Hole in my heart

We saw the fertility specialist today.  On my birthday.  Not good.  Hubby is not on board.  We don’t go forward.  That added on to the arguing about it makes this by far the worst birthday of my life.  No more babies.  I feel like there is a hole in my heart.  Nobody understands.

7 Responses to “Hole in my heart”

  1. April 18, 2009 at 9:24 pm

    Why is he not on board?

    And, I did not realize that it was your birthday. I am sorry that I missed it. Happy belated birthday… for what it is worth.

    • 2 bigmamacass
      April 19, 2009 at 3:34 pm

      for several reasons… the chances of multiples goes up.. that freaks him out… it is what it is… i just feel so defeated and he wont talk to me at all… he STILL isn’t talking to me.. so now i am just fuckin pissed about the whole thing… my birthday THAT HE RUINED and my sadness over no more babies… its horrible. I am now in a funk that I can’t get out of. 😦

  2. 4 sethe
    April 28, 2009 at 4:51 am

    hmmm, so this is the reason why you were so sad friend. HUGS!

  3. May 21, 2009 at 7:22 am

    Well saying Happy Birthday seems silly when you had such a bad one, but there it is anyway. Did he just drop this on you? A sudden change of heart?

    • 7 bigmamacass
      May 30, 2009 at 11:47 am

      Aww thanks darlin! All is better now 🙂 He freaked for many reasons. I understand it but was sad. Our chances of multiples goes up 30% when we go to injections. Which is our next step.

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about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


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