WTF is up with my neighbors?!?!


Of course, for those who haven’t already guessed, I am talking about me.  I am one of those people who always prefers to know what my neighbors are up to.  Partly it is just because I am nosy but it is also for safety concerns.

Like if there is a crime committed on the block, I like to think that if the cops came to me, I could be the one to put a break in the case! 🙂  Also, I like to make sure I know the cars on the block so that if there is a weirdo sitting in his car staking out a house he is about to rob (like mine), then I wanna know about it. I don’t think this is weird… it just is who I am.

If there is a cop car parked outside, I watch and make sure there isn’t a masked man lurking in my bushes.

If there is a fire truck passing by, I look to make sure there isn’t a fire coming to wipe out my house.

I am up front with my nosiness.  I don’t pretend that I am not nosy.  All my neighbors know it and I don’t care.

But because I am so nosy and always looking out my windows keeping up with everyone’s business *grin* I see a lot.  I notice weird quirks about my neighbors.  Today I am referring specifically to my crazy Southern Baptist neighbor, Jeff.  (I mean no offense to Southern Baptists… just pointing out that you are… err… well… different… then a non Southern Baptist person such as myself)

I live in a corner house.  Our houses are mirror images of each other.  So my kitchen faces his kitchen.  And I spend a lot of time in my kitchen so I see pretty much everything that goes on over there.

On the back side of my house is a huge open area of land that is what I most accurately call “The Forest out back” (if of course a forest was about 10,000 sq ft of trees and trash).  Anyway, back on point… People like to dump their garbage there and it DRIVES ME CRAZY!!  I don’t want garbage sitting just feet from my front lawn like a DUMP!  Since Jeff’s yard also backs this field, it would be assumed that he dislikes the trash as much as me, right?

Nope.  Apparently not.

Here is a good example:

I am feeding the Monkey his dinner and glance out the window to see Jeff pushing a wheelbarrow out of his garage, and watch him push it up my driveway, over my lawn and to the field.  To which I then hear CRAASSSSSSHHHHH!!!!!!

OH. MY. GAWD!!  He is DUMPING!  On MY side!!

Now it’s one thing that ALL of my neighbors seem to think it is ok to drive up over my lawn in their riding lawn mowers to dump their grass into the field.  I try to be the polite neighbor and not say anything, but inside I am SCREEEEAMING.  But… I am already a bitch, so why fuel the fire? Right?

Anyway, back to the dumping.  So… I was LIVID!  So what does a livid mama do to stop the dumping?  The first logical thing of course!  I throw the baby on my hip and stomp out wearing my plaid pajamas at 6 in the afternoon.  (Barefoot, of course.)

Let’s just say for shits and giggles that I was in my pajamas at 6 in the afternoon because I put them on a little early that night.  And let’s not assume that I had been wearing them all day.  Just go along with me here.

So, I stomp up to Jeff, baby on hip, red faced preparing to give him a piece of my mind:

Me: (yelling over the loud crashing noises) JEFF!! JEFF!!  HELLLOOOO!!!  JEFFFFFF!!!

…he stops what he is doing and causally walks over like he is just out for an evening little stroll… IN MY YARD

Me: Umm…?  What are you doing?

Jeff: Oh hi, Cassi.  How about this heat, huh?  Sure is a killer.

M: Uhh… yeah it’s pretty hot, crazy… Umm  What are you doing??

(yes I do say Umm and Uhh a lot… my brain is slow… dont judge me)

J: They say it’s supposed to get to 105 this week.

M: Yeah but what are you dumping???

J:  I am just getting the kitchen remodeled.

M:  Is that BROKEN TILE?!?!?!  Are you DUMPING BROKEN TILE?!?!?

J:  Oh, yeah, I am getting my kitchen redone.

The look on his face says he cannot understand my dismay.  Which just pisses me off further.  So then to make a long story short (I know, too late), he tries to convince me that the tile is not going to be any big deal and that “everybody does it”.  I seriously had to threaten to call the police to get him to remove the tile!  It took me a good 15 minutes of bitching and telling him that I didn’t care how they do things here in the south (which was his excuse by the way, “this is the way it’s done down here” he said) but that I wanted the tile removed because it was clearly a hazard not to mention ILLEGAL!

Why oh why?!?!

Finally he did, reluctantly, remove the tile.  But lets just say he isn’t going to be house sitting for me anytime soon.  Nnnkay??  *humph*

Do you have any loony neighbor stories to share?  I have at least 55 reads a day, so if you are out there, please let me a comment, will ya?  Help fuel my need for attention?  🙂




8 Responses to “WTF is up with my neighbors?!?!”

  1. 1 PittWin
    July 16, 2009 at 3:27 pm

    I would have done the same thing you did. I am the Jeff of Germany. while I would never dump trash in a field, my neighbors no less; In my apartment building, they separate everything in the trash. I do not have time for this, so I just throw ALL my trash in the garbage can. I don’t think they like this too much, and they make off hand comments to Sisse. Is it wrong to play the role of ignorant American?

    • 2 bigmamacass
      July 16, 2009 at 6:37 pm

      Ummm… I am going to have to say… NO IT ISN’T OK Tom!!! Tisk Tisk! I would be the annoying neighbor screaming at you. Totally. Can’t you get some bins to separate the trash as you have it? Thus making it better for the environment AND your neighbors?? *grin* 😀

  2. 3 Jfer
    July 16, 2009 at 5:36 pm

    Oh I am sooo glad to hear that I’m not the only bitchy neighbor! I have at least three different neighbors (that I know of) that hate me. One thinks I killed his cat because it happened to disappear after I had repeatedly asked him to keep it in his house and out of my yard (long story, but I can assure you that I’m an animal lover and I didn’t.) He then spit on my friends car after he parked inches away from her bumper to block her in because she parked in front of his house. The neighbor next to him believes that we tried to kill another stray cat (again long story, but we were actually trying to protect it from predators). And the last neighbor hates us because we asked them to stop shooting off illegal fireworks since they were landing on our cars and house and we were in the middle of a drought. They reasoned with us that they were not the only people in the neighborhood shooting off illegal fireworks. Oh o.k. well go ahead then…. let me grab my purse, then you can go ahead and burn down my house. AHHHHHHHH I hate my neighbors!! Thanks for letting me vent with you. 🙂

    • 4 bigmamacass
      July 16, 2009 at 6:38 pm

      Oh. My. Gawd! I took care of your kitty once while you were on vacation, remember. Honeymoon was it? Anyhoo… I KNOW you are an animal lover. How crazy! Neighbors suck. This is why I want to have some land. But if we move back to Denver, that is CLEARLY not an option!! lol

      Thanks for venting!! 😀

  3. 5 Amanda
    July 16, 2009 at 10:29 pm

    LMFAO. Jennifer forgot to mention the neighbors that I’m sure hate her by now for calling the cops on them after they “misplaced” their 2 year old TWICE!!!!! This is a story worth telling.

    She was driving down the street and saw a 2 year old with no parent. She looped back only to find her eyes were not playing tricks on her. In fact the child was no where near it’s own home, and there were no parents in sight. Cops were called, parents located…end of story right?

    2 weeks (or so) later, same kid wondering around, STILL no parents!!!! This time she knew where the kid lived, so she tried to return him. She knocked on the door, no answer, rang the doorbell, no answer. Went back home, and Keith decided to give it a try. Their garage door was open so he walked up and YELLED inside. HELLO!?! ANYONE HERE?!!? No answer. What are you supposed to do right? So they called the cops AGAIN. What do you know the second the cops show up, 4 people come stumbling out of the house including both parents. They had been home the entire time. Hmmmmm.

    The parents take the kid without even a “thanks for not kidnapping or killing my kid” and leave. All we know is they got a stern warning from police that this WILL be the last time this happens.

    Pretty sure those neighbors don’t like them anymore either, even though again, they did nothing wrong. WTH is wrong with people?

    My only problem is a neighbor with a broken down pool full of dirty water. I’m convinced he’s a terrorist trying to kill everyone around him with west nile from his mequito farm. LOL.

    Good luck everyone!!

    • 6 bigmamacass
      July 16, 2009 at 11:25 pm

      OH. MY. GAWD!!! Ok the 2 year old on the lose is TOTALLY FREAKING ME OUT!
      I am a WAY overprotective Mama. My kid isn’t even allowed to walk around in our front yard. He has to be held. Only walks in the backyard. (Cars don’t drive around back there) That would FREAK me out! I would be calling the cops every time I saw that kid step foot out the front door! Jen, protect that kid!!

      Broken down pool? *shudder* Sounds creepy. But I guarantee there are not NEAR as many mosquitoes around that pool as there are living in my backyard. TRUST ME when I say this. My backyard is like Mosquito New York. Mosquitoes live and work in my backyard and they go to your backyard (Mosquito Tropical Island) for vacation to “get away from the rat race and relax”. At least that’s what the brochure they have been carrying around with a picture of your neighbors pool on it says. *grin*

    • 7 Jfer
      July 17, 2009 at 11:33 am

      Hahahaha Yes, I forgot to add them to the list! I just have to clarify that it was only ONE week later that I found the kid again. Can you believe that?!? I haven’t seen him since though….. O.k. so that’s four neighbors that hate me. I’m sure I’ll be adding more to the list soon! 🙂

      Amanda – I’m guessing the mosquito farmer was in Detroit?

      Cassi – You should move away from Mosquito New York and come back to Colorado. I think you and I should be neighbors. I promise I won’t dump trash in the field and bonus, I won’t let your boy wander off by himself either. 🙂 I’m pretty sure you would never accuse me of animal cruelty and that you would never set my house on fire with fireworks, so we’d probably work well together. Hahaha

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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


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