Someone pissed in Mama’s Cheerios this week, don’t take it personal. I am just a crabby pants. Might have something to do with the humongous hormone surge coursing through my veins, but I am over it anyway. Trust me so are others that are over it too, you aren’t the only one. So bear with me on my rant today. I will try to throw in some humor and niceties too. Promise.
Love you for sticking with me,
Today is the big day. Even though I know you didn’t get the medicine you were SUPPOSED to get last night because the doctors in this po-dunk town are effing STUPID and didn’t give me enough, please, please, please let Mama get some good news today.
Dear Fertility “Specialist”,
I am trying. Like REALLY, really trying. PLEASE. DO. NOT. MAKE. ME. SMACK. YOU.
Today when I looked up “Kapeesh” in your database to see if I was spelling it right, I was pleasantly surprised to see that your definition shows “The meaning is :If you don’t do this, your ass is mine.” LOVE IT!!
You made my day,
Bout ta smack ya,
Why must you tempt me so? Our relationship has gotten to a volatile state. Your abuse is ruining my complexion and my love for you always keeps me coming back for more. Please, for the love of me, remove your addiction from my brain. Eating an entire bag of your sweet, delicious peanut M&M’s is like 12318902512389057 calories, right? So, please, I beg you. Please. Stop torturing me. Please?
I will love you always,
Thank you gobs and gobs for messaging me on Facebook. You have made my brain go into “Melancholy Overdrive” and I love it. Fifteen years (gah! we are getting OLD) is far too long to have not heard from you. I am so glad we have reconnected.
Dear Barnacle Baby,
I know you need me now, but I do hope this is a passing phase. (so do the dust bunnies building up in our house because of your little “show” of affection lately) Making Mommy hold you all day every day isn’t going to do wonderful things for your self esteem, especially if this goes on till you leave for college. Your Prom date isn’t going to want Mommy there. Just something to think about.
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for reading!!