Diary of trip to Pittsburgh part 3

This blog was originally posted on MySpace.


Well, this has surely been an interesting trip thus far to say the least.  Today was the first two viewings.  Viewings.  Such an interesting term, don’t you think?  We have our first “viewing” of Uncle George in a casket.  What are we to view?  That his spirit has left his body?  That he is no longer with us?  Isn’t that kind of obvious?  I just really don’t understand the whole viewing thing.  I don’t understand why it’s done.  I don’t feel that saying goodbye to a body that is lifeless has meaning.  Call me cynical, call me whatever you want, but I think this whole thing is just crazy.  I feel that once your life leaves your body to move on, that your body is just a body.  It’s gone.  I have no interest in seeing, speaking too or god forbid touching that body.  I know many of you are right now turning your nose at me and that is ok.  This is just how I feel and I am not asking anyone to feel the way that I do.

So tomorrow there are two more viewings.  Two more two hour episodes of “viewing” Uncle George.  I would rather look at his picture.  I would rather look at him when he was full of life and before cancer overtook his body and forced his soul to move on to a better place.
Cancer is such a horrible thing.  It takes over the heart and mind of its hostage and makes them who they would have never been.  It can cause them to speak and act as though they have been possessed by something that we have never known them to be.  We watch it consumes their bodies and hear their words become foreign.  In a word… it sucks.  Sucks big time.

I was given a prayer card today at the funeral home of where Uncle George is spending his “viewing” time.  I read it and felt many mixed feelings.  It goes like this…

What Cancer Cannot Do

Cancer is so limited

It cannot cripple Love

It cannot shatter Hope

It cannot corrode Faith

It cannot destroy Peace

It cannot kill Friendship

It cannot suppress Memories

It cannot silence Courage

It cannot invade the Soul

It cannot steal eternal Life

It cannot conquer the Spirit

Maybe I am still so angry with Cancer and what it can do.  So maybe that is why I am having trouble seeing these things.  Maybe I still need time to heal.  Maybe I am naïve.  But then again, maybe I just see that Cancer can cripple, shatter, corrode, destroy, suppress, silence, invade, steal and finally conquer and kill.  Maybe this is why I don’t know what to make of the prayer card that I was given.



about moi…

Hi, my name is Cass. I am married to an amazing man who loves me unconditionally. I’m a stay at home mom to a rockin’ 2 year old boy who I call Monkey. I have an 12 year old step-daughter who lives in another state. We miss her daily. We also have two fur babies, Daisy and Jazz, who keep us on our toes. They are awesome!

I am a complete goofball, a photographer and a constant out loud thinker. I am a grammar challenged, vulgar, cursing, sex obsessed Big Mama fumbling through life. Among other things, I battle PCOS causing infertility, Bi Polar, Anxiety and OCD.

Currently I am riding the fertility roller coaster in an attempt to make Monkey #2. This blog is about a little of everything. I hope you enjoy. Read at your own risk!


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