Still Alive Not Me Monday and Daily Photo Blog

It is time for another “Not me” Monday. Time where I make it clear the things that did Not happen to me in the last week.  Feel free to click on the link above to read other “Not Me” Confessionals… errr… Not really.

It was not me that has been sick all week and not able to talk.  Of course this did not occur while Monkey and Hubby were also sick all week.  No way.

Lemme tell you how not fun that was.  That’s code for: It was HORRIBLE.

*sigh*

It was not me who went through 3 boxes of Kleenex in 6 days.  And it was not me who whined and pouted when I had to use toilet paper this morning to blow my nose.  Maybe I should get one of these…

It was also not me who cheated and went and bought a Battery Operated Nasal Aspirator to use on the baby since he doesn’t seem to blow his nose on cue yet.

**Take note: The Battery Operated Nasal Aspirator will be here by renamed the Booger Vacuum.

It was then not me who, while trying to convince Monkey that the Booger Vacuum was not trying to suck out his brains, used it on myself as demonstration.

It was TOTALLY not me who then realized.. ‘Wow! This Booger Vacuum really works!’ And it was soooooo not me who has since used the Booger Vacuum several times.

(Hope you already had your lunch… lol)

It was not me who got all the Christmas presents wrapped yesterday and either boxed up for shipping or nestled under our Christmas tree.

Oh ok… that really wasn’t me.  That was hubby because it is not me who wraps like an idiot.

If *I* wrapped the presents, it would look something like if you blindfolded a drunk 2 year old and then had him wrap all your presents after tying both of his hands behind his back.  That or CrapWrap.

And no, that does not mean that I endorse slave labor for your 2 year olds.  Even I know to offer them beer first.  Gawww. *eyeroll*

So all of our presents are looking GORGEOUS under the tree and it’s all thanks to my lack of being a proper Mom/Wife.  Can you hear the sadness in my voice?  Uh huh.  Thought so.

Here was the conversation at the dinner table last night.

Hubby: Monkey, you need to watch Daddy and learn to become a champion gift wrapper like me.

Monkey: <baby babble>

Hubby: Yes, it is a skill you will require later in life, especially if you marry a woman like your mother. <gives me a look>

Me: Yes son, your wife will have you trained in no time, just like Mama trained your father.

It was not me who is SOOOO behind on blog reading that I am quite SURE that I have lost all of my readers.  *pout*

It was not me who won 4th place in the I ♥ Faces Blog from my Monday blog “Pets Only” I ♥ Faces last week.  YAY!!!! I am so awesome!! Check it out…I ♥ Faces Blog

Here again for your viewing pleasure is the winning photo:

Seriously this made me feel like a million bucks.  Out of 486 entries, I was ranked in 4th place!  That to me is so awesome.  And I even got the awesome badge of honor of which I placed on my sidebar –>

It was not me who totally is too lazy to post a Daily Photo Blog too.  So here is a Daily Photo for you to smile about.

Wow that was super easy.  Maybe I will do that from now on!  Because I am not lazy.  No way, not me.

Ok… that’s really all I got today.  I am still running on only half my cylinders.  *yawn*

Have a great Monday!!!

Six inch, Ramen, Cheesy “Not Me” Monday!

It is time for another “Not me” Monday. Time where I make it clear the things that did Not happen to me in the last week.  Feel free to click on the link above to read other “Not Me” Confessionals… errr… Not really. 

It was not me who took my kid out first thing in the morning to get a pick me up Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte.   It was then totally not me who stopped to chat with the neighbor and then lied to the neighbor when he asked “are those your sleep clothes?” by saying “no, ahem, they are just our lounge clothes” ignoring the fact that be surely noticed the sheep on my pajama pants and the footie pajamas on Monkey.  That is something I would NEVER do!

It was not me who let Monkey eat Cup-o-Noodles and Cheese Balls* exclusively because I didn’t want to listen to him scream and pitch a fit.  But it was not Monkey who was trying to mimic me after watching me blow on his noodles to cool them off.

He did this between each bite.  It was SO CUTE!!

*Yes, Carma, we are still eating the same batch of Cheese Balls that I bought how long ago?? HaHa

It was not me that tried for 20 minutes, through screams, kicking and crying to try and put a monkey costume on my Monkey perhaps just for the photo op.

In my defense, this pic was actually taken when we got the costume a month or so ago.  He obviously loved it just as much then as he did on Halloween.  Yay for Monkey Costume!

So I guess it was not me who finally gave up and just went to Johnny Carino’s instead.  And it was not me who let Monkey have spaghetti at Johnny Carino’s even though I knew it would end up all over everything and the busboy would be cursing me when we left.

nom nom nom nom nom

It was not me who was giggling while Hubby was getting a 6 inch Q-tip shoved up his nose to test him for the flu.  And it was not me who decided to document this moment for him forever and ever.

So cute, isn’t he?  He always sticks his tongue out at cameras.  Paparazzi and all.

Oh and it is sooooo not me who is PRAYING so hard that I don’t have to get the same Q-Tip treatment if this cold doesn’t go away. *gulp*

It was not me who stayed in bed this morning for an extra 30 minutes even though I could see Monkey on the monitor pulling EVERYTHING out of the dresser drawers.  But hey, 30 minutes is 30 minutes y’all.  Don’t judge.

What things were not you this week?

Make sure to link up if you blog “not me” Monday.

Not Me! Monday

I have decided to finally participate in an episode of Not Me Monday by the adorable MckMama at www.mycharmingkids.net.  I’m sure you know who she is since she has like a gobzillion readers.  Some day I will be as amazingly famous as her.  Ok, not really, but in my head it works. *grin*

So without further ado, here are the things that most definitely were NOT ME …

It most certainly was not me who ate an entire bag of honey mustard pretzels last week for lunch.  And NO WAY would I then chase it down with TWO Kit-Kat bars from the Halloween candy stash.

It was also not me the other day who saw Monkey playing happily in the playroom and thought to myself “aww no! how did he get chocolate milk all over his bum?” and it was most definitely not me who took another 5 minutes to connect “oh dear lord, we don’t HAVE any chocolate milk!” And it FOR SURE was not me who cursed the diaper company for making a diaper that leaked.  Eww.

Since I have totally not been lazy the last 3 weeks, it was totally not moi that rewashed the same load of clothes 5 times over the course of 5 days because I kept forgetting to put them in the dryer.  No way would I ever do that!

It was not me who was too lazy and battling a migraine who pulled into the Taco Bell to order her family their dinner.  And it most certainly was not me who allowed my 20 month old to eat Cinnamon Twists when that was the only thing he didn’t scream about and try to throw at me.

And FOR SURE it was not me who accidentally grabbed the cordless house phone instead of my cell phone for my drive to the Taco Bell.  That would just be silly.

Guess what else was not me? Well… since you asked… (heh) it was not me who broke down and let Monkey keep one of the toys that I bought for a friends new baby girl just so he wouldn’t scream and continue to make a scene.  So, now it is not my almost 2 year old who is STILL carrying around a rattle for an infant baby girl.  Nope.  Not my kid.  No way!  LOL

Ok, that’s all I have for this week.  Please make sure to click the link above to go and add your won “Not Me Monday” posts.

Hugs and kisses!