- When you wash your bras (and that is totally what I look like in my bra, by the way, lmao), do not hang them to dry where your toddler can reach them. Because when the doorbell rings, he will see this as the perfect opportunity to bring you said bras while he is also using them as a chew toy. Your lawn person may respond like mine with Deer in the Headlights face and just say “ummmm… uhhh… ok then” and walk off.
- Somewhere around 17 months of age, your toddler may decide that he no longer wants to sit still while you attempt to change his diaper. This will most commonly occur when he has had a SERIOUS bowel movement. Then the kicking, wiggling, and screaming will commence. But he will wait until you have started to remove the diaper before the “freak out” because he wants you to think that he is actually going to hold still so that you are both not covered in yuckiness by the end of the diaper change. Do not be fooled!! Use rope, rubber bands and/or duct tape if necessary.
- Anything that can be pushed around like a shopping cart will be. This includes trash cans, boxes of any sort, laundry baskets (especially when trying to fold clothes out of one or trying to place sorted dirty clothes into the basket) and sometimes even an end table. I advise against allowing the last if you have glass tables like me.
- If there is an open soda can or beer bottle within a hundred mile radius, an 18 month old will find it and dump its entire contents on your new carpet.
- When your child tries to show you some chocolate that is on his finger from a recently eaten cookie, it’s best not to taste it unless you smell it first to decipher if the brown smudge is indeed chocolate. This was brought to me by a friend’s experience. (Or was it?)
- When your toddler comes up to you and starts petting your bare leg like a dog, it’s time to think about upping your personal hygiene
- Taking a toddler shopping at a Wal-mart (with half broken air conditioning) for 2 hours when everyone else in your town is also shopping there (and sweating and smelling) and then having to wait in line for another 35 minutes is not how I would suggest spending a Saturday afternoon in 95 degree heat.
- Wash closely when your toddler is eating. Otherwise you may be forced to fish an entire bowl of goldfish crackers out of his mouth at the Olive Garden in front of hundreds of people. Complete with colored drool and screams of protest.
Well that is all the lessons I have for today 🙂 lol
What things have you learned from your toddler?
I don’t usually blog about giveaways, but I wanted to let you all in on a really good one. Go here if you are interested.