  I have a bad feeling in my gut.  I am just trying not to throw up.  Wish me luck!!!

I will try and post an update later today.

**UPDATE**

The ultrasound went well today.  After the doctor searched high and low ForEVER, he finally found the little gestational sac.  There is only one sac.  So I won’t be getting my own TV show! For those of you who have made comments about that.  LOL

I am measuring about 5 weeks now.  We thought we were about a week and a half further along.  But you never know.  All my numbers and measurements are consistent with 5 weeks.  God works in mysterious ways.  But I am feeling much better about things today.  So happy that it is not a tubal pregnancy!

We will have another ultrasound Monday morning to see if we can get a heartbeat.

Thank you for your prayers!!


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11
Sep
09

And I am back!!! Miss me? Dear Friday So and So…

Dear So and So...

Sorry for falling off the grid there.  Jimmy and I are sick, AGAIN, for the 2nd time in a month.  Yay germs.  😦

Without further ado… here is Friday’s Dear So and So!!  Have a great weekend!!

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Dear Baby or Babies to be,

Please let me see you on the ultrasound next week.  It was disheartening to not be able to see you yesterday on the ultrasound.  I am trying to stay positive and hopeful since your numbers are still climbing and suggesting you are doing really well.  Just give me a sign.  K?

Anxiously awaiting good news,

Mama

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Dear Sinus Infection number two,

Seriously?  Again?  Seriously???  It’s been like what… two weeks since you last attacked me!?!?!  Oh.My.Gawwwd.

You suck,

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

I am so sorry that I can’t make you feel better.  I am so sorry that you take after your Mama and want complete undivided attention when you are sick.  I understand that you feel the need to be held, cuddled, and smothered in hugs and kisses 24/7 when you are sick.  I don’t even mind that you wipe your very alarmingly green boogers on my shirt.  This is how bad I feel that you are sick and that I can’t fix it.

Not the Super Mommy Fixer of All Things that I thought I was,

Mama

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Dear Laundry,

Please do yourself.  Cause I am on sabbatical.

Thanks much,

Cass

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Dear Messy House,

Please clean yourself.  Seriously.  Ugh.

Cass

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Dear To Do List,

Why must you mock me?

Boooooo,

Cass

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Dear Homeless Man from the Taco Bell yesterday,

When you walked up to my car, I tried to act nonchalant and didn’t rush to roll up my window even though my snobby side told me to.  And when you asked me if I would be so kind as to spare a few bucks or get you some lunch, I agreed because you looked like you needed a yummy Taco Bell lunch, so I ordered you up 3 fat burritos.  However, I must say I felt a bit uncomfortable when you asked to get into my truck, and that is of course why I declined your invite.  But you agreed to meet me around the side by the pickup window to retrieve your lunch, so I let it go.  I really beginning to get the heebie jeebies though when I looked around to give you your lunch and you were nowhere to be found.  Now my panicky side is left to wonder A) Where the hell did you go?  B) What was your real intent on coming to my window and asking me to get in to my truck? And C) What do I do with these three burritos??

Thank you for making my good deed feel like something that could have resulted in me being on the 10 o’clock news.  You are a creepy, creepy man that will haunt my dreams now.  I just pray you were too drunk or strung out to remember that I agreed to buy you lunch.

Please don’t ever approach my truck again and freak me the hell out,

Cass

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Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by, again 😀
Xoxo
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08
Sep
09

Holy Random Tuesday Thoughts Batman!

randomtuesday

If you want to play along with Random Tuesday Thoughts, go here to get the widget and add your name to Mr. Linky.

And Happy Monday to all!!!  Err… Tuesday you say?  Oh.  Whoopsie.  Happy TUESDAY all!!! Time is sort of a blur lately:)  So I got thoughts.  And they are random.  Ready?  Go!

This weekend was nice.  It was our anniversary on Saturday, duh, so we went out to dinner and filled ourselves silly on yummy Mexican food.  Mmmmm!!!

Sunday we got the sitter and went and saw The Time Travelers Wife.  I personally thought it was a fantastic movie.  I heard some not so great things about it but I really liked it.  However, being a hormonal nutcase right now, I was literally bawling through the entire 30 minutes of previews.  All of the movies look fantastic, and so I cried like a nut.  Hubby just rolled with the punches and kept saying “it’s ok babe… it’s ok”  lol.  Oh well.  Might as well embrace the hormones I supposed.  *shrug*

SOOOOO… I have so fan-frickin-tabulous news about Dan!  Apparently he is doing amazingly well!!  He is able to speak although he is still trying to make sense of his thoughts.  So everything doesn’t come out exactly as he wants.  He did lose the use of his right arm and leg but they are hoping with rehab he will be able to use that again.  A friend went to visit him and sent this picture.

Dan and Pam

Pam and Dan

Honestly, he hasn’t looked this good in so long!  He looks so happy!  It filled me with joy to see this picture of him.  He looks so fantastic!

Got some more blood work today to see how the pregnancy is progressing.  Won’t have the results until this afternoon, but strangely, I am not worried in the least.  Maybe my intuition is trying to tell me that everything is ok.  I dunno, but I am thrilled that I am not stressing about it.  I just know in my heart that everything is going to work out this time.

Jimmy and I have apparently got a bit of a cold.  AGAIN.  So sneezing, snot and coughing are prevalent in this house today 🙂  yummy!

My Gram leaves today to go back to Denver.  It is going to be so sad to see her go.  She was here for three weeks.  It was so wonderful to be able to sit and have our chats.  And to watch her play with her great grandson.  Peaking in on the two of them reading a book together or singing to a Baby Einstein movie together is a wonderful sight that I can’t wait to see again.

I just pray that I will be able to phone her soon and say, “Guess what?!? We are moving home!!”  I can’t wait to get back to Colorado.  To our family and friends.  To the dry air.  To the mountains.  To normal civilization.  To competent doctors.  To fab restaurants.  To summers you can actually go outdoors without risking heat stroke.  To Snow.  Oh the things I miss.

**Update!!**  The nurse just called to let me know my numbers are going up still.  Yay!!  So Thursday morning we will be doing an ultrasound to take a peek at the baby or babies to be 🙂 Can’t wait!!!


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04
Sep
09

Some smacking and a little weeping Dear So and So Friday!! :)

Dear So and So...

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Dear Dead Mosquito,

As you can now see, I will not hesitate to smack my kid in effort to kill you when you attempt to bite him.  I hope you learned your lesson.  Tell your friends.

Your Personal Grim Reaper,

Cass

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Dear Hormones,

WTF?!!? Crying ALL the time?  At everything?  Seriously?  Can I not just sit down to watch five minutes of television without weepy eyes??  “Out of whack pregnancy hormones” my ass!  This is bogus.  I have only been pregnant for like, what?  10 seconds??

You suck,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

You are the effing bomb baby!  I don’t tell you enough.  I know that’s shitty of me.  But I plan to start showing you and telling you more.  Thank you for loving me and completing me.  (yes I did just go there)

Forever,

Wife

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Dear Monkey,

So sorry to break this to you, but you are not a mountain climber.  You are too young to be a mountain climber.  You are too young to try and scale everything in your path.  Such items I would like you to avoid climbing, again, would be the dining room table, the fireplace hearth, the walls, into the refrigerator, the dogs, MOMMY, and most recently the bathtub wall.  And jumping up and down on the couch, the chair AND Mommy and Daddy’s bed?  Not so cute.  And I don’t fancy the idea of going to the emergency room and trying to explain.  Pleeeeeeease?

Much love baby boy,

Mama

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Dear Rain and Cool Weather,

Well it is about effin time!  Thank you for finally making an appearance!  Mama is happy now. 🙂

Mama

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Dear Daisy Mae,

I adore you.  I really do.  I am so glad we adopted your furry craziness into our home.  I even love how you like to sleep under the covers at my feet.  While it can be annoying as hell that I can’t move at times, knowing your warm furry body is down there to comfort me is well… comforting.  However, this licking phase you are into?  One word.  Gross.  Last night when I woke up to the 2 foot patch of slimy sheets, I thought my feet had wet the bed.  It’s disgusting on soooo many levels.  Cut it out already!

Gag me with a spoon,

Mama

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Dear Feet,

Aside from the slimy pedicure you received from the sheets last night, I realize I have been neglecting you.  For that I am sorry.  You are adorable little things, even if I do say so myself.  And I do.  *grin*  There is no excuse for my allowing you to live in such deplorable conditions.  There are great things in the near future and at that time I promise to make it up to you.

Bear with me,

Mama

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Dear Readers,

Thank you for putting up with me for another week!  Even through my whiny and crabby Monday! I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Thanks for reading!!

Xoxo
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03
Sep
09

Things I have learned from my Toddler #2

wifflepink

My son has these colored wiffle balls that he loves to play with. You know the ones… the balls with all the holes?  (No they aren’t pink, that is just the only pic I could find.)  Anyshizzle… he puts them up on the end table next to my chair and grunts at me.  He wants me to spin them like a top.  He wants them spun ALL the time.  And if you don’t spin the green one, the red one, the white one, the purple one AND the blue one, then he will scream and proceed to throw the balls at your head.  You MUST spin the balls.  *eyeroll*

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Any toy that makes noise will be among the top five favorite toys in your toddler’s life. The toy with the most annoying noise will be #1.  Especially if it is a loud annoying lawn mower toy that your son feels he must RUN through the house pushing.  The loud thumping and music and annoyance of it all can be easily drowned out with wine.   (Although if pregnant, like myself, and not allowed to drink such sanity inducers, then just close your eyes and pretend you have the whole wine bottle in your hand.  It helps.  Seriously.) *grin*

Nightmares can rouse a Mommy from a “dead to the world” sleep and can only be cured with cuddles.  Mommy will try not to cry along with you, I know you hate that.  Ok well I will try not to cry.

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Timeout is sort of a joke.  I have been watching that Super Nanny.  I need that chick to come to my house and show me a thing or two.  I am sick of being laughed at.

When your toddler is sitting on your lap and sneezes, and a foreign substance comes FLYING out his nose right into your face, try desperately not to heave him across the room as you make a mad dash for the toilet.  If you have annoying nausea hormones that make you want to vomit at the mere sight of snot, then I suggest wearing a hazmat suit.  Mine is on backorder.  🙂

Climbing is not an art.  Bruises, cuts, scraps and bumps are normal.  On toddler and on Mommy.  Get used to it.

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No matter how bad the mood or how upset you may be, one giggle from that little perfect person can make your world a better place.  Instantly.

I am thinking of making this a weekly thing.  You know with class participation and everything.  What do you think?  Would anyone want to participate?  Let me know either way what your thoughts are.




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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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my photography page:

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tweeeet:

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my validation!

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