25
Nov
09

What if…


…my stepdad hadn’t gotten sick?

Would my Mom be happy now?  What would my sons name be?  Would I have gone to that Christmas party in his place and met my husband?

…all of my past pregnancies had worked out?

I would have 6 kids with a 7th on the way.  But would any of them be my perfect Monkey?

…we had stayed in Denver and decided not to move to Texarkana?

Would we still be living in a tiny apartment and sending Monkey to daycare each day?

…my ex hadn’t been such a douche?

Would I have still left him and found the love of my life?

…the guys at the plant hadn’t seen a sap while I was pregnant?

Would I still have taken Daisy home with us even after Hubby protested?

Watching this Flash Forward lately has me thinking.   Some people really believe that our life is a pre destined set of events.  I don’t know that I believe that.  Sometimes maybe I do a little but for the most part I really don’t.

I have always said that everything happens for a reason.  I really believe that.  Not because of some pre-mapped life but because I think that everything makes something else occur.  If any of the what if’s above had happened, then my life wouldn’t be where it is right now.  It would be changed and different.

Would I have missed the opportunity to meet my husband if my step dad hadn’t been too sick to go to the Christmas party because of Chemo?

If I hadn’t had miscarriage after miscarriage, would I even be with my husband now if I had 3 kids with my ex?

Would I be able to afford to stay home with Monkey each day if we hadn’t taken the opportunity to move here?

It all boils down to 3 very simple statements.

I have a wonderful sexy husband that would do anything for us.

Our son is truly one kick ass baby boy.

Our two fur babies will always have my heart.

This is my family.  Even if it is in this town that I hate, this is my family.  And if any of those what if’s had come to fruition, would I be in these shoes now?  It’s scary to think that I wouldn’t be.

What events could have kept you from where you are now?  What are you truly thankful for?


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23 Responses to “What if…”


  1. November 25, 2009 at 6:07 am

    I am so right there with you on this … and Flash Forward has inspired my similar thoughts. I’ve always believed things happen for a reason and most people confuse that to mean that I think it’s all figured out and I am just moving through life accepting a pre-determined future. But that’s not what I believe. I just know that each choice and event paves the way down that path …. but I don’t think it’s all mapped out. Wow! Big topic for so late/early in the day 🙂

    • 2 Big Mama Cass
      November 25, 2009 at 10:13 am

      AWESMENESS! Sooooo glad you got EXACTLY what I was saying. And you are dead on. That is exactly what I believe!!

  2. November 25, 2009 at 8:46 am

    I have so many “What Ifs” in my life… sometimes it takes me to dangerous places to think about them, but I think I’ve got a handle on them. What if I hadn’t gone in to be induced? Would we have known that Ironman was under diress? Would he have survived a vaginal birth? *shudder*

  3. 5 Hubby
    November 25, 2009 at 9:52 am

    Very insightful Babe. Makes you think about all of the shoulda woulda coulda’s. Personally, I do not believe in pre-determined destinies. Instead, I think that our lives are shaped by our character. Our character allows us to make the decisions that we make for the the situations placed before us. I see this every day. I deal with folks that are nice, smart, full of initiative, and have the potential to do good things for their lives but do not have good character or the common sense to make the good decisions. Many of them either get fired or demoted or just remain stagnant. You on the other hand have a very caring and loving character, so you decided to accompany your Mom to the Christmas Party – it was a good, sound decision. If we make good decisions, good things happen. If we make bad decisions, chances are that there may be some flaw in character and the chance of bad things happening increase. Would you say that a rapist that sits in the jailhouse has good character? Bad character = bad decisions = bad life experiences. If anyone out there has a “bad” life, I say re-evaluate your character and make the proper adjustments. Remember this – we move toward and act on what we think about. Visit your character every day and tweak it to accomodate the lifestyle that you desire.

    • 6 Big Mama Cass
      November 25, 2009 at 10:17 am

      Very interesting perspective Hon. Thanks. I never thought about it that way exactly, but I think you might be onto something. Love you!

  4. November 25, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Big Mama, You are so insightful and what a perfect time of year to reflect on this. I know what it feels like to be in a town that is not your home. When I married my X we moved a couple times, the last time ending up in South Texas. It was CLOSER to home, but it was not home. Less than 2 years after moving there, he left me for another woman (and I did not even know it), with two small babies. I ended up there for 5 more years. I stayed because I could afford to have an apartment AND pay for daycare. There would have no other way to make it financially here in Austin. I bid my time, and I am now back. There was a reason I stayed there. I learned alot about me and who I am. I now appreciate being home and the new teaching job here. I am blessed. THANK YOU FOR BEING SO INSIGHTFUL AND HAVING SUCH A WARM, BIG HEART. P.S. Your’e husband IS hawt! Lucky, Lucky woman. Happy Thanksgiving. Lisa

  5. November 25, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    Hey I have missed you sorry it has been a while since I visited er a I mean commented!! Love ya!! Have a great Thanksgiving!! Are you going to any blogging conferences?? We should hook up at one; one of these days! *sigh*

  6. November 25, 2009 at 3:42 pm

    I think what ifs are kind of pointless in the long run. What IS is what matters and I think your ‘what is’ is perfect. 🙂

  7. November 25, 2009 at 5:12 pm

    Oh this gave me shivers and even a few tears in my eyes! Really, what’s important- and what you’ve said- is being happy for what we have. The What-ifs can be scary but I love thinking of them because they make me grateful and happy for where I am.

    My What-if: what if I hadn’t been strong enough to break up with my ex? I would now be pulled in two directions- towards him one way and my family and faith the other. I would probably be divorced. Being pulled in such strong directions can’t last. Thank goodness I was strong enough and I found my handsome hubby who shares my faith and loves my family- so there is no pulling. And no divorce.

  8. November 27, 2009 at 12:59 pm

    Beautiful post! I’m still smarting from my crappy Thanksgiving so I’ll have to post my thankful stuff another time 😉

  9. November 29, 2009 at 4:57 pm

    Great Post! I definitely think you come to a fork in the road and you choose what path to take. Everyone makes their choices. I am truly thankful for my family, my girls and my hubby are what keeps my world spinning!

  10. November 30, 2009 at 1:37 pm

    Is that your hubby?!!!!!


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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!

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