This blog was originally posted on MySpace.
Well, this has surely been an interesting trip thus far to say the least. Today was the first two viewings. Viewings. Such an interesting term, don’t you think? We have our first “viewing” of Uncle George in a casket. What are we to view? That his spirit has left his body? That he is no longer with us? Isn’t that kind of obvious? I just really don’t understand the whole viewing thing. I don’t understand why it’s done. I don’t feel that saying goodbye to a body that is lifeless has meaning. Call me cynical, call me whatever you want, but I think this whole thing is just crazy. I feel that once your life leaves your body to move on, that your body is just a body. It’s gone. I have no interest in seeing, speaking too or god forbid touching that body. I know many of you are right now turning your nose at me and that is ok. This is just how I feel and I am not asking anyone to feel the way that I do.
So tomorrow there are two more viewings. Two more two hour episodes of “viewing” Uncle George. I would rather look at his picture. I would rather look at him when he was full of life and before cancer overtook his body and forced his soul to move on to a better place.
Cancer is such a horrible thing. It takes over the heart and mind of its hostage and makes them who they would have never been. It can cause them to speak and act as though they have been possessed by something that we have never known them to be. We watch it consumes their bodies and hear their words become foreign. In a word… it sucks. Sucks big time.
I was given a prayer card today at the funeral home of where Uncle George is spending his “viewing” time. I read it and felt many mixed feelings. It goes like this…
What Cancer Cannot Do
Cancer is so limited
It cannot cripple Love
It cannot shatter Hope
It cannot corrode Faith
It cannot destroy Peace
It cannot kill Friendship
It cannot suppress Memories
It cannot silence Courage
It cannot invade the Soul
It cannot steal eternal Life
It cannot conquer the Spirit
Maybe I am still so angry with Cancer and what it can do. So maybe that is why I am having trouble seeing these things. Maybe I still need time to heal. Maybe I am naïve. But then again, maybe I just see that Cancer can cripple, shatter, corrode, destroy, suppress, silence, invade, steal and finally conquer and kill. Maybe this is why I don’t know what to make of the prayer card that I was given.