A Pity Party and a Picture

Soooo, a friend of mine is finding out the sex of her baby today.  She is pregnant.  We were due the same time.  Then I of course lost the pregnancy and she is still pregnant.  I am so happy for her but so totally bummed that I am no longer pregnant.  I am trying to stay positive and hopeful for when we do get pregnant but I can’t help but feel the sting a little.

I have to finish packing.  Our Big Adventure begins tomorrow!  I am trying to pretend I don’t notice the fact that Monkey is trying to make me CRrrrRAaaaaAAZZZzzzYYYyyY with his insensate NON.STOP.WHINING!  PMS and non stop whining?  Recipe for disaster.

Or recipe for earth shattering M.I.G.R.A.I.N.E. that I had to not only endure in torturing pain last night but then I had to go and force Hubby to leave work early and come home so that I could let him endure it as well.

These are the times Tequila Shots are made of.

As promised, a pic…

I’m Back! Monday Dribble

Happy Monday!

First let me just say thank you to everyone who sent the wonderful emails and messages last week.  The D&C was done last Monday and I am feeling much better to have put it behind us.  I just needed to take the week last week to just recoup and be with my family.  It was good for me to do that and I think it helped a lot with the healing/grieving process.

We saw the NEW awesome Dr W today for my post-op follow up.  He thinks that we should be ready to begin the process again in December.  So that is what we are going to shoot for.  Time will tell how my body reacts to everything and what the exact time frame will be but I am very optimistic that next time we will get a healthy pregnancy.

So moving on to funnier things, since that’s how I roll, yo!

Heh

Today while I was in the shower, Monkey was playing around the bathroom waiting for me.  When I got out of the shower, he stood there frozen staring at me.

Eyes as big as saucers.

In one hand he held the toilet brush *gag*.

And in the other… MY TOOTHBRUSH.

Oh yeah.

And guess who hadn’t brushed her teeth yet?  Just thinking of all of the things that he could have done with that toothbrush while I was in the shower made me a little dizzy.  LOL

At twenty months of age, Monkey has already learned the yummy goodness that is the “Cookie”.  This has recently been realized as a pretty cool thing.  Here is why.

He doesn’t like to try anything new.  ANYTHING new.  He turns up his nose and hollers at me every time I try.  By his reaction, you would think I offered him a flaming turd!

*shrug*

I want him to try new things, so I have to be creative.  I try to trick the toddler brain.  Last week I got him to eat slices of cucumber by asking him “want a cookie?”  Today, slices of Apple, same thing.  How bad am I?

Eh, it works.  I am going to go with what works.

Ok, I have a serious issue.  And I really need some advice from y’all.

The babysitter.  Monkey LOVES her.  But she is stinking up the house!  It’s insane how bad the smell of dog urine is after she is here.  As soon as she walks in the door I am smacked in the face by it.  I have no idea what to do about it.  I am sure she doesn’t realize this and up until now, I haven’t felt that there is any way that I could tell her.  But now, I think I have to.  I am using a TON of febreeze and Lysol every day now to rid the smell from my house.  I have to febreeze everywhere that she sat.  Which isn’t hard to figure out because the green smoke rising from the carpet or couch cushion is a good indicator.

All I can think of is that while she is here, Monkey has to suffer through that smell.  If it were me, I would go crazy.  I never get used to the smell.  I can’t imagine how anyone ever could.

I have been checking my carpet with the black light almost every evening now to make sure it isn’t my dogs.

I don’t know what to do!!!

Would you tell her?  How?!?!  Please tell me what you think I should do because I don’t want to lose her as a Nanny but I can’t deal with it anymore.  *sigh*

Yay! It’s Friday Dear So and So!!!

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Dear Dr W,

You are my new doctor.  Oh my effing god you ROCK!  You are so awesome and I am so glad I found you.

Even though I am petrified about having the D&C on Monday, I couldn’t ask for a more competent doctor.  And I trust your judgment that we cannot wait any longer.

The glowing review from Dr G really helped but when I learned that you used to partner with the doctor the delivered my son, now THAT makes me heart you.  Totally.

I am so glad I found you and when you said that you couldn’t wait to you deliver my next child, I knew.  I really, really knew.

You rock,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

I am so happy that you are back.  I am officially swooning.  I fall in love with you all over again every day.  It’s wonderful.  I am so lucky.  (And so are you *grin*)

Loving you always,

Wife

PS… You, me, wine, candlelight, Saturday night, be there *wink*

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Dear Monkey,

I love how even though I didn’t have to tell you how much Mommy was going through you just knew.  You have been my little rock this week.  Your extra hugs and kisses when I don’t even expect them are AMAZING.  I am so blessed to have such a perfect tiny man in my life.

Love you baby,

Mommy

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Dear Nanny,

Monkey loves you.  And this in turn makes Hubby and I love you.  However, it has begun to puzzle me how you oddly smell of Indian food and dog urine lately.  At first, I thought maybe it was me.  However, now I have had to change Monkey’s clothes and Febreeze the entire house after your departure the last two times you were here.

We will continue to love you, but do tell… what’s the deal?  Anything I can do?

Puzzled,

Cass

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Dear Daisy,

Thank you for jumping up to greet Mommy when she came home from the doctor today.  I love how much you love me.  However, the HUGE HOLE you tore in my new shirt… doesn’t love you.

Now hold still so I can cut your dang nails!!!

Also, can you tell me why EVERYONE in this house has fingernail issues, including yourself??

Frustrated,

Mom

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Dear Steelers,

Please feel free to kick some Chargers tail this weekend.

Yay!!

Proudly sporting my black and gold,

Cass

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Dear Mother Nature,

Awwwww, thank you SOOOOO much for finally reading my letters, emails and texts, however, I suspect the sky writing plane with the sign “BRING COOLER WEATHER… PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!” may have done the trick.  81 degrees today?  You ROCK!

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Want to participate in Dear So and So?  Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Can’t wait to read your letters!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Smootchies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Umm… That’s not your belly button…

Happy Thursday!  Which means TOMORROW awesome peeps is FRIDAY!!  Wootwoot!

Ok so technically, Mommy’s don’t get weekends, but I like to dream, nnkay?

LOL

So my sour puss whiny self has officially left the building.  I know, try to contain your sighs of relief.

And I have decided to postpone the D&C and let nature take a shot at this first.  If nothing works in a week or so, then D&C it is.

BUT!  Until then… I PROMISE, no more sappy, crabby, the world sucks comments.  Kay?

I have a killer support system.  Dude seriously, how lucky am I?  All of my friends and family and internet friends out there are so awesome!!

I know that this pregnancy didn’t work, and trust me when I say that I am pissed about it, but I am to the point now where I know there isn’t anything I can do about it except let it happen and move on to the next one.

Even with this, we are undeterred from our goal.  Sure it sucks (way!) but it is what it is.  So we move on.

So *I* finally finished a BOOK!  I have been having some sort of readers block (haha) for a few months now.  I used to read book after book after book.  Somehow, in the last few months, I hit a wall.  So I finally finished reading Submissive Confessions by CK George.  AWWW AWW AWWESOME book!  I TOTALLY recommend checking it out.  Go there, click the link.  You KNOW you want to. 

And now I am finally getting back to Lost and Found by Jacqueline Sheehan which I am totally diggin so far.  It’s a calm easy read after the very powerful emotions of the last book.

I know I am SOOOOOO behind on blogs but I have been going thru some stuff. So I promise… no… I *VOW* to get back to them very soon and again read each and every one of your blogs.

Promise.  Cross my heart.  Hope to… why the hell did we ever think that was a good saying as kids??

Anyhoo… I totally promise, k?  Pinky swear!

So on a totally funny note, I will leave you with this…

Last night we (Monkey and I) were on webcam with my Gram and my Dad.  Monkey was laughing and kissing them on the monitor and doing all the cutie patootie stuff that he always does.

And then, as mothers typically do, I wanted to show them some of the new tricks… err things he has learned.  *teehee*  So I say, “Monkey, where are your hands?” and he waves his hands in front of him and laughs, and I say “Good job Monkey, where is your belly button?” and expect him to lift his shirt and point to his belly button as he usually does.  However, in a curious turn of events he instead grabs his mini man parts like he is Michael Jackson or Andrew Dice Clay!  They start LAUGHING, and I am laughing and it’s all good times had by all.

Well that’s all for me today.  Poor hubby has been working a gazillion hours this week so I need to sneak in a shower while Monkey naps or I can say adios to getting clean today.

Have a fantastic day all.

MUCH LOVE for all the amazing comments, emails and messages you have all been sending.  You have no idea how helpful you have all been.  I owe you.  Big time.

Hugs!!

ps… and Monkey is awake.  So much for *regular bathing*

*eyeroll*

Chia Bush and Random Tuesday Thoughts

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Well it’s Tuesday and so I am going for the Random today.

Thank you all for the amazing emails and messages and the loss of our pregnancy.  You are all amazing for being so thoughtful.

I got the most amazing email from a dear friend of mine, Steph, in Colorado yesterday.    It made me laugh and cry and love her that much more.  It read:

muah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muah  ‘let me take a breath’   muah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muahmuah muah  peck peck muah muah muah smoochy smootchy muah

LET ME TAKE ANOTHER BREATH.   i HAVE A FRUTOPIA CAP….WILL YOU MARRY ME?

That was the nicest thing anyone has said to me in such a long time.  She is such a great friend.  I have so many great friends.  I am so lucky to have them all in my life.  Some of them read this blog.  Hello friends.

I hate that my friends are all so far away, but have comfort in the fact that I know without doubt, that they would all be by my side in an instant if they could.

I love them all for that.

I love you all for that.

I miss them so desperately right now and wish I could be with them.  I need you right now friends. *sigh*

I am going to be going to dinner tonight with one of those friends.  I plan to drink margaritas and eat fattening foods and have not a worry in the world.  That is my plan.  Sounds good, right?

I was marveling yesterday at how HUGE my son’s feet are.  He definitely has his father’s feet.  He is only 31 inches tall and is already on his way to growing out of his size 6 shoes.  He looks like an L.  It makes me all mushy to think about how when he was born I looked at those little feet and thought, “how perfect!” well technically that was after I thought “Yay! he has 10 toes!”

They grow so fast.  *sigh*

Speaking of growing, have you seen the Obama Chia Pet??  SERIOUSLY, people???  Oh…. My… Gawwwd!  Where do I sign up for my Chia Bush?  (heh heh)  or my Chia Clinton?  How many presidents have a Chia head??  Seriously, this is so beyond disturbing to me.

It is ALMOST as bad as my poor son’s hair.  That is another thing that grows at an alarming rate.  He is going on full fro status, if I don’t do something soon.

Time to take him to the beauty parlor so he can scream like a banshee.  Seriously, people were walking by to make sure she wasn’t cutting off an ear or finger.  Our patient Beautician, Terra, just kept on with it, trying to get it done as quickly as possible and trying to calm his little nerves with no avail.  He on the other hand clung to me like I was trying to hand him over to a three headed monster.  Poor Terra.

I better suck it up and get him in there soon, or I am going to need to buy him some pony tails and bows.  Poor kid.  Lol

I am totally addicted to listening to Ben Folds lately.  Over and over and over and over.  I am so lame.  I want to feel that way in that song.  *sigh*

I am about as grouchy and bitchy as they come right now.  I am still sort of pissed at the world.  Even though the world didn’t do anything specifically.  I hope I am over my funk soon.

Sorry I haven’t been reading blogs.  I haven’t had the interest in posting a Daily Photo Blog either.  I’m sure you’re heartbroken.  I will get back to them soon.  Thank you for your patience.

The Dreaded Post…

The ultrasound Friday with Dr G didn’t go well.  Not only did he not find a heartbeat but the pregnancy stopped growing.  It not only stopped growing, but actually started shrinking.  Which Dr G says is normal when the pregnancy fails.

Last Monday, the crown to rump measurement was 1.8 cm, and Friday it was only 2 mm!

Dr G has referred me to a new doctor, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  However when I called the new doctor, he is out of town until next week.  So I have to go to Dallas to have the D&C done on  Friday.  Dallas is a 3 hour drive.  ONE WAY.  Should be a fun day.  I am going to request a sleeping pill so that I can sleep in the car on the way back.

We are going to try again, and life is going to go on.  This isn’t the first time.  Not even close.  But right now, I just need a bit of time to process.  To grieve.  To be angry.  To mourn. To curse the world and all of the pregnant “oops I am pregnant” women out there who have no idea how freaking lucky they are.  Bitter much?

Puggy Petrified Dear So and So Friday

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Dear Jasmine, Queen of this crib,

I love you.  I do.  You are by far the VERY coolest Pug I have EVER met.  However, Mommy has a bone to pick with you.  And not the kind you like.

Why must you stand in the kitchen and bark for my attention when I am on the other side of the house?? All so that I can come running, thinking there is something wrong with you, like you are stuck in a bear trap (what? It could happen)?  And then to be suckered into the very basic need of you wanting a treat.  A treat that you did nothing to deserve.  Except perhaps making Mommy stub her toe while coming to your “aide”.  *humph*

Not cool chicka, not cool.

Mama

PS.  Thanks so much for rushing to my side immediately after I wrote this letter to you, and promptly puking the bone/treat on the carpet next to my feet.  That was LUUUVVLY.  *gag*

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Dear Cass,

How weird are you that in order to clean up the dog vomit you start chanting to yourself “it’s poop, it’s poop, pretend its poop, it’s poop,  it’s only poop!” in order to keep from heaving?  Even *I* think that is weird.  And I am you.  Sooo…    whoa.

Me

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Dear Window 7,

Wow!  I said it could never be done, but Microsoft has apparently finally put something out on the market that actually works.  And you my friend are it.  I am in love with how smoothly you actually work.  And going on 4 months without an issue, I am in shock.  Wow.

Maybe the Microsoft Nazi’s are done trying to take over the world.

Not likely but hoping,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

Date last night was rockin!  You were smoking in your sexy get up.  And clearly, so was I.  Since you have already thanked me (heh heh), I suppose I won’t bitch and complain from now until Sunday night while you are off gallivanting with your fishing buddies off in the river.

Have a good time, because next weekend Mama gets a day off! Kapeesh?

Love you,

Wife

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Dear Monkey,

Mama can’t believe you are in a big boy bed!  I am so proud of you!  Do you think that, perhaps, you could wake me up in the morning when you get up?  Then you won’t have to take every single diaper out of the diaper changing table and throw them across the room.  And you won’t have to take all of your clothes out of your dresser drawers and THROW them all over you room.  Mommy put those toys in there for you to play with.  Not for you to THROW across the room.  (I amsensing a theme here?)

Thank you regardless for letting me sleep an additional 39 minutes this morning.  It was completely worth walking into the diaper, clothes, toy tornado that was your room.  TOTALLY worth it.

Love you baby,

Mommy

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Dear Dr G,

Give me some good news today about the pregnancy, k?  I am really really really really really really scared.  Really.

Please?  Please.  Pretty Please.  K?

Petrified,

Cass

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Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by, again
Xoxo

Doctors Schmoctors!!

I have all these blogs that have been bouncing around in my head.  Things I want to get on paper.  And yet when I sit down to write them my brain goes blank.  Is that weird?  Well I can tell you it is most annoying .  Grr.

I am working on a good TMI post for tomorrow   Should have you all giggling pretty well.  So look forward to that and bear with me while I do a little griping.

Today I am sort of having this little pity party for myself.  I am feeling all emotional and wondering if things are going to work out with this pregnancy.  I am scared, but trying to remain hopeful.

Part of what is frustrating me so bad is that I feel like the doctor, Dr M, I have here in Texarkana is pretty much a moron.  I just don’t get good vibes from him.  I had to start seeing him because my infertility specialist, Dr G, who is based in Dallas, works with Dr M here in Texarkana.

Usually, or at least in my past, I have had an ultrasound tech do all of the ultrasounds on me.  Someone who is very familiar with Ultrasound machines and who is trained exclusively in reading and deciphering them.  Dr M does his own ultrasounds.  In my head I am guessing this is an attempt to save money.  Makes sense.  Well it would make better sense if I felt that Dr M actually had extensive training in administering the ultrasound.

The problem is that I don’t think he has a clue.  I will be laying there and he is all up in my bidness with that HUGE probe scanning my innards, and he always has this look on his face like… “uhhh… ummm… uhhhh, whats that? Uhhhh” It is *not* very reassuring.

The first time he actually was able to find the gestational sac. (last Tuesday the 15^th) it only happened after about 15 minutes of him searching and saying there was no sac.  It was when I tried to move to reposition myself because he was STABING ME IN KIDNEY being too aggressive that he said, “Oh wait! I think I see something” and then had the nurse prop my hiney on a few towels for a better look.  Apparently my position helped.

“WTF?!?!”

He was about to let me leave thinking that I had no gestational sac and that I didn’t have a viable pregnancy, because he couldn’t FIND the sac!?  Looks pretty darn clear to me on the screen!

Isn’t there a procedure in place for ultrasound techs to scan the entire uterus?  It isn’t that big people!  It’s like the size of your fist!  So, SERIOUSLY!  How does he miss it?

So then this last week he is scanning around up in there trying to find something, with that typical dumbfounded look on his face and I have to remind him “Don’t you want me sit on those towels so you can get a better look?”

Dr M: “Oh! Yeah let’s try that.” Like he came up with the idea all by himself.

Then as you know he wasn’t able to find a heartbeat and he said he “thinks” I am measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days.  This just leaves me thinking… Does this guy really have any effin clue??

He doesn’t deliver babies anymore.  And I am starting to understand why.  Hubby says he was probably drunk all through medical school and cheated his way through it.  I am starting to think he might be right.

So with all of this frustration I have, I called Dr G, the specialist in Dallas.  This guy I trust.  He knows his shit and he doesn’t beat around the bush.  (Pun not intended… or was it? *evil grin*)

Anyhoo, Dr G says that he hasn’t known Dr M for very long and that he was approached my Dr M to do a remote partnership so that the patients in Texarkana would have access to a Fertility Specialist.  Otherwise, they do not.

After I tell him about all of the red flags I am seeing, he says he wants to see me in person and that he will be willing to work with any other doctor I choose in Texarkana, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  Yay!!

I have an appointment to see Dr G on Friday at 3PM.  He makes the 3 plus hour drive to Texarkana once a month to see the patients he has here.  I am very anxious to see him.  I am sure he will be doing another ultrasound to let me know what his opinion is.  Since this guy does this EVERY DAY and this is his life, I am feeling much more confident that he can tell me what the actual diagnosis is.

Dr M never gives me any details or information on anything.  We always have to dig it out of him and still don’t feel we get nearly enough.  Things are NOT that way with Dr G.

I am totally stoked!  Friday cannot come soon enough!  FINALLY we should have some answers.  I NEED TO KNOW!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant.

The Moon Will Show Me How??? Random Tuesday Thoughts

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Happy Tuesday and Happy Randomness!  You know how much I like a good random string of thoughts.  So without further ado… Random Tuesday Thoughts…

I got paid a pretty awesome-TASTIC compliment last night.  My Dad said “I wish I had been half the Dad to you kids that you are a Mom to Monkey.”

How awesome is that?!?!

It made me feel really great to get such a wonderful compliment from my parent about my parenting skills.  Woot Woot!

This was the conversation that went on in my bed at just before 2 am this morning.

Hubby:    The moon will show you how.

Me waking up out of a dead sleep:    Huh?  What’s wrong hon? What’d you say?

Hubby:   The MOON will show you how!

Me:    Ummm… Are you talking in your sleep?

Hubby yelling: THE MOON WILL SHOW YOU HOW!!

Me confused:    The MOON?

Hubby annoyed:    Yes, the MOON. That thing in the sky!?

Me:   Ummmm………………….???

Hubby:   *snores*

Me:   Oh brother. *eyeroll*

Another random outburst from Hubby’s sleeping mind in the wee hours of the night.  This happens often and he never remembers.  Great fun.

Yesterday we had our ultrasound.  It didn’t go great.  There was no heartbeat, and I am only measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days.  Not great news folks.  Another ultrasound next Tuesday to see if we made any changes.  It just seems that this keeps dragging on and on and on.  At this point I just need to know.  It is very frustrating to not know.

Having the TV back is WONNN-ONNN-ONNDERFUL!!!  We are going to try and limit our time, but with fall shows coming back (woohooo!) I am anxiously awaiting some of my fav’s.  It was a great learning experience for us, and we will for sure do turn off the TV week in May, but having it back (especially since we are getting MORE rain *gag*) it helps keep me sane.  And it helps keep Monkey sane.  He gets cabin fever.

It is mean that I call my son Freddy Krueger because he refuses to let me cut his finger nails??  I’m going to have to get them registered if he won’t let me cut them soon…

“Yes I am here to register my son’s toenails as deadly weapons.” Hah!

Every time I try to cut them he starts screaming and wiggling like I am going to cut his hand off.  I am holding BABY clippers y’all!! Not a chainsaw!!  It’s quite a show.  *eyeroll*

Speaking of my little mountain climber, yesterday morning he decided to climb out of his crib for the first time.  Freaked him out!  Not nearly as much as it scared me, I’m sure.  But he was fine, just a little shaken up.

So last night, Hubby converted his crib to a toddler bed and we baby proofed every square inch of his room.  Lucky for us he sleeps with the door closed and can’t turn door knobs yet.  That should be fun when that occurs.

So I put some toys in there in hopes of getting him to stay quiet for just an extra few minutes as to afford Mommy a few extra winks.  Which actually worked out ok for about 30 minutes this morning.  It would have worked better though, if I didn’t have Mommy Radar.  You  know… the radar that makes me shoot out of a complete sleep as soon as his breathing changes on the monitor?  Yeah so I was awake but at least able to lie in bed and pretend to sleep for another 30 minutes this morning.

His room looks pretty good though, don’t you think?

And yes that is a baby gate in the window to keep him away from the blinds.  Can’t afford to replace the blinds, but can’t afford to have him swinging from them or hanging himself on them either.  So his room is 100% baby proof now!!

Ok, I will stop with the random craziness!

Have a great day y’all!!

**UPDATED** Tone deaf Wet Dog Random Tuesday Thoughts

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Monkey has finally realized that his poor Mama is tone deaf.  So whenever I start to sing lately, he YELLS at me.  You know, that weird grunting thing?  “UHH UHH UHH!!” with some “AAHHHH!” thrown in.  Well at first I just thought he didn’t want anyone to sing for him.  Call it desperation if you will, but I hoped it wasn’t me.  Then when I started to realize that he will let ANYONE else, and I do mean ANYONE else sing for him, I had to accept the facts.  This isn’t to say that I don’t continue to try.  But he grunts and yells through it all and then when I am done he lets out a loud “Yayyyyyyy!!!” and his eyes say “thank you for finally shutting the hell up mother!”

It’s not a great thing.  Cause even though I can’t carry a tune to save my life… I LOVE to sing.  So I just need to decide if I can either give it up or tune out his screams of protest while doing so. *evil grin*

Every night when I go to bed I pray that when I wake up the housecleaning fairies will have come and cleaned my house.  But alas… *sigh*… still no fairies.  Well I can’t be sure about the fairies actually.  I did notice that there is a bottle of wine missing.  And I found a few wine glasses with glitter on them.  So maybe they are on strike.  Maybe they just flutter in to drink my liquor and then pass out on my couch.  *shrug*

It is POURING rain here.  Again.  On the bright side, I think we can finally build a dock off our back porch.  Hubby is going to be thrilled when he comes home and realizes that our backyard is now a lake and he can finally get that boat he has been wanting.

However, let me just tell you… trying to get a Jack Russell and a Toy Pug to go wading out into the lake to take their morning tinkle break… not so fun.  Add to that their prissy, holy-er than thou attitudes and it turns into a real circus.

Picture this.  Me picking each of them up, one at a time, and running out to the grass to throw (yes THROW) them into it while screaming  “ it’s ok, go potty go potty, please go potty and mama give you a treat, go potty!!!”  Since of course I have to repeat this process until they finally realize I won’t stop until they pee, you can imagine I am drenched before this is all through.

Then comes the ÜBER FUN task of trying to dry them.  Jazz, the pug, seems to think that trying to attack the towel AND the arms that hold the towel is the best way to accomplish this task.

I have to start chanting to myself Cass, be the pack leader, be the pack leader!! Guess who successful I am at *that*??

That is a less than successful endeavor, so I just have to deal with wet carpet and couches all day.  And hey, on the bright side, who doesn’t love a nice wet dog air freshener???

So I can’t lie.  I am sitting here trying to type my random thoughts but the only thing going through my mind is the pending ultrasound.  My appointment is in less than an hour to see if this pregnancy is still working out.  The numbers show that it is but we haven’t seen a heartbeat yet.  I am sooooo nervous.  I have a bad feeling in my gut.  I am just trying not to throw up.  Wish me luck!!!

I will try and post an update later today.

**UPDATE**

The ultrasound went well today.  After the doctor searched high and low ForEVER, he finally found the little gestational sac.  There is only one sac.  So I won’t be getting my own TV show! For those of you who have made comments about that.  LOL

I am measuring about 5 weeks now.  We thought we were about a week and a half further along.  But you never know.  All my numbers and measurements are consistent with 5 weeks.  God works in mysterious ways.  But I am feeling much better about things today.  So happy that it is not a tubal pregnancy!

We will have another ultrasound Monday morning to see if we can get a heartbeat.

Thank you for your prayers!!