*Love* vol 2

The lovely DC Princess does a weekly blog called I LOVE Fridays.  I was inspired by reading her posts each week to write one similar last week called *LOVE*.

I so enjoyed doing the *LOVE* post that I think I might make it a regular event.  Not sure yet but we shall see.  It won’t be on a specific day because, well I have too many days devoted.  And I just can’t commit to that kind of pressure.  HAHA

I won’t however be restricting myself to only “Things” today like I did last time.  Just whatever comes to mind.  Yay!  (say Yay, you know you want to)

Here goes….

I *LOVE* that my ass is all healed!! YAY!!!  (what a freakin’ nightmare that shit was!) SHEEZ!

I *LOVE* that I got soooo many comments, emails, phone calls and messages from people telling me how much I was missed last week!  I was shocked and honored.  And now I have a big head.  Yay!!

I *LOVE* my Jacuzzi bathtub.  Yay!

I *LOVE* that we got all of the shopping done for Thanksgiving today!  No more crazy crowds.  Yay!

I *LOVE* that I got awards from AMAZING bloggers this week.  Thank you Carma Sez!  Thank you Stuperhero Extraordinaire!  And a very belated thank you to MommyBrain and Rudy Family Rukus!   All are great, please check them out.  Yay!

I *LOVE* that someone rushed out of Wal-Mart with such hunger to getiton that they just whipped ripped their “Ecstasy” Trojans out of the box and left the box in the parking lot.  Yay!

I *LOVE* that I stopped to take a picture of the empty Trojan Box thinking ahead that I just had to share my jealousy excitement with all you poor, unsuspecting readers.  *grin* Yay!

I *LOVE* Entourage!! I just started watching it and have made it through to the middle of season 4.  I can’t believe I ever missed this show!!  It is sooooo good!  Yay!!

I *LOVE* that the weather is finally getting cooler.  Wearing long pants is much more socially acceptable when you go 4 weeks without shaving. Haha  Yay!!

I *LOVE* that December is so close now I can taste it!  Because it means TWO things that I *LOVE* are coming.  #1 The holidays!  (and my house gets uber awesome decos for the holidays) And #2 our next round of injections!!  Yay!

I *LOVE* these Suds.  If anyone knows how I can get in touch with them so that they can come to my shower and entertain cheer me on I would surely appreciate it!  Yay!

I *LOVE* Saying YAY!!!!! 

Click here to view today’s Daily Photo Blog… Innocent Daily Photo Blog

Crazy Leg, Fugly Random Tuesday Thoughts

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This is one of the best blogs I have read in FOREVER.  GOOO read it and don’t forget to come back.  It’s a short read and I promise you will laugh so hard, you may pee yourself.  Just warning you. 

Oscarelli: Gang Signs

Have you ever been sitting in traffic and had your foot on the brake so long that suddenly you are afraid you aren’t pushing hard enough?  And that at any minute your foot might fall asleep and you will crash into the car in front of you?  And all the sudden your leg starts to shake and you start to think “Oh my god I am going to cream the car in front of me and we aren’t even moving!” No?  Oh, ok, maybe it’s just me.

You know how some days you look in the mirror and you think “eh Christ, today I look like shit! Gah!” and then the rest of the day you feel like it’s totally your ‘Ugly’ Day?  Yeah, well I have been doing that every day for the last like 2 years.  I am thinking of removing the mirrors from my house.

That would be most rough on Monkey though, because that boy LOVES to look at himself.  He even flirts with himself.  It’s so hilarious.  And it’s not just mirrors, it’s ANY reflection.  He sees himself in the TV and he will run by staring at himself laughing.  And run back again.  Over and over.  He is nuts.

I had a dream Friday night that I was having an ultrasound performed and I said to the tech, “Hey! There are two babies!” and she said “oh well look at that! There sure is! Looks like twins!”

And that’s all I can remember.  That and that when I was looking at the ultrasound monitor, the babies looked like a drawing and not like a sonograph picture.  Very weird.

But I can’t get it out of my head.  Are twins in our future?   I am trying not to get my hopes up.  But we are going to try again, with our doctors go ahead, on my next cycle.  Which should be right about Christmas day if I am calculating right.  Actually, I would start injections Christmas eve.  IF of course my body does what it is supposed to do.  With the help of all the drugs they are giving me of course. *grin*

I don’t want to get my hopes up but my gut says that I will get pregnant.  That of course leads into the next question… will I stay pregnant this time.  PCOS is such a beast.  GRRR *Pout*.

Hubby was gone all weekend on a fishing trip and I took the opportunity to start redoing our house.  Since it appears that we are going to be here for a while and not heading home to Colorado like I had hoped, I have decided to make some changes around here.  For starters, I want to redo our living room.  Our furniture is old and it is starting to feel like you are sitting on marble, not on a soft squishy couch.  I am going to miss it but… not that much. 

I am also going to start redecorating other parts of the house.  Like Monkey’s room and the master bedroom.  I can’t paint because we rent, but I am going to get some paint out and touch up some of the nicks and marks that we have put on the walls.  And by *we* I mean *the boys*!

This weekend I started reorganizing all over the house.  I am Queen of the Label Maker.  All Hail Label Maker.  Amen.

So I labeled the kitchen cupboards and some of my office stuff so far.

I also decided that I had enough of those damn ants.  So, I actually sprayed some bug spray. *gasp*  I know, I know.  They may move elsewhere, but I am going to take my chances!!  Those little nasty shits have spent enough time in my house!  I am fed UP!  And so far it seems to have worked.

I am seriously considering calling the Bug Killer Owner Guy and chewing him out.  I paid him $70 and all I got were bugs!  I went to Walmart and spent $3.95 and my ant problem is solved.  Ponder that!

For some reason I am addicted to 80’s music the last week or so.  I can’t get enough.  And as luck would have it, we have an 80’s radio station here.  Awesome!  And even MORE lucky is the fact that Monkey LOVES it!!  He dances all over the room.  It’s so cute!!  I am trying to get a video of him.

It’s weird though, because for a Photographers kid, he is oddly camera shy.  *shrug*

Well, I am ALLLLLL about the lame blogs lately, aren’t I?

 

Click here to check out today’s Daily Photo Blog… Ruff Daily Photo Blog

Ruhroh Rorge! Random is as Random Does! RTT

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I am so glad it is RTT because my brain is SOOOO random right now it is nauseating.  You have been warned.  Huge Randomness comin’ at ya.

As a matter of fact, my super overactive brain has caused me to lose quite a bit of sleep lately.  Every night when I think I am tired enough, I go crawl into bed and then as if on cue my brain starts going a million miles an hour.  With LOTS of stuff.  From the mundane like the fact that for over a week now, I keep forgetting to buy myself toothpaste and at any moment I will not be able to brush my teeth without using toddler Vewwy Bewwy paste… to the super critical decision making like Christmas with the family and baby making.  (Not in that order)  If this keeps up, they are going to put me in a padded cell.  Which I guess will be ok, just as long as Jill is in the padded room next to me. *grin*

The lack of sleep has a lot to do with the memory foam mattress that we have that I hate with a passion dislike.  It has screwed up my back and neck.  (Even worse than it was screwed up before I got the stupid annoying bed.)  So tomorrow I am going to have a massage!!  WOOHOO!  Pamper me baby for one full hour! YES!

Oh, I almost forgot!  Speaking of Jill, she had a ackward fantabulous giveaway yesterday, which I apparently won, even though I didn’t know I entered.  Please click here to check out my creepy amazing prize.  It’s guaranteed to give you the willies make you laugh!  No, seriously… HEELARIOUS.  Must see. *wink*

Hubby is sick and is staying home tomorrow…. err today.  (I am writing this Monday night in my insomnia fog… go figure).  I just hope it isn’t the flu.  Or the piglet flu either.  Cause both would suck.  Not to mention, it would REALLY suck (for him) if he has to sleep on the back porch as to not infect the rest of us.  And Monkey will totally back me on this.  We will just wave at him from the backdoor.  And hurl chicken soup from a window.

Can you take too much Airborne?  I hope not.  I had 5 of them yesterday, and plan to take probably the same amount today.  And I have made Monkey wash his hands 239841032985 times since he woke up.

Funny conversation with Hubby about Supper plans on Sunday:

Hubby:  What’s for dinner?

Me:  Brinner.

Hubby:  What the heck is brinner?

Me:  Brinner?  It’s breakfast.  Breakfast for dinner?  Brinner?  Get it?

Hubby:  HaHaHa, that’s funny!  I never heard that before.

Me:  Really? Well I didn’t make it up so I can’t take credit.

Hubby:  How come it’s not called Brupper?

Me:  HAHAHAHAHA!!

He cracks me up.

I finally got all of the bugs MURDERED in our house.  YAY!!  And wouldn’t you know it, Danny, that I talked about here and here NEVER called and NEVER showed up!  How insane is that?!?!  Total lack of respect.  Irritates the shit out of me!  I can’t figure out how businesses stay in business with these customer service skills.  It baffles me.

I was browsing MckMama’s photography website yesterday and she has this song playing.  It is A la Claire Fontaine from the movie The Painted Veil.  Which was an awesome movie, imo.  Anyhoo… I just keep hearing this song over and over and over in my head.  So of course I had to get it on iTunes.  It is so beautiful.

I got this picture message with this note on my cell phone yesterday from my Dad.

Pic of Ruhroh driving out of our lives for the last time.  Sniff.

That was the car I learned to drive in.  Astro Mini Van.  The coolest of the cool.  The license plates said Ruhroh.  To this day it is the only car I have ever been able to parallel park.  Shut up!

I totally cried when I got the text.  Weird?  Perhaps.  But it makes me sad to know that it is gone.  All four of us kids drove that car over the years.  I remember the fun we used to have in it on long car rides up to the mountains.  There was only a bench seat (not enough space for 4 kids) so we put 2 bean bags in the way back for seats.  Seat belts?  We don’ need no stinkin’ seat belts!

It makes me sad.  Times they are a changin.  *sigh*

What do you think of my new signature? I got bored of the old one.  I really want to redo my blog page again, but I am soooo bad at that!  And I don’t know anyone who designs WordPress blogs.  It seems everyone does Blogger ones.  How lame is that?  Yes, April, I am talking to you! LOL

Random Tues… err Wednesday Thoughts!

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Happy Wednesday!!!  Somehow I must have screwed up and not posted my blog on Tuesday so today we will just pretend it is Random Thoughts WEDNESDAY!! LOL  Wondered why I wasn’t getting any readers.  *shrug*

….

I guess yesterday was pretty random but why not be random again   I am a random gal so it works for me!

It has been POURING here.  I am sooooo loving the cooler temps!!  The rain doesn’t even bother me too much because of the low temperature, BUT… the backyard looks like a swamp.  This means LOTS of mud.  Mud that attaches itself like friggin glue to my girl’s feet.  And while I know it isn’t their fault, seriously… I am sick of bathing dogs!  Ugh.  But I have to.  Would you want this running thru your house?

This was taken a last year, but Daisy didn’t look much different today.

….

So in the lovely world that is my infertility disease, I am not only unable to ovulate, PCOS also brings me all sorts of other fun things.

For example, women with PCOS typically are heavy.  Or, obese, as more than one doctor has called me.  That is sexy.  But I love to eat so it is what it is.  I try to embrace it.  Some days are better than others.

Also… I have a beard.  Yup, you read that right.  I have facial hair.  Ok, maybe it isn’t a *full* beard, but I sometimes wonder if I stopped waxing and plucking if in fact I could grow out my goatee and braid it like Jack Sparrow.

Sexy right?  (clearly i suck at photoshop lol)

Having more hair on my face is due to me having a high amount of testosterone.  You know what testosterone does to men right?  Yup you guessed it!  So with my manly testosterone levels,  my sex drive is that of a 16 year old boy.

So high testosterone, extra weight and a beard makes me…. a fat hairy hornball.  Hawt!

Poor Hubby.  Thank god love is blind, right? lol

….

I need to get more into my photography.  I really miss it and yet each night I lay down in bed and realize yet another day has passed where I did nothing with it.  Even hubby is going through withdrawals and asking for new photos.

Tomorrow will be the day.  *sigh*

….

I don’t like how sometimes when you leave a comment on someone’s blog, you never get a reply or anything.  What if I ask a question?  I may sometimes be a bit late to reply to my commenter’s but I ALWAYS leave a reply.

Is it just me? I am just being a whiner about this?

….

A conversation that happened the other day while Hubby and I are watching TV:

Hubby: Look babe, this is you.

Me: What?

Hubby: Here let me rewind… watch this.

Hubby:  HAHAHAHAHA

Me:  Your point?

Hubby:  He was going to play tennis!!

Me:  I still don’t see the problem.

Hubby:  You know… cause you are so overprotective of Monkey?

Me:  Yah.  So?

Hehehe   So I am protective.  This isn’t news.  Really.

Poor Monkey.

I’m Back! Monday Dribble

Happy Monday!

First let me just say thank you to everyone who sent the wonderful emails and messages last week.  The D&C was done last Monday and I am feeling much better to have put it behind us.  I just needed to take the week last week to just recoup and be with my family.  It was good for me to do that and I think it helped a lot with the healing/grieving process.

We saw the NEW awesome Dr W today for my post-op follow up.  He thinks that we should be ready to begin the process again in December.  So that is what we are going to shoot for.  Time will tell how my body reacts to everything and what the exact time frame will be but I am very optimistic that next time we will get a healthy pregnancy.

So moving on to funnier things, since that’s how I roll, yo!

Heh

Today while I was in the shower, Monkey was playing around the bathroom waiting for me.  When I got out of the shower, he stood there frozen staring at me.

Eyes as big as saucers.

In one hand he held the toilet brush *gag*.

And in the other… MY TOOTHBRUSH.

Oh yeah.

And guess who hadn’t brushed her teeth yet?  Just thinking of all of the things that he could have done with that toothbrush while I was in the shower made me a little dizzy.  LOL

At twenty months of age, Monkey has already learned the yummy goodness that is the “Cookie”.  This has recently been realized as a pretty cool thing.  Here is why.

He doesn’t like to try anything new.  ANYTHING new.  He turns up his nose and hollers at me every time I try.  By his reaction, you would think I offered him a flaming turd!

*shrug*

I want him to try new things, so I have to be creative.  I try to trick the toddler brain.  Last week I got him to eat slices of cucumber by asking him “want a cookie?”  Today, slices of Apple, same thing.  How bad am I?

Eh, it works.  I am going to go with what works.

Ok, I have a serious issue.  And I really need some advice from y’all.

The babysitter.  Monkey LOVES her.  But she is stinking up the house!  It’s insane how bad the smell of dog urine is after she is here.  As soon as she walks in the door I am smacked in the face by it.  I have no idea what to do about it.  I am sure she doesn’t realize this and up until now, I haven’t felt that there is any way that I could tell her.  But now, I think I have to.  I am using a TON of febreeze and Lysol every day now to rid the smell from my house.  I have to febreeze everywhere that she sat.  Which isn’t hard to figure out because the green smoke rising from the carpet or couch cushion is a good indicator.

All I can think of is that while she is here, Monkey has to suffer through that smell.  If it were me, I would go crazy.  I never get used to the smell.  I can’t imagine how anyone ever could.

I have been checking my carpet with the black light almost every evening now to make sure it isn’t my dogs.

I don’t know what to do!!!

Would you tell her?  How?!?!  Please tell me what you think I should do because I don’t want to lose her as a Nanny but I can’t deal with it anymore.  *sigh*

Yay! It’s Friday Dear So and So!!!

——————————————–

Dear Dr W,

You are my new doctor.  Oh my effing god you ROCK!  You are so awesome and I am so glad I found you.

Even though I am petrified about having the D&C on Monday, I couldn’t ask for a more competent doctor.  And I trust your judgment that we cannot wait any longer.

The glowing review from Dr G really helped but when I learned that you used to partner with the doctor the delivered my son, now THAT makes me heart you.  Totally.

I am so glad I found you and when you said that you couldn’t wait to you deliver my next child, I knew.  I really, really knew.

You rock,

Cass

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Dear Hubby,

I am so happy that you are back.  I am officially swooning.  I fall in love with you all over again every day.  It’s wonderful.  I am so lucky.  (And so are you *grin*)

Loving you always,

Wife

PS… You, me, wine, candlelight, Saturday night, be there *wink*

——————————————–

Dear Monkey,

I love how even though I didn’t have to tell you how much Mommy was going through you just knew.  You have been my little rock this week.  Your extra hugs and kisses when I don’t even expect them are AMAZING.  I am so blessed to have such a perfect tiny man in my life.

Love you baby,

Mommy

——————————————–

Dear Nanny,

Monkey loves you.  And this in turn makes Hubby and I love you.  However, it has begun to puzzle me how you oddly smell of Indian food and dog urine lately.  At first, I thought maybe it was me.  However, now I have had to change Monkey’s clothes and Febreeze the entire house after your departure the last two times you were here.

We will continue to love you, but do tell… what’s the deal?  Anything I can do?

Puzzled,

Cass

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Dear Daisy,

Thank you for jumping up to greet Mommy when she came home from the doctor today.  I love how much you love me.  However, the HUGE HOLE you tore in my new shirt… doesn’t love you.

Now hold still so I can cut your dang nails!!!

Also, can you tell me why EVERYONE in this house has fingernail issues, including yourself??

Frustrated,

Mom

——————————————–

Dear Steelers,

Please feel free to kick some Chargers tail this weekend.

Yay!!

Proudly sporting my black and gold,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Mother Nature,

Awwwww, thank you SOOOOO much for finally reading my letters, emails and texts, however, I suspect the sky writing plane with the sign “BRING COOLER WEATHER… PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!” may have done the trick.  81 degrees today?  You ROCK!

Thank you, thank you, thank you,

Cass

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Dear Readers,

Want to participate in Dear So and So?  Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Can’t wait to read your letters!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!

Smootchies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Dreaded Post…

The ultrasound Friday with Dr G didn’t go well.  Not only did he not find a heartbeat but the pregnancy stopped growing.  It not only stopped growing, but actually started shrinking.  Which Dr G says is normal when the pregnancy fails.

Last Monday, the crown to rump measurement was 1.8 cm, and Friday it was only 2 mm!

Dr G has referred me to a new doctor, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  However when I called the new doctor, he is out of town until next week.  So I have to go to Dallas to have the D&C done on  Friday.  Dallas is a 3 hour drive.  ONE WAY.  Should be a fun day.  I am going to request a sleeping pill so that I can sleep in the car on the way back.

We are going to try again, and life is going to go on.  This isn’t the first time.  Not even close.  But right now, I just need a bit of time to process.  To grieve.  To be angry.  To mourn. To curse the world and all of the pregnant “oops I am pregnant” women out there who have no idea how freaking lucky they are.  Bitter much?

Puggy Petrified Dear So and So Friday

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Dear Jasmine, Queen of this crib,

I love you.  I do.  You are by far the VERY coolest Pug I have EVER met.  However, Mommy has a bone to pick with you.  And not the kind you like.

Why must you stand in the kitchen and bark for my attention when I am on the other side of the house?? All so that I can come running, thinking there is something wrong with you, like you are stuck in a bear trap (what? It could happen)?  And then to be suckered into the very basic need of you wanting a treat.  A treat that you did nothing to deserve.  Except perhaps making Mommy stub her toe while coming to your “aide”.  *humph*

Not cool chicka, not cool.

Mama

PS.  Thanks so much for rushing to my side immediately after I wrote this letter to you, and promptly puking the bone/treat on the carpet next to my feet.  That was LUUUVVLY.  *gag*

——————————————–

Dear Cass,

How weird are you that in order to clean up the dog vomit you start chanting to yourself “it’s poop, it’s poop, pretend its poop, it’s poop,  it’s only poop!” in order to keep from heaving?  Even *I* think that is weird.  And I am you.  Sooo…    whoa.

Me

——————————————–

Dear Window 7,

Wow!  I said it could never be done, but Microsoft has apparently finally put something out on the market that actually works.  And you my friend are it.  I am in love with how smoothly you actually work.  And going on 4 months without an issue, I am in shock.  Wow.

Maybe the Microsoft Nazi’s are done trying to take over the world.

Not likely but hoping,

Cass

——————————————–

Dear Hubby,

Date last night was rockin!  You were smoking in your sexy get up.  And clearly, so was I.  Since you have already thanked me (heh heh), I suppose I won’t bitch and complain from now until Sunday night while you are off gallivanting with your fishing buddies off in the river.

Have a good time, because next weekend Mama gets a day off! Kapeesh?

Love you,

Wife

——————————————–

Dear Monkey,

Mama can’t believe you are in a big boy bed!  I am so proud of you!  Do you think that, perhaps, you could wake me up in the morning when you get up?  Then you won’t have to take every single diaper out of the diaper changing table and throw them across the room.  And you won’t have to take all of your clothes out of your dresser drawers and THROW them all over you room.  Mommy put those toys in there for you to play with.  Not for you to THROW across the room.  (I amsensing a theme here?)

Thank you regardless for letting me sleep an additional 39 minutes this morning.  It was completely worth walking into the diaper, clothes, toy tornado that was your room.  TOTALLY worth it.

Love you baby,

Mommy

——————————————–

Dear Dr G,

Give me some good news today about the pregnancy, k?  I am really really really really really really scared.  Really.

Please?  Please.  Pretty Please.  K?

Petrified,

Cass

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Dear Readers,
Thank you for putting up with me for another week. I do hope that you chose to participate in Dear So and So. Just click here to go to Kat’s Blog and get the button for your page. Or add your letter in the comments. Would love to read!
Have a fantastic weekend!!!
Thanks for stopping by, again
Xoxo

Doctors Schmoctors!!

I have all these blogs that have been bouncing around in my head.  Things I want to get on paper.  And yet when I sit down to write them my brain goes blank.  Is that weird?  Well I can tell you it is most annoying .  Grr.

I am working on a good TMI post for tomorrow   Should have you all giggling pretty well.  So look forward to that and bear with me while I do a little griping.

Today I am sort of having this little pity party for myself.  I am feeling all emotional and wondering if things are going to work out with this pregnancy.  I am scared, but trying to remain hopeful.

Part of what is frustrating me so bad is that I feel like the doctor, Dr M, I have here in Texarkana is pretty much a moron.  I just don’t get good vibes from him.  I had to start seeing him because my infertility specialist, Dr G, who is based in Dallas, works with Dr M here in Texarkana.

Usually, or at least in my past, I have had an ultrasound tech do all of the ultrasounds on me.  Someone who is very familiar with Ultrasound machines and who is trained exclusively in reading and deciphering them.  Dr M does his own ultrasounds.  In my head I am guessing this is an attempt to save money.  Makes sense.  Well it would make better sense if I felt that Dr M actually had extensive training in administering the ultrasound.

The problem is that I don’t think he has a clue.  I will be laying there and he is all up in my bidness with that HUGE probe scanning my innards, and he always has this look on his face like… “uhhh… ummm… uhhhh, whats that? Uhhhh” It is *not* very reassuring.

The first time he actually was able to find the gestational sac. (last Tuesday the 15^th) it only happened after about 15 minutes of him searching and saying there was no sac.  It was when I tried to move to reposition myself because he was STABING ME IN KIDNEY being too aggressive that he said, “Oh wait! I think I see something” and then had the nurse prop my hiney on a few towels for a better look.  Apparently my position helped.

“WTF?!?!”

He was about to let me leave thinking that I had no gestational sac and that I didn’t have a viable pregnancy, because he couldn’t FIND the sac!?  Looks pretty darn clear to me on the screen!

Isn’t there a procedure in place for ultrasound techs to scan the entire uterus?  It isn’t that big people!  It’s like the size of your fist!  So, SERIOUSLY!  How does he miss it?

So then this last week he is scanning around up in there trying to find something, with that typical dumbfounded look on his face and I have to remind him “Don’t you want me sit on those towels so you can get a better look?”

Dr M: “Oh! Yeah let’s try that.” Like he came up with the idea all by himself.

Then as you know he wasn’t able to find a heartbeat and he said he “thinks” I am measuring at 5 weeks and 5 days.  This just leaves me thinking… Does this guy really have any effin clue??

He doesn’t deliver babies anymore.  And I am starting to understand why.  Hubby says he was probably drunk all through medical school and cheated his way through it.  I am starting to think he might be right.

So with all of this frustration I have, I called Dr G, the specialist in Dallas.  This guy I trust.  He knows his shit and he doesn’t beat around the bush.  (Pun not intended… or was it? *evil grin*)

Anyhoo, Dr G says that he hasn’t known Dr M for very long and that he was approached my Dr M to do a remote partnership so that the patients in Texarkana would have access to a Fertility Specialist.  Otherwise, they do not.

After I tell him about all of the red flags I am seeing, he says he wants to see me in person and that he will be willing to work with any other doctor I choose in Texarkana, so that I don’t have to see Dr M anymore.  Yay!!

I have an appointment to see Dr G on Friday at 3PM.  He makes the 3 plus hour drive to Texarkana once a month to see the patients he has here.  I am very anxious to see him.  I am sure he will be doing another ultrasound to let me know what his opinion is.  Since this guy does this EVERY DAY and this is his life, I am feeling much more confident that he can tell me what the actual diagnosis is.

Dr M never gives me any details or information on anything.  We always have to dig it out of him and still don’t feel we get nearly enough.  Things are NOT that way with Dr G.

I am totally stoked!  Friday cannot come soon enough!  FINALLY we should have some answers.  I NEED TO KNOW!!!

Thanks for listening to my rant.

**UPDATED** Tone deaf Wet Dog Random Tuesday Thoughts

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Monkey has finally realized that his poor Mama is tone deaf.  So whenever I start to sing lately, he YELLS at me.  You know, that weird grunting thing?  “UHH UHH UHH!!” with some “AAHHHH!” thrown in.  Well at first I just thought he didn’t want anyone to sing for him.  Call it desperation if you will, but I hoped it wasn’t me.  Then when I started to realize that he will let ANYONE else, and I do mean ANYONE else sing for him, I had to accept the facts.  This isn’t to say that I don’t continue to try.  But he grunts and yells through it all and then when I am done he lets out a loud “Yayyyyyyy!!!” and his eyes say “thank you for finally shutting the hell up mother!”

It’s not a great thing.  Cause even though I can’t carry a tune to save my life… I LOVE to sing.  So I just need to decide if I can either give it up or tune out his screams of protest while doing so. *evil grin*

Every night when I go to bed I pray that when I wake up the housecleaning fairies will have come and cleaned my house.  But alas… *sigh*… still no fairies.  Well I can’t be sure about the fairies actually.  I did notice that there is a bottle of wine missing.  And I found a few wine glasses with glitter on them.  So maybe they are on strike.  Maybe they just flutter in to drink my liquor and then pass out on my couch.  *shrug*

It is POURING rain here.  Again.  On the bright side, I think we can finally build a dock off our back porch.  Hubby is going to be thrilled when he comes home and realizes that our backyard is now a lake and he can finally get that boat he has been wanting.

However, let me just tell you… trying to get a Jack Russell and a Toy Pug to go wading out into the lake to take their morning tinkle break… not so fun.  Add to that their prissy, holy-er than thou attitudes and it turns into a real circus.

Picture this.  Me picking each of them up, one at a time, and running out to the grass to throw (yes THROW) them into it while screaming  “ it’s ok, go potty go potty, please go potty and mama give you a treat, go potty!!!”  Since of course I have to repeat this process until they finally realize I won’t stop until they pee, you can imagine I am drenched before this is all through.

Then comes the ÜBER FUN task of trying to dry them.  Jazz, the pug, seems to think that trying to attack the towel AND the arms that hold the towel is the best way to accomplish this task.

I have to start chanting to myself Cass, be the pack leader, be the pack leader!! Guess who successful I am at *that*??

That is a less than successful endeavor, so I just have to deal with wet carpet and couches all day.  And hey, on the bright side, who doesn’t love a nice wet dog air freshener???

So I can’t lie.  I am sitting here trying to type my random thoughts but the only thing going through my mind is the pending ultrasound.  My appointment is in less than an hour to see if this pregnancy is still working out.  The numbers show that it is but we haven’t seen a heartbeat yet.  I am sooooo nervous.  I have a bad feeling in my gut.  I am just trying not to throw up.  Wish me luck!!!

I will try and post an update later today.

**UPDATE**

The ultrasound went well today.  After the doctor searched high and low ForEVER, he finally found the little gestational sac.  There is only one sac.  So I won’t be getting my own TV show! For those of you who have made comments about that.  LOL

I am measuring about 5 weeks now.  We thought we were about a week and a half further along.  But you never know.  All my numbers and measurements are consistent with 5 weeks.  God works in mysterious ways.  But I am feeling much better about things today.  So happy that it is not a tubal pregnancy!

We will have another ultrasound Monday morning to see if we can get a heartbeat.

Thank you for your prayers!!