Dear Fireman J from yesterdays post,
Since I haven’t heard from you in (calculating in my head) ummm… years. I completely forgot that you were on my Yahoo messenger list. Which I have had since… forget it… a LONG time. Anyhoo… you can imagine my complete and utter shock when I got your message on Yahoo yesterday. Seems that your ears must have been burning. While I did resist the urge to tell you how weird it was hearing from you because I had just posted a blog about your tiny penis it was hard for me to mask my shock.
You didn’t have much to say other than hello and to tell me that you are married now (I hope she has a fondness for Chapstick) and that you are both expecting your first baby next month, a girl. Congratulations. I actually think you will make a fantastic father.
Anyway, it was just totally beyond weird to hear from you COMPLETELY out of the blue. I have been watching the heavens for lightening ever since for fear I am in big trouble with the dude (or chick) upstairs. Am I am in trouble for flaunting your wee manhood in front of the world? Or at least for flaunting in it front of all 69 of my readers? Ok totally going to hell for that.
Good luck to you J.
Ps. If you ever read this, I am totally talking about another J that I dated that was a fireman. Totally. It isn’t you. He just happened to use the same Chapstick line. But I hear a lot of guys use that line, so it totally wasn’t you I was referring. 🙂
You SUCK! You suck you suck you suck you suck!
No Mama has not abandoned you. I promise to return soon and to soak up your love and flood you with kisses. If it wasn’t for you, Mama couldn’t make it through this week at all knowing all of my shows were being saved in your perfect black little body. I promise this won’t last much longer.
WTF where you thinking!?!?! NO TV THIS WEEK!?!? Do you not see the raining and the flooding outside?? Are you not catching onto the fact that both you and Monkey have *mad* cabin fever? You need to seriously weigh your options here before you end up in a padded cell.
Dear Patio Furniture,
I am so sorry this is your life right now. Your feet must be so pickled. I would let you come in but… well you’re patio furniture. Sorry.
Dear Captcha Lovers,
Can you please give me one good reason why you REALLY need this on your blogs? I am seriously having issues with my computer wanting to boycott them right now. One major issue is that whenever I hit “Send” on my message in a hurry to get to the next blog, I click X and just as I see the captcha appear, the blog closes. I have NO interest in going and finding your blog again and retyping my whole comment again so usually then you just get a simple comment like “cool” because I am so irked that I had to come back to play a game of captcha ball in the first place that I don’t even care if I have left a suitable comment. (Yes that sentence was all one breath) And lately, I am getting to the point where I am seriously considering not commenting on them at all. Cause I feel so irritable about it. Does that make me a total bitch?
So I am asking, in all fairness… PLEASE… if you have a captcha… PLEASE… explain why. I wanna know. I really, really want to know. Change my mind on it. Kay?
Big Mama Cass
Why must you open and close the same door 9 BILLION (yes with a B) times even after I have asked you 9 B I L L I O N times to stop?? And why must you continue to SLAM it into my wall whenever you swing it open. The hole in Mommy’s wall will thank you to STOP IT. Nnnkay?
While we are on the subject, why do you continue to scale every single piece of furniture?? You have the speed of a stealth bomber! I blink and you are on top of the table holding the lamp! STOP IT!
Please, please STOP IT before you give Mommy a heart attack.
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by… again!