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Dear Karen,
I know you are the “liaison” that I am supposed to speak to at Fertility Specialists of Dallas, however, you have a really shitty attitude and I have about had it up to here! Please stop thinking the world revolves around you and learn a thing or two about CUSTOMER SERVICE. Need I remind you I am giving your office my child’s college fund for the hopes of another pregnancy? So, yeah, try to remember that next time I am being OVERLY nice to you even though you deserve obscenities and a smack.
Got it?
Cass
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Dear Hubby,
You rock. Seriously! You are so amazing and I am so lucky to have you. I know I am going through some serious mood swings right now and I know it isn’t easy. I can see that look that you sometimes get on your face where your mind is deciding whether to tell me to shut the hell up (which is what I deserve) or being the sweet agreeable husband that I need lately. I so love that you are choosing the later.
Love,
Your devoted, cranky, irritable, but very loving wife
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Dear Baby Teeth,
Get on with it already! My poor kid is now chewing on my poor couch! Must you constantly grow?!? I plead with you to just GET IN THERE already and give Monkey some peace.
Running out of Infant Midol,
Mama
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Dear Adult Acne,
It wasn’t enough that you drove me crazy over my teen years. And then drove me bonkers as a young adult. But to come back again in my thirties? That is just true love right there. Thanks so much for making me feel like a teenager again. It is totally swell.
Seriously though? Vacate the premises or Mama is going to get drastic.
Can’t really do anything about it except complain,
Me
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Dear Monkey,
I know you feel the need to be held by me 24/7 right now, and while I would LOVE to hold you always, there are just some things Mama can’t do with you in her arms. Like vacuuming, driving, showering, making the bed, or trying to use the bathroom. Although the latter, you really seem to think is a bonding moment. It isn’t. Just so you know.
Love you even though you are super needy and making me a tiny bit crazy right now,
Mama
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Dear Mosquito that bit me on the tip of my nose last weekend,
Thank you so much for your love bite. However the huge swollen bump on my nose that most resembles a zit has made me feel like Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer all week. Clearly I already have issues with my complexion (see above) so you aren’t helping matters much. Not to mention my depth perception is all thrown off because I keep seeing a big red spot in my line of vision where my nose once used to reside.
Please mention to all your nasty mosquito friends that I will not take kindly to this kind of abuse any longer. Why must you all feast on me like Thanksgiving dinner? It may have been a little funny when you thought to bite me on my rear end so that I was forced to walk around scratching my butt all day. And it might even have been a good giggle when you got me right on my boob so that I had to pretend to want to hug everyone, even strangers to get a little itch out of the deal. But I assure you, this most recent event has been the final straw. I will… probably do nothing… but you better be scared anyway.
Jerks,
Tasty Skinned Mosquito Magnet
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Dear Poopy Diapers,
You are becoming more *gag* alarmingly *gag* disgusting. Please stop.
Kay thanks,
The Diaper Changer
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Dear Readers,
If you would like to participate in Dear So and So, click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page.
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for reading!!
xoxo
HAHAHA…how funny!!!
🙂
I so feel ya on the adult acne right now. I have already taken drastic measures, but of course they can’t be too drastic seeing as I am allergic to 90% of acne zapping products.
Ewww… that would sort of defeat the purpose, no? lol
You’re so great. It makes me laugh every time I read your blog. You are quite good.
Hope all is well.
Ps. Guitar hero is a great way to unwind on a Friday!!
Thanks 😀
Guitar Hero, eh? is THAT how you are spending your time in Germany?!? lol
You are adorable! I am 43 and this adult acne business is crap! I have a huge zonker on my cheek that just showed up overnight….of course, it makes it’s grand appearance the weekend I have to be out and about socially….stupid zit….
I LOVE your blog!
lol oh yeah, i got one on my chest the day before we had to put on our swimsuits… oh love that! lol
and thanks 🙂
Thank God the diapers eventually go away. However, then you have to go through the, “Mommy, can you wipe my poop?” stage. By the time they’re four or five, you’re out of the woods. You sure you want to start this process all over?
I hate crabby “customer service” people – don’t they know the customer’s always right?
Please stop by for my 100th post: Life Makes Me Laugh
Can’t wait for MORE poop wiping! haha
There is no such thing as customer service in this town. That’s what I am learning. *sigh*
LMAO!!!! That’s hilarious! My receptionist for my fertility doc is a snatch too.
She’s like, “I have your appointment set for Monday! But don’t be bitter because that’s our “pregnant lady” day and I don’t want you to get all upset.”
I was like….WTF??
WHAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?! Are you SERIOUS!?!?! OHHHMYYYGAWWWWWWWWWWWWWD! Now I am livid about that receptionist! You should egg her next time you see her. Just walk up to her at the desk and pelt her with an egg and then say “oops! i dont want you to get all upset” and then laugh… thats what I would do. (or dream of doing anyway :))
Awww, Monkey! He just wants to be held… at least you’re getting an arm workout! 😉
oi.. your not kidding!
Best. blog. ever. 🙂 Why is it that kiss-off notes are so inspiring?
In other news, if you think those diapers are bad now..try not to remember what happens to your sense of smell during pregnancy. Good grief lol. Ah, memories. 😛
Oh yeah… that should be fun 🙂 lol
Heehe, this post made me laugh, especially the thought of you hugging everybody so you can itch your boob. Priceless!
LOL Glad you liked it 🙂
Oh my I almost feel guilty for laughing…almost…but boy can i relate to the adult acne
“Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest”
yeah its fun, isn’t it? haha
This is a great way to start a new post!
I’m playing!
thanks for stopping in!
Thanks 🙂 I can’t take the credit though. But I am sure Kat would love another player!! 🙂
That mosquito got me, too.
LOL!
Mosquito’s are EVIL!!!
Receptionist letter… i pretty much understand… they are such a pain in the *toot* *toot*!
Love the letter for Chuck… From what you wrote… He sounds so amazing… C”,)
Baby Teeth.. will be over pretty soon… Poor Jimmy… Just give it more time…
Smack that damn Mosquito C”,)
lol
yes he is amazing
tryyying to give the teeth time 🙂
again I say… mosquito’s are evil! lol
Visiting from Sits, Great So and So letters! Greetings from Los Angeles.
thanks for visiting!! 🙂
this is pretty funny and sometimes you just need to get some stuff off of your chest!
MOST of the time I have to get stuff off my chest! hahahaha!!
This is so funny! Maybe I’ll try this next week 🙂
I especially like the one about baby teeth and poopy dipers!
Thanks!! I try to do it every week! 🙂
Oh this is hialrious! These are some things that goes throught my head sometime. Amazing how we are kinda same in our thinking.
The receptionist in the fertility clinic are also not very nice- don’t they realize they have a job because of us- the patients?
lol wow!
and yes, i don’t understand why they think they can act the way they do!