I have been reading all these amazing blogs for quite some time. I love to read them and although I am not a profound writer (hah!) or anything, I do get at least four or five readers a day. LOL
My blog is supposed to be a place where I can truly be me. ME all the time. 365 days of *me* Me on a stick. Me with a side of gravy. ME ME ME ME ME ME ME. Get it?
And lately… I haven’t been me. I have been trying to be who people want me to be. I don’t say certain things because I don’t want to offend. I don’t speak my mind because I don’t want to hurt feelings. I am just not ME.
For one thing, my mouth is bad. I curse. I curse because I LIKE to curse. I curse because it feels good. I curse because I have since as long as I can remember and because it just makes me, me. But you may notice, especially if you know me in real life, that I very rarely curse if at all on my blog. People comment on it a lot actually. How my blog is a “cleaner” version of me.
I even stopped saying “Oh my God” because I received an email from one reader who still reads my blog (or maybe after today will not) with the request that I change it to “Oh my goodness” because saying God was offensive. I changed it because I didn’t want to be offensive.
Today, I had an epiphany!
I am ME! And if someone who reads this blog doesn’t like it, then I say, hey, this is *me*. If I read a blog that I don’t like, do you know what I do? I don’t read it again. Ayup. Good strategy don’t you think?
If someone doesn’t want me to talk about sex, or say God, or say fuck, then I say, it’s mighty time you hit that big red X at the top there because this is the new me. Well the old me, just new to you.
When I met Hubby, one thing that really drew me in was that he didn’t care what ANYBODY thought about him. He was the one person that I had ever met who didn’t just say they didn’t care what people thought. He really didn’t care. As long as he was happy and making the people he loved and cared about happy, then he didn’t care what anybody else thought. In 24 years, I had never seen anything like it.
He has changed me and brought about a new me. Whenever I ask his opinion on how I should handle any situation, from the mundane and silly, to the HUGE and life changing, he most always replies with some variation of the same sentence. “Just be you babe.”
From today forward, this is me. Hi, how are ya? Nice to meet ya.
This is the ME I am.
The grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed, OCD, stay at home Big Mama fumbling through life. This is me.
And that is awesome.