Archive for July, 2009


Truth be Told!



Because honesty is the best policy, here are some truths that were rattling around my head today.  Since my head never shuts up, you never know what truth will break its way to the surface.  I apologize up front that you have to endure this.  Enjoy.  Lol.

Truth # 1: PMS is a raging bitch and she is trying to kill me this week.  Even while I am spewing nonsensical angry remarks at those around me (the hubby), I know they are… well… nonsensical.  But I can’t help it.  I am blaming PMS because I can.  And my hormones said so. *insert screaming curse words here*

Truth # 2: Sometimes when I am driving on the highway with all the loonies of the Ark-La-Tex, I allow the road rage to take me over.  And while I have sworn off all hand gestures for the safety of my little passenger, I still tend to scream out obscenities, knowing full well it won’t be long before Monkey is repeating words much worse than “Shit”. Mama needs to learn to shut the hell up.

Truth # 3: Some days when I look in the mirror, I don’t see the yucky fat chick in the mirror even though I know she is there.  Those are good days.  I want one.  N.O.W.  nnkay?

Truth # 4: I sometimes hold unrealistic expectations for my husband even though I know they are ridiculous.  But I do it anyway.  And then I get upset with him when he doesn’t live up to them.  Yeah, I know. *shut up*

Truth # 5: Even though we are trying desperately to get pregnant again, there are some times… in the middle of the night… when Monkey refuses to sleep and is up screaming and wanting “MAMMMMMA” 12837190523 times and then wakes me up at FIVE-FRICKIN-AM that I think to myself… “Am I really ready for more kids?  Or is one enough?”

Ok.  That is all the truth I have in me for one day.  *sigh*

Do you have any Truths that you would like to share?

Please don’t forget to leave a comment!!   Thanks!



When Beasts Attack!

We have two wonderful Fur Babies living with us.  Jasmine Marie who is 7 and Daisy Mae who just turned 2.  They are *NOT* spoiled.

Here is a picture from their birthday party. 😀


We also have a wonderful Lawn Guy, David.  (I know this seems random, just follow me here.) David has been doing our lawn for a while now and does a fantastic job.  However, he has a monumental fear of dogs.  Yesterday he rang the bell and I answered without putting the dogs out (since he had the gates open in the backyard to mow).

My girls are just as nosy and needy attention whores as I am.  So out runs Jazz, full force, to greet him.  Wouldn’t this face make you smile?


Not him.  He FREAKED!  Like jumping up and down, screaming “omg’ omg, it’s gonna get me!!” while I tried to entice her back into the house (in my jammies of course! don’t judge!).

Now while I understand a fear is a fear.  And that the size of the “beast” doesn’t matter and all.  And I totally respect that he has a fear.  I have gone out of my way to make sure the dogs don’t come into contact with him since he started doing our lawn.

*But*  It is pretty funny to see a 175 pound man jumping up and down screaming like a girl.  With a scary Toy Pug at his feet.


She looks so ‘gansta’ in this pic.  LOVE IT!

I had to hold back my laughter.  It was just too much.

After I got her back in the house, I even offered to let him see that the girls were both small and harmless.  Jazz stands all of 10 inches tall and Daisy might top the charts at 14 inches tall.

He wasn’t comfortable checking them out but said simply “oooh ok… so’s they ain’t so big there, is they?” I tried to assure him that they would never ever, ever bite him, harm him, or chew off his leg, but he looked unconvinced.  Guess he won’t be offering to play with them any time soon.  *giggle*


See how sweet Miss Daisy Mae is???

Do you have any fears?  What are they?  How long have you had them?

Happy Saturday!!  Hope everyone is having a fantastic day!!!



Hubby had to add this:

If any of you gullable folks out there believe my wife…well it is a good thing that I am here to set the record straight. You see, Jasmine Marie (aka Jazz) IS a GANGSTA. Family is most important to her, she lays around expecting complete and total care, she eats ANYTHING she can get her mouth around, she will take no sh!t from nobody, and she WILL bite your face off if you cross her. We truly do love her.

Daisy Mae on the other hand…sure…she looks sweet and all, but daisy is like the hitman of the gang. She is quiet, sneaky, and armed with claws and teeth that will tear you up! She is fast and fiesty and she does whatever Jazz tells her to do. We truly love her.

So if you come-a-knockin, I suggest you bring gifts and conduct yourself in a respectful manner. We all know how much GANGSTAs love gifts and hate to be disrespected.


hehehe!! he cracks me up!


Dear So and So Friday…

Dear So and So...

So, apparently, I did the “Dear So and So” blog on the wrong day.  After reading blogs this morning, I found out that it was for Friday.  I didn’t know it was a specific day.  *Whoops* Now I do.  And you’re in luck because I have some more letters up my sleeve today.  🙂  Yay for you.


Dear Skin,

It has been almost two weeks since the Sun brutally burned you.  I know you are still pissed, but PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEEEEEEASE, stop peeling.  I am running out of lotion.

Now I know what a snake feels like,



Dear DJ Quik of the Texarkana Taco Bell,

While I am guessing that your real name is not DJ Quik, even though your handwritten nametag says so, I really want to thank you for an enlightening experience in fast food dining the other day.

I tried to be polite and let it go when I pulled up to the drive thru and you asked me if it was “for here or to go”.  But I just couldn’t understand how after I ordered “two bean burritos, that’s all” your response was “that will be $12.87, please pull around”.  Ummm…. Wait.  “No, sir, I’m sorry, I just wanted two bean burritos and that is all.” was my dumbfounded statement.  I understand you were frustrated with me for not wanting to pay six and a half dollars for a burrito, and I understand that you were even more frustrated with me when I chose to give you a credit card to pay for my two dollars in burritos.  However, it was ever so kind of you to fill my bag with not two burritos.  Not three burritos.  But FOUR burritos and a weird red taco.

Going to Del Taco next time,



Dear Monkey,

I understand that you have just realized you have a voice.  A *LOUD* voice.  And I know that the first 19023874190 times that you showed it off to me, I laughed.  But… the game is up buddy.  Mommy doesn’t see the humor anymore.

Love you bunches,



Dear Scale in my bathroom,

You must be broken.  Or you are evil and just like to watch me cry.

Don’t forget I own a hammer,



Dear Ovaries,

Please do your job this month!  PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE!  I am putting a lot of hope in you right now so do yer thang!  Kiss kiss!



Dear Readers,

If you would like to participate in Dear So and So, click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Thanks for reading!!




WTF is up with my neighbors?!?!


Of course, for those who haven’t already guessed, I am talking about me.  I am one of those people who always prefers to know what my neighbors are up to.  Partly it is just because I am nosy but it is also for safety concerns.

Like if there is a crime committed on the block, I like to think that if the cops came to me, I could be the one to put a break in the case! 🙂  Also, I like to make sure I know the cars on the block so that if there is a weirdo sitting in his car staking out a house he is about to rob (like mine), then I wanna know about it. I don’t think this is weird… it just is who I am.

If there is a cop car parked outside, I watch and make sure there isn’t a masked man lurking in my bushes.

If there is a fire truck passing by, I look to make sure there isn’t a fire coming to wipe out my house.

I am up front with my nosiness.  I don’t pretend that I am not nosy.  All my neighbors know it and I don’t care.

But because I am so nosy and always looking out my windows keeping up with everyone’s business *grin* I see a lot.  I notice weird quirks about my neighbors.  Today I am referring specifically to my crazy Southern Baptist neighbor, Jeff.  (I mean no offense to Southern Baptists… just pointing out that you are… err… well… different… then a non Southern Baptist person such as myself)

I live in a corner house.  Our houses are mirror images of each other.  So my kitchen faces his kitchen.  And I spend a lot of time in my kitchen so I see pretty much everything that goes on over there.

On the back side of my house is a huge open area of land that is what I most accurately call “The Forest out back” (if of course a forest was about 10,000 sq ft of trees and trash).  Anyway, back on point… People like to dump their garbage there and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!  I don’t want garbage sitting just feet from my front lawn like a DUMP!  Since Jeff’s yard also backs this field, it would be assumed that he dislikes the trash as much as me, right?

Nope.  Apparently not.

Here is a good example:

I am feeding the Monkey his dinner and glance out the window to see Jeff pushing a wheelbarrow out of his garage, and watch him push it up my driveway, over my lawn and to the field.  To which I then hear CRAASSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!

OH. MY. GAWD!!  He is DUMPING!  On MY side!!

Now it’s one thing that ALL of my neighbors seem to think it is ok to drive up over my lawn in their riding lawn mowers to dump their grass into the field.  I try to be the polite neighbor and not say anything, but inside I am SCREEEEAMING.  But… I am already a bitch, so why fuel the fire? Right?

Anyway, back to the dumping.  So… I was LIVID!  So what does a livid mama do to stop the dumping?  The first logical thing of course!  I throw the baby on my hip and stomp out wearing my plaid pajamas at 6 in the afternoon.  (Barefoot, of course.)

Let’s just say for shits and giggles that I was in my pajamas at 6 in the afternoon because I put them on a little early that night.  And let’s not assume that I had been wearing them all day.  Just go along with me here.

So, I stomp up to Jeff, baby on hip, red faced preparing to give him a piece of my mind:

Me: (yelling over the loud crashing noises) JEFF!! JEFF!!  HELLLOOOO!!!  JEFFFFFF!!!

…he stops what he is doing and causally walks over like he is just out for an evening little stroll… IN MY YARD

Me: Umm…?  What are you doing?

Jeff: Oh hi, Cassi.  How about this heat, huh?  Sure is a killer.

M: Uhh… yeah it’s pretty hot, crazy… Umm  What are you doing??

(yes I do say Umm and Uhh a lot… my brain is slow… dont judge me)

J: They say it’s supposed to get to 105 this week.

M: Yeah but what are you dumping???

J:  I am just getting the kitchen remodeled.

M:  Is that BROKEN TILE?!?!?!  Are you DUMPING BROKEN TILE?!?!?

J:  Oh, yeah, I am getting my kitchen redone.

The look on his face says he cannot understand my dismay.  Which just pisses me off further.  So then to make a long story short (I know, too late), he tries to convince me that the tile is not going to be any big deal and that “everybody does it”.  I seriously had to threaten to call the police to get him to remove the tile!  It took me a good 15 minutes of bitching and telling him that I didn’t care how they do things here in the south (which was his excuse by the way, “this is the way it’s done down here” he said) but that I wanted the tile removed because it was clearly a hazard not to mention ILLEGAL!

Why oh why?!?!

Finally he did, reluctantly, remove the tile.  But lets just say he isn’t going to be house sitting for me anytime soon.  Nnnkay??  *humph*

Do you have any loony neighbor stories to share?  I have at least 55 reads a day, so if you are out there, please let me a comment, will ya?  Help fuel my need for attention?  🙂




In the Land of Monkey’s Mama


My son aka: Monkey never fails to keep me on my toes.  For a 17 month old kid, he sure keeps the comedy going.  Of course I love every minute of it.

I am completely convinced that in his last life he was a Spanish speaking Soap Opera lover.  His favorite show is Hola Bebé and he can sit and watch soaps (Spanish or English) without movement.  I know, I know, soaps aren’t appropriate 17 month old entertainment.  But I am telling you, he LOVES All My Children.  And that’s not so bad, right?

For lunch today, I made turkey sandwiches and as always cut his up into tiny little perfect triangles.  He promptly gave all of his to the dogs.  Guess I should give up my dreams of opening a deli.

Today is day number two of his 2nd worst diaper rash of all time.  His bum is actually bleeding.  The first time this happened was when he was only a few weeks old and lemme tell you, it wasn’t a picnic then either.  Now, don’t go calling Child Care Services on me.  I am an *excellent* mother.  So the diaper rash is not from lack of motherly love or devoted diaper changing.  But regardless, it doesn’t make me feel any better.  When he cries I cry.  I can’t help it.  I know this doesn’t help the crying, because it just makes him cry worse, but I really can’t help it.  I just want to die when he is in that pain.

So in the spirit of “air it out” diaper fashion, he has been running around for about the last 30 minutes in his birthday suit.  Thus, “airing out” his tush.    I hope it helps because his poor butt is screaming red.  *ouch*  Last time we played the “Airing out” game, we then had to play the “carpet cleaning” game.  Let’s pray he doesn’t plan a redo of that one.  Meanwhile, his P.K.G. is getting a LOT of extra *ahem* attention.  Hope he doesn’t hurt himself.

He has decided that as of today, he no longer can walk around safely without his beloved blue blanket.  Somehow, while he was sleeping, his brain told him that he cannot let the blue blanket leave his grip.  And there it has stayed all day long.  I even had to fold it and put it on his lap for him to eat breakfast and lunch.  I tried to take it away but the screams made me worry the glass would break in my house, so I gave in.  As of this moment, he is toddling around singing and waving the blue blanket behind him like a tail.  Maybe we should start calling him Linus.



Dear So and So,

Dear So and So...

I first heard about this from Cammie who apparently got the idea from Kat . I have been seeing a lot of blogs like these recently and/or variations of them.  So I have decided to participate.  Because I have some letters of my own to share.


Dear FeedDemon,

Please, please, please start working correctly.  I am missing several new blogs and am pretty darn peeved about it.  What the heck am I doing wrong?  Am I not giving you enough attention?  Me thinks not.

About Ready to Switch Readers,



Dear Sister in Law,

I don’t care if you deleted me from you Facebook page.  For the SECOND TIME!!!  Even though EVERYONE else in the family is FINE with their pictures being posted from our VACATION!  I am done hoping that you will like me some day and I am DONE walking on egg shells for you.  So there.  Pbbbt!



Dear Dish Network,

Please stop putting pop up messages on my Television!!  I know I need to send a payment.  I already get enough pop ups on my computer!  I don’t need them on my TV too!

Quit it or I will… just pout some more,



Dear Monkey,

I know you want my undivided attention every single second of every single day, but Mommy needs to do other stuff than hold you and play cars all day.  Please meet me half way.  And when I say meet me half way, I do NOT mean throw yourself on the ground kicking and screaming when I set you down so that I can answer the phone.  Nnnkay?  Thanks.




Dear My Own Personal Maid,

Please let God send you to me so that you may work for free and help me salvage what is left of my house.  I wish to see the carpet again and you are my only hope.  *sigh*  If you exist, please, please… call me.




Dear Hubby,

Thank you for being patient with me right now even though I am being a hormonal bitch.  And thank you for not saying anything even though the last 2 days that you have come home from work, I have still been in my pajamas.  I know this hormonal roller coaster is just going to get worse, but knowing I have you in my corner makes it all the more bearable.  I love you for being you.  Thank you.


Your Bitchy Wife


Dear Strange ‘door to door’ Guy who can’t read my “the baby is sleeping, DO NOT RING BELL” sign and RANG THE BELL ANYWAY,

Sorry I yelled at you this morning.  But HELLO! There is a sign!  I made it and everything!  Even though it’s just a post it note, it was there! In orange capitol letters!  I don’t know what you were trying to sell me, but I assure you, I would have been a much easier mark had you NOT RANG THE DAMN BELL!  I will be hanging a “No Soliciting” sign now because of you.

Go Away,


P.S.  I hope your knee is ok.  Maybe if you learn to PAY ATTENTION then you would have not walked into the side of my brick wall when you turned to flee.  Paying attention would have also helped you see my ‘DO NOT RING BELL’ sign!  Just sayin.


Dear Readers,

Thank you for listening reading my babble.  I know it can be annoying and time consuming.  So thanks.

If you would like to participate in Dear So and So, click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.

Hope to see you again soon!



My Band

One blog I follow religiously is the Lovely Molly of Luminaire Images (aka: my favorite photographer of all time) and she posted this blog today. I just had to re-post because it was so fun!


The rules are:
1. Go to “wikipedia.” Hit “random article” or click
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2. Go to “Random quotations” or click
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3. Go to Flickr and click on “explore the last seven days” or click
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4. Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

5. Post it up!

I just thought that was so fun! 🙂  Hope you play along!


about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


my photography page:



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my validation!