Getting Snowed Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Terra the Awesomeist Hairstylist EVA,

LOVE LOVE LOVE my new hair cut.

It’s SOOO edgey!  Does that mean I am cool now?? Although I wish you had mentioned that the grays are starting to take over my head.  Little jerks.  Will be in very soon for some color. *nod*

You’re the bomb!

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

I hope you had a fantastic 2nd birthday last weekend!! I is shocking to me that time is FLYING by so fast!  But for the record, you didn’t have to begin your terrible twos THE DAY OF YOUR BIRTHDAY!  And your over use of the word “NO!” makes finger nails on a chalkboard sound like a sweet symphony.  Just sayin.

Oh and all the strangers that you have said “EYE TWOOOOO” to, think you are just the cutest damn thing to walk the face of the planet.  At least that’s what their faces say when their mouths say “AWWWWWWWWWW”

You’re the mini bomb baby!

Love you bunches Monkey!

Mama

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Dear “BuyViagra”,

Thank you for your comment on my blog of “Your insight is perfect.  What a great blog!” Let me just say that from your comment I have learned that clearly you are a person of intelligence.

BUT…

when you said “Check out my website and tell me what you think!”, you will have to excuse me as I have to pass because your name, BUYVIAGRA, is a little telling.  And call it a hunch, but I have a feeling that you didn’t even READ my blog.

And I thought we were going to be great friends.  Pffft.

Soooo sick of spam,

Cass

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Dear Jasmine,

Happy Eighth Birthday!! I can’t believe you are so OLD!  Mama loves you so much.  Please stop aging though, nnkay?  I am starting to worry.

You will always be my beautiful baby girl.

Muah!
Mama

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Dear Texarkana,

Today is the only day in almost 3 years *gasp* that I have lived here that I think the city looks truly beautiful!

If you keep bringing the snow… Mama gonna like it.  *nod*

Lovin’ the white stuff (no not that white stuff, people, sheesh)

Mama

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Dear Ovaries,

Today is day two of our cycle.  Tomorrow we start the injections.  What do you say we make ourselves a baby!?!?!  WHO’S WITH ME!

HutHutHut Break!

(ok so I don’t know what they usually say in a huddle, but you get the idea, haha)

Baby Making 2010 has begun.  BM10 for short.  LOL

So dear, sweet, loving ovaries… please work!  pleeeeeeeease?

Thanks,

The Bod

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

Oh yeah? I got yer letters right here!! Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear All Y’all Reading (thats you!)

Thank you.  I don’t say that enough.

Thank you,

Cass

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Dear Super Mario Bros for Wii,

Are you sending subliminal messages through your music?  Is this why I can’t put you down and pick up a vacuum?

My house is suffering,

Mama

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Dear Monkey,

For the love of Bob! Would you PLEASE.TAKE.A.NAP.ALREADY!  Why do you have to make Mama suffer this way?  The sooner you go to sleep, the sooner you will be able to wake up and play with all your mess making toys!  See? Mama is looking out for herself cause she needs some down time YOU!

Love you baby, even though you are helping oil the gears in the machine mommy likes to call the LOONY BIN,

Mama

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Dear New Receptionist Bitch at my Therapists office,

Why must you be such an asshole?  Just because I am in therapy doesn’t give you the right to talk to me like I am a crazy.  Need I remind you that if it wasn’t for crazies like me, your ass wouldn’t have a job!

Kapeesh?

Signed,

The bitch who hung up on you yesterday because you couldn’t get your shitty attitude corrected long enough to get me an appointment

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Dear Hubby,

Please stop working so much.  There are only so many hours in the day.  Working and sleeping are the only two activities you do anymore.  We need you here.  Mama is about to have a breakdown.

Missing you and your naughty bedroom skeeels *wink*,

The Wife

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Dear Bi-Polar,

Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

You’ll never win,

Me

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Dear Funky Weather,

You are mucho confusingo. Si?

Signed,

Frustrated Mama Lacking all Spanish knowledge

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Dear New Cores Skittles,

NomNomNom

Thank you,

My Mouth

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

Who Gets the Finger? Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Hubby’s Company,

You made a terrible mistake.  My Hubby was the best person on the planet for that job.  For ANY job on the planet.  You suck.  Pbbbbbbbbbttttt!!!

Bitter and Pissed,

Mrs. Hubby

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Dear Mark Salling,

I cried when I found out that I wasn’t going to see your beautiful face on my screen again until Spring.  Cried on the inside but they were still real tears.  BIG tears!  Hold me?

Rawwwr!

I love your bod your jaw your mohawk you.  NomNomNom.

Your #1 Stalker Fan

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Dear Glee,

I am going to miss you, but I wanted you to know how thankful I am that you posted this GORGEOUS wallpaper on your website.

NomNomNom!

I will happily take down the adorable pictures of my children on my desktop to put this picture in it’s place.

I know I am going to hell for this.

Signed,

The worst mother in the world

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Dear MckMama,

You are doing a giveaway for an HP TouchSmart.  I wannnnnnt.

Photo copywrite Jennifer McKinney www.mycharmingkids.net

Pick me, pick me!

Cass

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Dear WordPress Blog Designers,

Don’t you want to give me a free makeover on my blog? Doncha, Doncha?

Pweeeeeeeeeeeease?

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

How is it that a little dude like yourself and destroy so much in Mama’s house??  I don’t get it.  You are like a mini tornado.  Upturning everything in your path.

These are the days I truly miss your little blob self when you were first born.  All you wanted was a boob and a cuddle and you never touched ANYTHING in Mama’s clean house.

Clean is a retired word in our house now.  *sigh*

Love you booger face,

Mama

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Dear Eyeglasses,

I am SOOO sorry I let Monkey get anywhere near you.  I also am so sorry you now look like a jumbled form of your younger self.  Another thing I am sorry for is that I tried to fix you using a GIGANTIC screwdriver.  I promise to try and be more careful now that you are sort of sitting level on my face.

Please don’t leave me cause I can’t do it without you,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

The Story of a Muu Muu and a UPS Dude Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Self,

Get out of your funk!

Gah!

Me

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Dear UPS “Dude” that delivers here EVERYDAY,

So I know that since you are here a lot now, you feel like we have “bonded” or whatever, BUT… please don’t be fooled.  We aren’t friends.  And yes, I realize that I have been in my Muu Muu for three days in a row when you have come by.  BUT, we do NOT have one of those “friendly” relationships where you can say things like “I thought if I came later today you would have had time to get dressed”.

*jaw drop*

Yeah we soooooo don’t have one of those relationships, nnkay?

Even though I appear to live in my jammies, you are coming to MY house, remember?  The place where I sleep?  And wear jammies?  Got it?

Hoping you get a bit more professional,

The lady in the pink muu muu

ps. In my defense, I have actually been in 2 different muu muu’s not just the one.

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Dear Furry Ladies,

Love you!  Like A LOT.  I do.  But WTF are you eating outside that makes your breath smell that way?  Whenever either of you come up to me for cuddles and kisses, I have to breath through my mouth for fear I might lose my lunch!

No need to point out that it is my responsibility as your Mommy to brush your little canine teefies.  Time to go to the Doggie Dentist me thinks.

Love you but your mouths are rotten,

Mommy

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Dear Starbucks,

I love you.  With.All.My.Heart.

*swoon*

Slowly giving you my kids college tuition,

Daily White Chocolate Mocha Addict

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Dear Hubby,

Have fun on yet another of your leaving-me-alone-with-the-house-and-baby-and-furry-friends-to-escape-on-vaca trips this weekend.  Am I the coolest wife ever to let you always take these fun trips while I sit at home alone with like one day off in a year?  You better be nodding your head and saying “SOOOO the coolest wife EVER!” right now.

I better get a frickin t-shit,

The bestest, coolest, most kick ass (seriously) wife on the planet

ps. Hope the Steelers kick some serious Raiders ass on Sunday.  Wave a Terrible Towel for me, since I won’t be there with you.

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Dear Christmas Tree,

Oh how I love thee.  Mommy made you into serious perfection.  I love to stare at you and stare some more.  Purrrrrrrrrrty.

Love,

Your AMAZING decorator

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

Cheese with my Whine Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear V,

You were a sad, sad disappointment.  You have lost the viewers in this house.  We were soooo excited for you.  You totally suck.

Why can’t we have a nice alien show like Roswell again.  Am I the only one who is sick of aliens wanting to kill us?

Gawwwd!
Cass

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Dear Daisy,

Thank you for being super doper adorable.  But, can I make a small request?  PLEASE, for the love of linens, STOP burying your bone in my bed pillows.  I get it.  I get that you are a dog and a digger at that.  BUT… my pillows are starting to feel the pain.  And the hole in my sham is OVER THE LINE Missy!

So, seriously.  Just chew on the damn bone and leave Mama’s pillows alone.  NNkay?

Sleeping on curiously deformed pillows,

Mama

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Dear Fingers,

WTF dudes? Seriously?!?  Learn to type or you will be replaced.  When I say type www, I did NOT say type wwwwww!  Nnnkay!?!?  We have been over this a gazillion times.  I already have bad grammar and spelling skills in my brain… let’s try not to mess me up even more! Oki doki!?!  Trying to navigate through my life is difficult enough without you trying to eff it up even more!

Pffft,

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

Unless you are trying to channel Ghandi for a hunger strike, which you’re NOT, then you need to eat.  You are starting to freak me out dude.  Seriously.

Love you baby,

Mama

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Dear Bathroom Scale,

You suck.  You nasty evil bastard.  Why do you hate me?  If you loved me you would LIE to me and at least give me a number I like.  Instead you lie and tack on at LEAST 80 extra pounds.

That’s my story and I am stickin’ to it,

Big Mama

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Dear Rihanna,

In my opinion, your interview on 20/20 last Friday was amazing.  I cried while watching you.  I have enjoyed your music, but didn’t know much about you.  You are now an amazing inspiration.  You have a huge heart.  Your fans are lucky to have you.  Such a young girl with so many years lived already.   I am truly in awe of you.

A supportive fan now for sure,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

Click here to view today’s Daily Photo Blog…Cap’n Spooky’s Daily Photo Blog

Chocolate Needy Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Huge Zits on my Face,

Apparently you missed the Memo.  You are supposed to be attaching yourself to a helpless teenager.  Not to my wrinkles.  Nnnkay?

Seriously.  This is getting old.

Feeling 13 again, and not a good way,

Cass

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Dear Chocolate,

STOP! Seriously! Stop tempting me.  Do you see what you are doing to my face?!?!

GAWWWWD!

You suck! (But taste oh so good)

Cass

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Dear Monkey,

Please.  For Mama?  PLEASE!  Start talking.  Not only am I worried about you not talking because of your age, but I am SERIOUSLY over the whining and grunting to get everything you want.  It’s making me grouchy.  So please.  TALK.  k?

Love you baby but I got a VERY short fuse,

Mama

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Dear Cass,

You are going to have a nervous breakdown if you don’t learn how to mellow out a little big.  You have been complaining of PMS for over two weeks now.  And even though it is possible, it’s getting a little OLD.  Get a fuse.  Go to Sams or Costco and get a HUGE one if you must.  But for all of us, get one!

That vein seriously looks like it’s gonna pop,

Self

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Dear Hubby,

Hope you enjoy your weekend away fishing.  Be safe and catch a lot.

Wishing I had the same draw the water did.

Disgruntled,

Wife

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Dear Stats,

Why am I suddenly only getting like 50 reads a day when last week I was getting over 200?

Starting to get a complex,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo

A Sexy and Musical Dear So and So Letters of Intent

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Dear Glee,

I am pretty sure you love the pants off me, and that is why you hired Mark Salling who plays Noah.  Hope he doesn’t mind being in many future, and *ahem* past, naughty dreams of mine.

I can’t be responsible if Hubby wakes up one morning soon with a Mohawk.  🙂 Oh yeah, who’s your Mama?

Rawwwr,

Mama

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Dear Hubby,

Thank you kindly for stopping at the grocery store last week and picking up some needed food items for me.  And thank you even more for going back in even after you had already paid to pick me up the newest copy of People so that I could read the article on Jaycee Dugard before the new issue of people came out that next day.

However, you will forgive my laughter and constant giggles when I walk by the kitchen counter and notice the “Country Music” edition of People that you got instead sitting there.  It was so kind of you, really it was, but I can’t help but laugh, me being the country music buff and all.  Lol

Now if only I knew some of the people this magazine is about.  Anyone wanna fill me in on some Country stars? *shrug*

Giggling,

The Wife

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Dear Jill,

OMG I am so stoked for my Jesus Is Not Offended Wall Calendar!!!  I would be willing to bet my life savings that you will be able to retire off of sales of the new calendar.  You are so amazingly talented.  Your artistic skills can only be compared to that of DaVinci or Michelangelo.  Honestly, I think you put the two of them to shame.

Anxiously watching the mail for my prize,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

Wednesday night, you fell asleep on the couch.  While I was typing *this* blog (planning ahead :)) you sat up, looked straight at me (or… maybe past me… anyhoo…) and you said “We will do it tomorrow night!” and promptly fell back down and into slumber.  I had to laugh.

Now, I am just trying to figure out what “doing” will be done.  Heh heh heh 😉

Oddly turned on,

The wife

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Dear Nick Jr (formarly known as Noggin),

Usually I am totally irritated by all of your nonsense, even though Monkey seems to think you’re all good.  But this… this? is so frickin’ awesome!

Humming Three Little Birds a lot lately,

Mama

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Dear Monkey,

I love that you are suddenly being all Mommy needy right now.  Yes that is selfish of me because you are usually a Daddy’s boy.  But I am soaking that shizzle UP!  I love how you want to be held all the time and how you always want to be on my lap.  One thing that I really enjoy is playing the “what’s that” game with you.  You know… where you point to my hair and say “wuzzat?” and I say “that is Mommy’s Hair” and you point to my nose and say “wuzzat?” and I say “Mommy’s nose” and you stick your finger in my eye and say “wuzzat?” and I say “OWE OWE MY EYE MY EYE!!” and you laugh at me.  Fun times.  Sooo… let’s keep playing that, but with less… intensity.  Nnkay?

Love you baby!
Mama

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Dear Jon Gosselin,

Seriously?

I just threw up in my mouth,

Cass

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Dear Kelly,

Thank you for emailing me today.  You sent me the most hilarious joke I have heard!

It is a new take on the 3 little pigs nursery rhyme.

The Big Bad Wolf said,

I’ll huff and I’ll puff and I’ll blow your house down!

The three little pigs said,

Fuck off or we’ll sneeze on you!

Rolling on the floor,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Time to play along! To participate in Dear So and So just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. To participate in Letters of Intent, click here to visit Julie, over at Foursons and grab one of those buttons too!

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Xoxo