***Alright, folks, you know the rules. Join us all in humiliating the crap out of yourself every Thursday by sharing some completely tasteless, wholly unclassy, “how many readers can I estrange THIS week??” TMI story about your life. Or hell, about someone else’s!
Dear friends and family,
Please pass on this blog if you really do not want to read too much information about me. Kay? You have been warned.
Lets get on with it then.
Do you like to double click your mouse? I do. Not that this is a secret to those of you that know me. I am a hornball so it would go without saying that a little clicking is part of my life. Personally, I think it’s healthy. And it makes me happy. And we all know it feels good. I think those that deny that they like it and don’t do it are denying themselves a God given gift. And it makes me sad for them.
For me, my clickage started when I was very young. According to my mother, it began when I was just under 2 years old. I don’t remember that early but I do remember having a knowledge of what sex was at a very early age. About 4. There are a number of reasons that this could be, none of which I am going to go into here.
For some reason, my mother led me to believe that it was weird that I masturbated and that it was something that was to be hidden and not talked about. I am not saying she should have let me give her dinner guests a show in the living room, but I do feel that being made to believe it was something dirty definitely began to shape my sexual awareness in a negative light. I am not pointing blame at her because I think this was just what she thought was the right way to handle it at the time. Doctors in the late 70’s would have told her the same thing. And hell, they may say the same thing now, who knows.
A large contributing factor to the dirty feeling I got growing up when I knew I was sneaking around to “satisfy” was knowing how my mother would say “Cassandra! That is something that we do in private, now go to your room” in her exasperated whisper. She has a way of making you know exactly what her mind is thinking even without saying the words just by the look on her face or the tone of her voice. And the tone of her voice said “you dirty little girl, that is disgusting” and that she was CLEARLY embarrassed by it.
I have it on good authority that my mother DOES NOT double click her mouse. And it is sad because if you knew her, you would agree that a little clicking would do her good.
All I can take from the experiences from my childhood is ways that I can better parent my kids. I hope to teach them that while masturbating is not something I want them doing at the dinner table or in public (unless they are grown and that’s their thing, which is fine, I don’t judge), that it is perfectly natural for them to do it and that neither their father or I will ever judge them for it. Like my mother judged me.
I remember once when I was around 12, I heard the word “masturbation” on television for the first time and asked my mother what it meant.
Mom: “well do you remember that ‘humping’ thing you used to do when you were really little?”
Me: VERY RED and embarrassed “umm… nooo… uhhh….. well maybe… yeah I think I might know what you mean” lying through my teeth, knowing full well what ‘humping’ she was referring.
Mom: “well THAT is masturbation!” again with the exasperated tone “and you used to do it A LOT! Thank goodness THAT phase is over” turning back to her magazine.
And that was it. The entire masturbation conversation. Apparently she had no idea that I was indeed still in ‘THAT phase’.
Personally, I don’t know why sex and masturbation are such risque topics of conversation. But I wish a conversation had opened up then about it. That was such a perfect opportunity for discussion. Makes me sad to think back about the narrow minded mother I grew up with.
I hope that I am not like that with my kids. I am going to do what I can to make sure Monkey is MUCH older than 4 before he knows what sex is. And also make sure that he knows he can talk to me about anything. Something I always wished I had the option of with my mom. *sigh*
Do you double click YOUR mouse? How do you think it is best to discuss masturbation with your children? What would/have you done, if you caught them masturbating?